I am ...
I am home....it was hard to leave my parents today...but I know they have each other and they are ok... they are sad and hurting, but they are ok... I am ok too... I am sad and hurting too...but I am ok.
Someone I know has a blog who has confessions every Tuesday... here's my confession... One reason I am relieved that there will be no sevices for my grandmother is because I would be there...alone. Yes, I would have my family, but... as a single person...I did not want to face going to a funeral alone. I did that...when my grandfather died. I had my parents, sister, and other relatives, but I wanted someone there who wanted to be there to comfort me...the way spouses comfort each other...with that connection.... selfish? maybe...
I hope to sleep tonight. I hope mom can sleep tonight. I hope dad can sleep tonight...and I hope Sis sleeps tonight...
I am sad today...
2 comments:
I'm sorry that you are going through all of this, but I'm glad that you are OK. I hope good things start happening for you soon. Let us blog readers know how your knee is doing when you're feeling a little better. Thinking of you and your family...Love ya.
finding courage to catch up on your blog today. courage? because i knew you'd make me cry. this added element of feeling alone is very powerful to hear about. i'm proud of you for seeing it and expressing it. there's so much that hurts us in life--i think it's much worse when we can't name it.
you deserve someone. grammie mentioned you to me a couple times in the hospital and hoping love for you. maybe she's upstairs working magic!
love, lola
p.s. glad you're reading my confessions!
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