Reflection

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Martin Luther King


I woke up this morning, after not sleeping well last night, feeling sorry for myself. The pain from PT kept me up last night...I did not take any pain meds last night, but think I will tonight...after yet another painful PT session....I am beginning to miss "P" the therapist who came to my house...her torture was bad, but at least I was already home...plus she didn't have some of the gadgets that they have here...including that electric current thingy...So... back to this morning... I was running a little late because of my knee...very stiff, and called one of my co-workers to say that I would be late for my morning duty and may need help covering it. I then got ready, slowly, and drove to school. It was really dreary out...and as I backed out of my driveway, the morning radio show I listen to was talking to a woman who, along with two other women, stand on the main street of their town, holding flags, every Tuesday, for an hour. They have done so every Tuesday since 9/11/01... then I realized what day it was...and felt like an ass for feeling sorry for myself on a day that is difficult for so many people in our country. I still remember that day...vividly...and can't believe it has been six years. After realizing what day it was I was driving to work and passed some construction. Holding one of those stop/slow signs, was a man, smiling and waving at every driver in every car that passed him. His smile was one of those that made me smile instantly...it seemed the only appropriate reaction, along with waving back to him. Something simple...greeting people...making people smile...on the anniversary of 9/11...that's a pretty big job... Then I stopped at a store...a place I frequent on my way to work... for some orange juice and when I left they gave me a free flag sticker in honor of 9/11. The morning radio show said that there were reports about people's plans for the day...how many people were going to attend some form of a memorial service, how many weren't...etc...and they said that therapists think it is healthy for people to not take time out of their day to recognize/remember the events of 9/11...because that means life is going on and people are returning to normalcy. I disagree...how is NOT pausing normal...granted I did not plan for today being 9/11...did not plan a specific way to recognize 9/11, but it is Sept.11th and I can't not think about it...what happened that day, my personal experience in that day, the experiences that my friends/family had...and what has happened since...what IS happening. The quote by MLK, above, is one that I have in my classroom, on a picture of the WTC. I also have some pictures I had taken from atop the WTC and the kids at school today were very interested in them...but I was painfully aware that they don't understand all of the ramifications of 9/11...they remember their parents talking about it, being worried...but they said they don't remember much about it...after all, they were between 6 and 8 years old. They did not understand why some teachers had tears in their eyes this morning in our moment of silence...yet these kids could be heading to the war if they are in the service in 4-5 years...unless somehow the war is over and/or the US is out...

While it is important to reflect...it is also important to live...to continue our lives...as the radio said... we are getting back to "normal." Which makes me once again ponder the word normal...and what that really means. Normal...maybe it means...what we get used to...so maybe normal isn't so good...yet we strive for it...

I am working hard to get back to normal with this whole knee thing....but I don't want my life to be what it was... I want it to be better...

I hope that we, our country, gets better...if this is normal...we're in trouble...
PEACE