Brothers

Yesterday I met up with my sister to drop off my nephews... they had been with me since Saturday and the time went by so fast. It would have been nice to have them longer, but as a family, their summer is pretty busy...

I have three nephews... ages 8, 6, and 4, soon to be 5... and each of them are so unique. They each have so many things going for them... the oldest loves academics... he wants to be a paleontologist (which I had to spell check to make sure I had it right!) He reads a lot...he has read the Harry Potter series twice...he is the cuddlebug of the bunch... he is very sensitive and at times gets very quiet... overthinking things... he has to know the plan for things...The middle nephew is more laid back... about some things he has an attitude of "who cares?"... things like wearing his shirt inside out... at times he seems like a kid that has no fear..... we have bets in our family that he will be the first of the three boys to try to be superman off the roof of his house...socializing seems effortless for him...and he is very smart too...shares his older brother's affinity for school...and the youngest...is perhaps the most determined... he knows what he wants, and how he wants it... when he laughs he makes other people laugh...he works so hard to keep up with his brothers...and he, like all the boys, loves animals... he feels slighted because he isn't quite old enough to come to visit me without parental supervision... to be honest... I don't feel like I know the youngest brother as well as I do the older two...yet... I hope that changes.

Having two of them, together, was hard work... last summer having one kept me busy and wore me out... but having two of them... trying to constantly keep an eye on both of them at the beach was hard... if one wanted to build sand castles and the other wanted to be in the water... it was hard to balance it. I think having them one on one is a beautiful experience...and I think they each need that time... I hope next summer I can do that maybe... one at a time... but it was cool for them to be together in some ways too... they entertained each other when I was cleaning up or doing laundry... and they did things together... the older of the two wanted so badly for the younger to be braver in the ocean. The oldest is a water baby... always has been... he doesn't care how cold... how big the waves...rain or sun... he wants to be in the ocean... the younger is more apprehensive of the water, the ocean... always has been. The waves overwhelm him a little...and he gets cold quickly. The first visit to the beach this trip... the younger was timid... he sat in the sand at the edge of the water and was content... he walked into the ocean a little, but was quick to retreat. He wanted to use his boogie board the way his older brother does, but was nervous... but... by yesterday... he was out there with his older brother, purposefully being knocked over by the waves. I think that the encouragment of his older brother helped him summon his courage. The older brother never once insulted the younger for being a little timid.

The boys bickered once in a while, but when I reminded them they were on vacation and they were here to have fun, it ceased... I asked them if they consider each other a frined and was happy that they said yes. I hope that continues... I am sure they will compete as they get older... grades, sports, girls, friends, etc...but through it all I hope they remain close.

The drive yesterday was pretty good...my sister and I agree that meeting partway was a pretty good way to do it. I think it may open up more opportunities for me to get the boys for a weekend here or there or to meet up for part of a day...

I am a little sad that they are gone... I have been pretty low key today... lazy really... although I am going to the gym in a little while.

I think part of my saddness is about... well... wondering if I will get to have a family of my own... how lucky my sister is to have the boys... and it also makes me think a lot about if I do have kids... which family members will they know...specifically... will they know my mom...it breaks my heart... but... it's out of my control... which I hate...