Kaleidoscope

I got an email from someone who means a lot to me. This person reflected on some things and I hope she doesn't mind that I am going to quote her here... She articulated it so well that I don't want to change anything... She wrote:

"The situation reminds me of the designs you can see in a kaleidoscope. I have one of those little inexpensive cardboard kaleidoscopes on my bureau. You can see the most beautiful scene as you look in there, but in just a second, even though you are very sure you didn’t move, one little piece of glass can fall and create a whole new picture. "

How true is that? WOW! I LOVE it! I can so relate to it! I wrote back to her and said that I also think about it because even when we think we have things adjusted just right... and then that piece of glass falls.. we may get frustrated.. but in order to even SEE the scene you have to have LIGHT...without light, there is no image in a kaleidoscope... so... you gotta have hope...and maybe even some faith... to see things as they are... I like that too...

It also fits with a conversation I had with my gal pal, Sara, tonight. We are both focusing on being healthy right now...we are both doing this very well I might add! (Insert applause here.) Inevitably the topic of my knee came into the conversation. I shared with her how much PVNS changed my whole mindset... how it changed me... and I shared more with her about how miserable I really felt at times...and how excited I am right now that I have been given the green light... that things are good for my knee... but how scared I am that at anytime that could shift and I could be back where I was...

But then... I had a bit of an EPIPHANY... (one of my favorite words by the way)... No matter what... even if PVNS comes back... it WILL NOT be a like it was... I will NOT feel like I felt. Why? Because... if I start feeling ANYTHING different in my knee I am going to Boston... It will not take four years to figure it out again...wouldn't add weight onto my body... because I have knowledge and know that I can be proactive... even if that PVNS colored glass falls back into my view... I will look at it differently... so very differently. And... if I shift things just slightly... it all changes...I have some control...

I think this kaleidoscope metaphor will stay with me for a while... Thank you to my very dear emailer!