MLK & the New England Patriots

I am home today... in celebration of Martin Luther King Day. It amazes me that his "Dream" has yet to be realized... granted progress has been makde in the way of racism, but it is something that is still very very real. It's something that many people don't think about on a regular basis.... I would say that the people who don't think about it often, are people who are classified as white by our society. White people have many privileges... that often go unrecognized...because it os not something we have to think about. Check out this essay by clicking its title: Invisible Backpack Some of you may have seen it before, but it just gives us all something to think about. Living in a state that has very little diversity is something that I often ponder. Years ago I lived in CT and traveled into NYC regularly and loved seeing the diversity. I look through a journal I kept of that time...one day I wrote about going to the beach... I remember seeing a family consisting of a mother, father and two small children. The family happened to be Indian... or at least that was my impression based on the beautiful vibrant clothing the mom was wearing... as they walked on the beach they came upon another child... who was white.... and the three children instantly started running together, chasing each other, smiling and laughing... I thought about that... how those kids saw each other as a new playmate... not a white kid or an Indian kid... but as someone to have fun with. Where do we lose that ability? Where do we learn to quantify people based on the pigmentation of their skin?

As I have met people from different parts of the country, I have been asked a similar question by several people... How, growing up in Maine, in a state where there is so little diversity, did you become so open minded? This is a question that makes me think of a lot of things... first, I take it as a compliment... that people perceive me in such a positive way... but I also wonder if people assume that there are not a lot of open minded people in Maine... it also makes me wonder how people can be closed minded... Throughout my own life, I have been treated differently... sometimes positively, sometimes negatively, because of my height. I am very much aware of how people react to my height... something that is a physical attriubute causes such raw reactions in people... strong reactions. People's thoughts seem to be unfiltered... I walk into a room, knowing I will be the tallest woman there,... knowing people are going to stare and whisper... knowing that I do not fit into people's paradigms... I love being tall... would never change it... but there have been things that have hurt... a lot... over the years... things that people have said... the power of words is amazing. I have worked hard to not let people know they have hurt me... I put on a brave front... but there have been times in my life that I have saved face, left the situation, and broke down. No matter where I go, people look at me, ask me how tall I am, ask me how tall my parents are, if I have siblings, their height, what did my mother feed me to make me so tall, what size shoes I wear, if I date shorter men, and other questions that I am shocked that people have the audacity to ask... My life, my height, to me is normal. Normal. I do not feel differently until other people make me feel that way... make me feel that being 6'6" is not normal by their reactions. Going to a store means preparing myself to face the questions, looks, and whispers... admittedly there have been times when I haven't gone places because I did not want to deal with it all... Sometimes it does hurt... I remember one time in college... there was a dance on campus. My friends and I went to the dance. Foolishly, I had not given much thought to my height before going... I figured it was my college and by that time most people on campus knew me by sight and their reactions were kept in check... the shock value was pretty much gone....what I had not accounted for was that there would be people there from other colleges... visiting their friends... One thing that continues to astound me is taht people think that I can't hear them because I am taller than they are. I am also often surprised by how unaware people are that their actions and ignorance are often easily observable... One group of guys were keeping their eyes on me... and I knew it wasn't because they were admiring my beauty... they started getting more animated and I heard their conversation... they were betting each other... to see who would dare to dance with that tall girl... and even acting as if they were dancing with me...with their arms way up in the air... and they were laughing... and elbowing one another to offer encouragement. I caught a glimpse of some money as they moved toward me... and I walked towards them... told them to put their money away because this tall girl wouldn't dance with any of them because they were asses.... my friends thought it was brave.. bold even... Afte rmy brief interaction with them I kept walking... out the door.... to my apartment... and fell apart. I was so angry... at myself for letting them get to me... because I worked so hard to not let people get to me... and I was angry at them... for being like that... they didn't know me from anyone... didn't know anything about me... and yet they felt it was okay to treat me like that... for their entertainment. That is not the worst scenario that I have endured, but it stands out because it is a moment that made me realize I had run out of toughness... so maybe the reason I see the world as I do... is that I understand how it feels to walk into a room, knowing I am unlike the rest of the people there... and know that people are thinking things about me... some thoughts that may or may not be so flattering. I have gone through different philosophies in my life when it comes to race and ethnicity. There was a time that I wanted to be so PC that when describing the only black person in a photo or on a tv show... I would describe that person's clothing... but... now I may make reference to someone's ethnicity... because I know that when my friends describe me to other people, or try to point me out in a crowd, I am described as tall... and because I love being tall, am proud of being tall, describing me as such is not a bad thing. So, in my crazy way of thinking... something that is a positive attribute is a positive way to describe someone... and people's race is something to take pride in.... now see... here's something interesting. I almost just typed, people's race is something they should be proud of... that in itself is a statement that reflects how our society has influenced my mind.... they should be proud of... they.. .meaning people of other races...almost suggesting that non white people qualify as people of a certain race...and white people don't... I should immediately think of my own race... my own ethnicity... but I think as a white person I exclude myself when talking or thinking about different races/ethnicities. So.. while I do know that I do not experience racism...in the way that non white people do... I think I can understand and have experienced some similar feelings... While I hope that I am as open minded as other people often perceive me to be... I know that I react to people...to their appearance... and not always positively... I wish I could say that it is natural to do that... but I think back to those kids on the beach... and think their reactions to each other were natural...

So to end my MLK thoughts... I leave you with one of my favorite poems...

When You Turn Off The Light by Shel Silverstein:

Small as a peanut,
Big as a giant,
We're all the same size
When we turn off the light.
Rich as a sultan,
Poor as a mite,
We're all worth the same
When we turn off the light.

Red, black or orange
Yellow or white,
We all look the same
When we turn off the light.

So maybe the way
To make everything right
Is for God to just reach out
And turn off the light!



I can't not mention the Patriots though....

18-0 is a new NFL record... no other team has played 18 games without losing. Impressive? You bet it is! I watched the game last night and was happy with the outcome, though it did not go as smoothly as a Patriots fan would have hoped.