Steps closer to reality

I know my mom died... we all know... but I think there have been moments when we have ... well... not forgotten, but where it hasn't been the sole focus.... but certain things make it more real... getting emails from friends I haven't seen in years...needing to make all the plans... inviting friends and loved ones to a gathering to honor her... all make it real.

I was online last night and one of my friends emailed me saying that the obituary was well written... We hadn't seen it yet... but there it was online... I read it... and it registered...but I think I read it more from an editor's perspective, making sure that all the information we had shared at the funeral home yesterday was included... and I thought reading it last night would mean I had overcome the sticker shock of seeing an obituary with my mother's name on it. But I got up this morning and the paper was here... the real, hard copy, of the paper...and I opened it up to the obituary section, not a section I have perused often, but that's where I was... and like most days, there were pictures of elderly people above their obituaries... and then it jumped out at me... Mom's obituary. Age 56... and it was like a slap in the face... or a shot in the heart... Ugh... that was hard...one more step in this process...