Six minutes forward......two minutes back???
Today I had PT and did just that... walked on the treadmill 6 minutes forward and 2 minutes backwards...again...without falling... yay! I also did 12 minutes on the bike plus a lot of other strengthening exercises...so my legs were tired and I was shaky doing my last exercise...squats...granted they are mini squats and I am leaning on a wall, but by then my quads were tired... But I did it. My knee felt good throughout the day and I hope that the same is true for tomorrow...especially after another demanding PT session.
My cold is a little better today, though I am still very stuffy. I know..excitinng stuff I have here today. I debated about blogging, but talked to my mom and she asked if I had done it yet.... so.. I suppose I will.
Today at work I shared my wonderful story of how shallow the dating pool is...based on last week's date... had not yet been able to tell co-workers about it...until I, myself could laugh.... let's just say... those who know the details...agree... dating pool depth = bird bath!!! There HAVE To bee good NORMAL men out there!!!
I do have some exciting news...my partner in crime Sara is coming home tonight. She has been away for about three weeks on business and I have missed her a lot... We are going to have to go on another adventure soon...more motivation to get rid of this stinking cold.
It is chilly tonight. A good night for wrapping up in quilts.
Two weeks ago today my grandmother died. Two weeks ago today I watched my mom say a final good bye to her mother. I saw love, life, and death all in the same moment. Mourning is a hard process...one minute you're fine, the next, like me now...crying. Things unexpectedly make you cry or become reflective... the clematis that I took a picture of last week...made me think Gramie was somehow saying hello to me. There is a beautiful clematis outside of her apartment and she always loved it...hoped that the robins would nest in it each spring. Then there is reading other people'e thoughts or comments....knowing that my grandmother talked to my sister about me...about wanting me to find love... breaks my heart. I don't...didn't want her to be worrying about me...just wanted her to be thinking about how much love she added to my life...how much she added to who I am...but that was Gramie...wanting everyone she loved to be happy...and she knows...knew.. how much finding someone means to me. Maybe this will be one of her projects...maybe she will add depth to the dating pool... I have to admit...one of my many thoughts about Gramie's death was... damn it...one less grandparent to see me get married. I remember my sister's wedding... and how amazing it was to have people there who had so many years of love between them...and how do I refer to things pertaining to my grandmother...past or present... she knows...or she knew... does her knowledge just go away? I guess it depends on what you believe. I have thought a lot about the day gramie died... how she looked...how she felt...to my touch.....she was cool...her skin was smooth...her hands were pale...her fingernails long, like I always known them to be....not long like too long, but long enough to look well groomed and feminine...her body...had been through so much...Our tears fell on her, on her bed... as we tried to be strong and couragously and selflessly say good bye...I miss her...I can't imagine how different it is for my parents...sharing a house with someone for 20 years and then having that person not there. Mom... I know you are strong...but I know it is hard. Dad...I know you are strong too...and also know it is hard for you...Sis...I know that even though you won't have new mittens this winter...your heart will be warmed...and I know it is hard...and I know you are strong...
Wow... where did all that come from?
Here is a cute story about all this...my middle nephew had some insights to Gramie's death...He said that "Nana" as she was known to him... will get to be buried in the ground with a bog rock over her... and then 2-3 weeks later she gets to be a ghost...gets to jump out and scare people...and haunt people's house. So...Nana gets to be a Halloween ghost...he thought it was kind of cool...kids are amazing... GETS to be a ghost....Anyway...
Sorry for the randomness of this blog...but that's what happens when my sinuses are bad.... course now they are more stuffy...
Later......
1 comment:
I am glad to hear that your knee is getting better. When I get daring, I'm going to try walking on my treadmill backwards....I'll keep you posted.
I understand some of your thoughts that you've had about your Gram. My Grandmother (MiMi) wasn't able to be at my wedding, she was in a nursing home at the time. I remember when I was "swimming in the dating pool" we joked about when I got married she would give me a blanket that had my name and my wedding date, but that would have my husband's name attached with velcro in case I ever wanted to change it. =o)
I regret that she wasn't able to come to my wedding, but I wish above all else that she could have met my babies. I think of her when I am painting Ava's nails (MiMi never went a day without nail polish) and rocking Andrew to sleep. I know that she is watching over my family. You will miss your Gram for a long time, but your memories will always be there to comfort you.
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