Flying SOLO

Mom and Dad left about an hour ago, headed for home. It is hard to believe that I am flying solo. I feel ready and know I will be okay. I can do this on my own, but I have been a little emotional since they left. I just appreciate them so much. I am not a parent and don't pretend to know what it is like to care for your child, even your adult child, when that child is experiencing pain and exhaustion. Mom made things easier for me, more convenient, and I so appreciate it. She was also great company for me. I am not going to miss her waking me up every morning, but I will miss her willingness to do whatever I needed or wanted her to do. She's been away from home for three weeks, today. That is a long time. That is a huge part of her summer that she usually spends up north in her camper. Dad was here for a long time and though he did go home for part of last week and even made it to the mountain, he was not content there without mom. I love that about their relationship. Yes, they do things that frustrate each other....Mom gets off in one room, way away from where Dad is and tries to yell to him...and Dad will sigh and yell back... I can't hear you. Dad does things like packs two lawn chairs when there are three people who need seats...and mom shakes her head....but they respect each other, are courteous to one another...and love each other. I know that my surgery has interfered with their summer, but I also know that they couldn't have done anything differently knowing that I was going through this.

I have so many people in my life...I am blessed....yet this is something I am going through alone. People's support and love is amazing, but it is a hard journey for me... and you know how hard it is for me to admit that something is hard for me. This is....has been....will be.... but every day is getting better. Today I feel like I could walk without crutches, that I would be strong enough...but I tried...and can't... yet... I will be able to be self sufficient without mom here...but only because I know I have people to help me... people who will help when I ask for it.

Today I am tired... I think from my adventure yesterday...it wiped me out. I so want to go to that concert with Sara and Phil tonight, but I just don't think it is smart at this point... I think it would be taking on more than I am ready for. I weighed a lot of options...even thought about going only if I could take my own vehicle so if I decided to leave Sara and Phil could still enjoy the show...I even sat in my truck today before mom and dad left...and actually got my foot in... so I will be driving soon.... though not very far because it was not very comfortable. But...I don't want to do something tonight and pay for it later... so I am not going. Sara called a little while ago and I told her I wasn't going to go. She was fine with it and asked if she and Phil could come have dinner with me before they went to the show. I will love to see them. I haven't seen them since I was in the hospital in Boston....they have been on the go a lot, including vacation, so it will be great to see them.

Anyway... I am on my CPM Machine.... did I tell you that it was not adjusted right for the length of my leg?? My physical therapist readjusted it the other day and come to find out... I am not up to 90 degrees.... I am up to 76 degrees... but hopefully that will increase this week.

I know mom and dad will read my blog later...and Mom and Dad, I want you to know how much I love you and appreciate how much you love me! Thanks for EVERYTHING!

(By the way.. I took the picture of the seagull when Sara and Melissa and I went to the outdoor concert.)