This and That

Let's see... I have a few things on my mind today... and I am not sure how jumbled it will all be... but here goes...

I just got home from the gym and I feel pretty good... I upped my time on the elliptical from 30 minutes to 40. In 30 minutes I had been doing 2.5 miles, so 12 minute miles. I have been happy with that... very happy... and I have been doing weight training too...which means I spend about an hour at the gym when I go... but today I was in a mood where I didn't want to be trapped in the gym, but also needed to work out to get rid of some stress... so I decided I would go to the gym and do just cardio. But then I made a deal with myself that if I wasn't going to do weight training I needed to extend my cardio time... so... I did... my compromise was that I did it at a slightly slower pace... so after 40 minutes I did just over 3 miles... I guestimate it was about 13 minute miles... but it was worth it to get in a little extra time. I would like to get up to doing 3.5 miles in 40 minutes...but this week I will continue on the 40 minutes routine and also make sure I do the weight training stuff too... I also ran into one of my cousins at the gym... which is rare... we don't have a big family, so running into a cousin usually does not happen outside of family holidays. That was kind of cool... she is quite a bit younger than me but we have some things in common...including our height... she is not as tall as I am, but is considerable taller than most women. She lives in this area and I should give her a call sometime...

My knee has been doing pretty well...knock on wood... I have been much more conscious of it lately because I have my annual MRI coming up to see how things are looking in there... fingers crossed, all will be okay. I have wondered if things are ok because my knee has had some pain... but I truly believe that it is because my body has been so stressed and tension filled that my whole body has been achy...plus... I am guilty of wearing my flip flops a little more than I should be... I should be wearing more supportive shoes with my orthodics... So, my MRI will be on May 30th... and I will get the results in July... if I can refrain from bugging my doctor until then...

On Friday I am stepping WAY outside of my comfort zone... I am getting a massage... yep... I am going to have someone see if they can help me get rid of some of the tension my body has been hanging onto for a long time. I figure that if my shoulders hurt when I try to force them to relax... maybe I need to call in an expert. I am not venturing into this solo... one of my good friends, Debbie, is going too. We are going to do a couples massage...which I believe means that we are in the same room at the same time... that will be good for a little moral support and certain laughter. I admit that I am a little concerned with this whole being touched by a stranger thing... it stresses me out a little, but... that is the opposite effect intended I suppose... so I am trying to open my mind to it... breathe in... breathe out.... breathe in.... breathe out..... repeat... I am not sure if I am one of those people that can completely relax... I think I used to be... but I don't remember how to do that...so maybe this is a step towards remembering.

Today was a stressful day...it started last night really....I was irate with a message that was left on my father's answering machine... by someone to whom I am biologically related, but over recent years have categorized her less and less as family...and finally confronted this person...the phone conversation was not pleasant and I felt the need to follow up with an email because I didn't feel like I was being heard over the numerous excuses...my email demanded apologies for her poor behavior demonstrated in her message to Dad as well as other things she has done to cause unneeded drama in our family... My filter, where this person is concerned, is gone. But I said what I needed to say, what I have been thinking for a very long time... and tried to say it in a way that was about my perceptions of things and tried not to personally attack her... but I will no longer tolerate her emotional outbursts or allow her to use my father as her scapegoat for everything she perceives as wrong with her own life. I am proud of myself for not letting her guilt me into my usual role of peacemaker... she has caused a lot of damage and enough is enough.

So I was pretty fired up about all of that and went to work still having a thorn in my side... and one of the teachers I work with complained to me about one of the plans we recently developed at a meeting. She was at the meeting and agreed to the things in the plan, but then when one of her co-workers complained that one of the classroom accommodations would require extra work for him... so she called me claiming that she didn't agree to that at the meeting and that the team felt blindsided...however, as I told her and showed her... the accommodations about which she complained, was also in the plan that was expiring...and she backed down...When did education become about what was convenient for teachers and not about what is best for kids?... grumble grumble...

But... I am glad that I was able to leave work fairly early, get to the gym, and tune out the world for 40 minutes... and my body does feel better. Ugh... I feel like this is another depressing post... but... here is some good news... This June will mark another high school graduation... the group of kids who graduate this year is very special to me... one of my favorite groups... I have heard from several of them and they are going on to higher education... I am so proud!