There's no crying in toll booths....

I didn't work out today... I had thought about getting up extra early to work out, but then I stayed up too last last night.... but I got up this morning to head to work at the toll booth.. and it was a beautiful morning, sunny, cool, but not cold... a refreshing kind of a day. The morning was pretty slow... I often make small talk with the patrons when there is time... anyway... This truck comes through, fairly new, and inside an older gentleman is driving... I would guesstimate his age to be about 65 or so... and he looks like a typical Mainah..in his big truck... but I look and hanging from his rear view mirror were this pair of hot pink fuzzy dice... so after greeting him and taking his money, I asked him,"Hey, why do you have those bright pink fuzzy dice." He smiled and happily shared with me that the color of those dice happened to be the same color as his wife's favorite flower. (Of which he could not recall the name.) He said that he had the dice to help him think of her...and then shared with me that his wife, had passed away two years ago...and he got a sad tone in his voice as he reached towards the dashboard..."But," he said,"see this, she's always with me." And he showed me a picture of he and his wife when they were first married....he proudly shared with me that they had been married 37 years before he lost her... I shared with him that my parents had been married 38 years until we recently lost my mother... and he said,"Honey, it's hard...but you...you gotta live a good life." And he smiled, the same kind of forced smile I recognize and now do... not to show other people that you are happy or trying to be... but because you are thinking about how much you are missing someone and at the same time telling yourself you are okay and you want to try to be happy.... I returned his smile and told him to live a good life as well... and he drove off.

That exchange, that maybe lasted 2-3 minutes, just got to me... to see him... carrying a laminated picture of his wife with him in his truck, having her favorite color with him, seeing his love and affection as he looked at the picture... was beautiful... and sad...and it deeply touched me... the love we have for others doesn't disappear... even if the people do... and a few tears streamed down my cheeks and I quickly wiped them away and was thankful for having sunglasses on so that the next few patrons couldn't see my eyes... not because I was embarrassed, but... there was something about it that seemed intimate and special to me... that I didn't want to share it at that point.... nobody needed to know that a toll collector and a patron bonded over a pair of fuzzy hot pink dice...

I have thought about it today... a lot... and it's kind of ironic that today is the anniversary of two of my best friends... Sara and Phil...who have, so far, been married for 11 years... I see that same kind of love/affection between them... Sometimes its color is brighter than others...sometimes hot pink...sometimes mellow-yellow... but it's there... always...

Happy anniversary Sara & Phil!