Random...

Well... I am finally relaxing a bit.  I had my interview yesterday and then came home to sleep for a few hours before going into the tolls for an overnight shift.  I managed to stay awake all night and crashed this morning.  When I got up I got to take the newly married couple to the airport to take off for their honeymoon.  They were so cute and excited.  Since coming home I did some cleaning... my apartment has really been at the bottom of my priority list lately and it is in need of attention.  So the bathroom is now very clean and the kitchen is close to it... My plan in the next few weeks is to slowly go through this place and toss things that I don't need.  Whether or not I get the NH job, I would like to simplify things, purge a bit if you will.  I think that if I do not get the job in NH it is time to move to a new place around here... So... I am going to start throwing things away, giving things away, and maybe sell a few things... time to start fresh... in a lot of ways... finding a new place to live is part of that... this apartment is small, crowded, and dark... It has served me well... when I had to quickly leave the place I had before this because my landlord at the time needed to sell his house and live in the apartment where I was living... I had just found out that Mom had cancer... and finding a new place to live sucked.  I was lucky to find this place, it was close to one of my coworkers which was nice to have a friendly neighbor... and after a while, Suellen moved in upstairs... so it hasn't been a bad place to live, but in some ways I have never really thought of it as a place I would stay... but more of a place of transition.  I have never decorated either bedroom.  So the idea of getting a new place is exciting.  I want a place that is bright and sunny. 

So... the interview... yesterday, went well.  I spend the first three hours touring the school and meeting with the principal and the guy who is the other assistant principal there.  It went well.  I think we have similar approaches to things and I seem to fit what they are looking for and they seem to fit what I am looking for.  It could be a good fit... both ways... then at noon, I had the formal part of the interview, with the principal, asst. principal, and the asst. superintendent.  The asst. superintendent made me a little nervous at first, but it didn't take long to get comfortable.  I was myself... and figure that if it's a fit, it's a fit, if not, something else will work out... following the interview I met again with the principal and asst principal for about an hour.  I am one of two finalists.  On Wednesday afternoon I will find out if I am the finalist... in which case I will then meet with the superintendent, along with the principal, and go from there... if that goes well, I would go in front of the school board the following week.  Exciting!  I was and am way more excited about the position after yesterday.  Today I have been looking online for rentals in the area... and am not sure where I would live... but that will come, if this works out...

Am I ahead of myself? Perhaps a little... but I need to be thinking ahead... Last night, at the tolls, I drafted my resignation letters, for my current teaching job and for the tolls... and drafted some short letters to certain people in both organizations that I want to make sure to thank before I leave... maybe I am subscribing a bit to the school of thought that you have to believe something is happening and visualize it happening, on order for it to happen... or maybe I am just hopeful. 

So... tomorrow is mother's day... and as always, it is close to my birthday... our birthday, mine and Mom's ... that was last week.  With so many things going on I haven't had much of a chance to think about it... I have thought about what Mom would be telling me about the idea of moving and a new job... I know she would be excited for me, proud of me... and she would also tell me not to worry, it will allllll work out... which I am sure... it will...

Mom has been gone three years... so this was/will be the fourth birthday/mothers day without her... On Wednesday I had a chiropractor appointment and even though they know me, know Mom died, it isn't something that is in the forefront of their minds... when I left, the doctor who did the adjustment, asked me if I was going to see my mom for mother's day... I froze... and just said... no... how crazy is that? Pretty crazy. I had all kinds of thoughts go through my mind in that moment... should I say, my mom's dead... My mom died a few years ago... which would have made him feel like an ass... so I just said, No... It's a nice gesture, saying happy mother's day to people... it happened today when I stopped at a store to pick up a few things... the clerk said Happy Mother's day to the two older ladies in front of me... didn't say it to me... which is fine... but... it is ... hard to 'celebrate' mother's day when Mom's no longer here... But... I do want to recognize the day... because I am so lucky to have had my mom in my life for as long as I did... lucky to have known her as a mother and as a friend... to have loved her and been loved by her... so... I guess appreciating mother's day... is ok...

I am also thinking of my dad and his siblings... this is their first mother's day without their mom...

And I think of Betty... how much she has brought to our family... and I feel like I want to recognize her... too... on mother's day... but am not quite sure in what way...

how's that for random?