I was attacked... and I survived

Don't be alarmed...

I am ok... but I was the victim of an attack last night when I was working on the turnpike. MOTHS... Big freaking moths.... I worked from 10 last night until 6 this morning.... my first midnight shift and I had forgotten about the dangers of that shift... the moths.

I am afraid of moths...yes I am 6'6".... but I fear them... in the same way that some people are afraid of snakes or mice... I HATE them... they scare me... it amuses many people that I fear moths... but I do... Last night they were stalking me. There were three gang leaders and a lot of others waiting in the wings. #1 killer moth was HUGE... HUGE.. H-U-G-E HUGE... Right after a patron had paid and left.. this THING came diving at my head... I honestly thought it was a bat... that's how big this thing was... which for the record I am also afraid of... I was upset... and as I was realizing it was a moth it was dive bombing me... so I got as low to the floor as I could while trying to figure out how I was going to save my life and survive this thing...I thought about trying to escape out the back door of the booth, but I had locked the door earlier and it would have taken too much time away from the escaping to get past the killer moth AND unlock the door... so... I was within reach of the light switches... and as I was avoiding the moth from hell I reached up and turned off the lights inside the booth... thinking that the moth would leave the booth and head toward the bright lights above the toll...please please please killer moth... go towards the light... it worked... it left the booth and went to the light... and I kept watch of it in case it decided to come back. It cast a HUGE shadow that kept looming over me ominously... I closed the booth doors, all of them and hoped that no customers would come through because I didn't want to give the moth a chance to reenter the booth. It kept flitting around and I could tell it was warning me that there was more to come. After about an hour of it torturing me... it disappeared.... I know it didn't go away... it was plotting with the others...watching me from afar... I tried to relax a little and started knitting. (Yes I was knitting... which is a great way to stay awake in a toll booth all night!) At this point I had turned on one small lamp inside the booth and was watching closely for any signs of moths. I had bent over to adjust the yarn and when i looked back... ahhhhhhhhhh there was Moth #2... not as big as the other one, but this one was faster.... it was near the light and flapping its wings at me... I then had a few customers in a row and told them I was being attacked by moths... people were amused...so.. in the midst of waiting on people I lost track of the sucker. But I knew it was in there with me... Every 20 minutes or so he would rear his ugly head and then hide again... by this point I had armed myself....a broom... a rolled up newspaper...and insect repellent that I found in the booth... So I was ready for him... but he was smart.. he hid out near the many wires that keeps the toll operation working and I didn't dare to hit them, fearing I would shut the place down.... a couple of his buddies came close and I swatted them... One fairly good sized one perched itself on the side of the toll booth... I held the newspaper like a baseball bat and killed him... and it left that gross powdery moth plasma on the paper... I left him out there...dead... hoping to ward off other moths... setting an example for others....it didn't work... The third leader of this gang came in and wasn't messing around... He was the most spastic of all of them... which creeped me out a lot.... flapp flap flap... chaotic flapping... ahhhhh... and I chose a weapon... the insect spray... I sprayed him... from afar of course...he flailed about more... and I had to open up the back door to let the air circulate so I didn't die... I thought he would leave so that he could get fresh air.. nope... so I sprayed him again... and more flailing... I realized that its wings were wet form the spray and it couldn't fly... which it was trying to do... and then I felt really bad... guilty... it was suffering... so I summoned all my courage... grabbed a thick wad of paper towels and smooshed it... ewwww... it was gross. That final strike was at about 3:00 in the morning... and I was on edge until the sun started coming up... So it was a long night.

I really hate moths... it stems from a childhood science project... my teacher had asked us to collect insects, we had to kill them by putting them in a jar with alcohol soaked cotton balls, then we had to mount them on a board with straight pins and identify each insect...I did my bug board... no problem... but the day they were due I was riding the bus, with my board, and one of my classmates got on the bus. She sat with me. (For the record this is the same chick that told me there was no Santa... I'm not bitter!) She had her bug board too... BUT there was something very very wrong... her bugs were not dead... they were alive... crucified on her bug board... still moving from time to time....it was HORRIBLE... the bugs.. and I only remember moths... were moving...sometimes erratically flapping their wings and were pinned to this board... I remember I didn't want to look, but I couldn't look away... and remember really looking at the moths.... they are hairy... dusty... fuzzy looking freakish things.... scary... and the m ore they flapped the more scared I got... This fear was compounded years later at my parents house... whenever I would come home late they left an outside light on for me which attracted a ton of moths... who dive bombed me as I tried to fight to get my key in the lock and make it inside without getting bitten... then there was the time I was working as a nanny... I was sitting on a porch, in broad daylight, with one of the kids I was watching. He was in his wheelchair and we were just enjoying the afternoon. He had asked me something and I had looked towards him. When I looked back towards the lawn this moth came out of nowhere and came right at my forehead... I think it was going for my eyes... I screamed and ducked of course... which prompted this kid to laugh for hours.. literally... he was so amused and just when he would stop laughing he would think about it again and it would get him going again.. belly laughs... tears.. the whole thing.... So... people... Moths are out to get me.. plain and simple. A coworker learned of my fear of moths and one fall I returned to school to find a moth, in a baggie, on my desk... way to retraumatize me! She owned up to doing it, claiming she was helping... to desensitize me to them... not the case...

Yes I know moths don't have teeth... but when they are attacking me... I see their fangs! Irrational? Maybe.




This post has NOTHING to do with my knee.. but it is about trauma... next time I am taking my moth racket with me... a few years ago my parents bought me this tennis racket looking thingy... that is actually a battery powered bug zapper... it was kind of a joke gift, but... it is now going to be a part of my turnpike gear.

Phew.... I'm ok... I'm ok... but look at these pictures... they are a scary scary creature... and they are after me....


(Perhaps this is another post for my therapist to read?!)