Bubble

This is my fish, Sushi. He lives in this bubble on my wall. Actually it is a half bubble. He has lived in there since early spring because his old residence was a bowl from which my cats drank the water. With four cats, there would not have beeen enough water for Sushi, so he was relocated to the wall. I look at Sushi quite often and wonder if he is happy in that little bubble. He swims around...responds when I get close to the bubble...and eagerly eats the food he is given. But...he doesn't have any friends...in fact he would try to kill any other fish that may get introduced to him and that's no good...and family...well I am not familiar with beta family trees, but I am sure that sushi's mom wanted to eat him and the same is probably true for his dad...because fish do that... so what's the point? Yet he lives...his needs are met...at least the needs that are apparent...clean water, food....clean water.... what stresses Sushi out? Does he get stressed? Would I want to live in a bubble...alone...stress free? I guess he is pretty dependent...there is no natural food source in his bubble, so he does depend on me...which means he has at least one relationship... I depend on people...perhaps not solely for my survival...but I do...I need people...and know that being in a bubble may protect me from some stress, fear, and pain....but would also prevent me from forming the relationships that, when lost, cause stress, fear, and pain...

So is this blog random enough for you? It stems from everything going on. My head is full, yet has no direction. One minute I am thinking of Gramie, the next thinking about having to start work tomorrow...then about mom...sitting with Gramie and the love she shows her....then about dignity...then dad...then sis...then other family stuff....then tomorrow...meetings...listening to opening day remarks from a superintendent who likes to name drop, not of people he has met, but of people he has read,to feel important...then to friends...to cats...to Gramie....then to my other gram....dad's siblings...the fact that I really need to water my flowers...and now wondering if I should ice my knee before I head to bed or not...and hoping that tomorrow my knee survives...and that I don't feel overwhelmed with seeing everyone tomorrow. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....... how much pressure can a bubble withstand?