Avoidance...

Today... is similar to yesterday... I think mom is even more disoriented, yet she is very determined in some ways... I have written a lot on here about my mom and at soms point I will write a lot about my dad... but I just can't write a lot about him yet...he's amazing... he did admit today that he is happy to not be here alone with mom...

Today I made a few phone calls to let people know I would be staying put... had to call the sub line for work... and called a good friend... and I got emotional... so... after that call I decided I needed to stop it... needed to just turn off the tears and suck it up... dad isn't sitting around crying his eyes out, though I think it wouldn't take much for that to happen... which is another reason I am trying not to... once one of us starts I think we would be in danger of not stopping. So.. I decided to do something... I went to the store (thankfully the local market was open on the holiday) and got supplies to make chili, cornbread, and cake... so when I returned I was able to stay busy chopping and mixing and monitoring it all... it helped... but I am not sure what strategy I will use tomorrow...

My sister is coming... and I am glad about that... yet I know it is going to be really hard for her.. like it is for us... and wish none of us had to go through this. But... while this is going to be hard on her... I think she would be harder on herself if she wasn't here...