The Results are not in...

Yesterday was a long day.  I got up and was on the road by 7 a.m. When I got off the highway, the hospital exit, I was feeling pretty good... when I got close to the hospital I had a weird feeling in my belly... but pushed it away. )This is the same hospital where Mom had her surgeries and where we spent much time...) I got to the hospital at 9:00 where I was greeted by Betty's sister, Holly.  Betty and Dad were in a room, prepping for the day.  It was nice to chat with Holly, get to know her better.  I have only met her a few times before.  After a while Dad came out and we all went into a teeny tiny room with Betty, to wait for them to take her to do some tests.  We were in a building that was kind of separate from the rest of the hospital, a totally different area than we were in with mom, which was good. Betty was in good spirits, though I am sure she was scared... scared of the outcome more so than the procedures themselves.

Throughout the day I stayed in touch with her daughter via texts and with Sis.  At one point they took Betty for a few different procedures... and she came back... and we got to visit for a while... then she went into surgery around 1:20 or so.  When we returned to the waiting room for the surgery my Dad's sister, Sharon, and her husband were there.  I was pleased that they had come to keep us company, to support Dad and Betty.  But there was a moment when I flashed back to Mom's first surgery.... they had come then too... and were there when the doctor came out... to tell us that it was not anything like he anticipated... and that there was no way to remove it.  But again I remembered this was a different day, different situation... but when the door opened to the waiting room and the doctor stepped out... the world stopped for a minute... and fear crept in..... and then he said, "It went well, she did great.... " and then I am not 100% sure of what he said... but something about getting it all out, and thinking that it looked pretty good, that it didn't look like it had started spreading... and told us we could see her soon...

BIG SIGH OF RELIEF... not euphoric... because we still are waiting on lab results to see what the lymphnodes show... but... for now... the fact that the tumor was removed... is a HUGE step in the right direction.... I got home around 6:30 last night... exhausted... and wanting to just go to bed... but... there was the 100 day challenge to think about... and workout 87 had not been completed... so I walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes... then... relaxed... then slept.... and slept well...

It is March... Right?

So Thursday... March 22nd... temperatures reached the mid 80s!  In Maine!  In March?  

What's a girl to do when that happens?  

KAYAK! 

As soon as school ended I rushed out the door to get on the water... The warm few days has really got things sprouting and budding... 

I took this paddle trip solo, my friend from the other day was supposed to come with me, but had something come up.  She was apologetic and hoped it wouldn't stop me from going.  Of course it didn't!  

This is a kingfisher, it's a bit blurry, but they are a cool bird.  He was flitting about in a little cove area.  After watching him I looked across the water and saw bubbles... coming towards me... and I was puzzled... then I saw a small muskrat... it swam right under my kayak... and then back out... too funny! 

As I paddled I came upon these two ducks and wish the quality of this picture was better... they kind of look like they are kissing!  As I was reviewing the picture on my camera something caught my eye... and I didn't get my camera turned soon enough to get a picture... A turtle!  Sitting on a clump of grass!  WOW... I was so excited and mad because I didn't think people would believe me without photo proof... as I got back on the main part of the river I saw two others on a log that quickly disappeared into the water!  ahhh... I needed a turtle picture... 

As I paddles along I got really close to the shore and found some small ferns starting... 

And this is some moss that was growing on some rocks... the texture was pretty cool, didn't get a great shot of it though... lighting was off I think... 

As I approached the tunnel I noticed some movement on the dam... I thought it was a beaver...

But... it's tail does not look like a beaver... more like a muskrat... but it was HUGE if it was a muskrat... small if it was a beaver... 

As I watched the beaverskrat go away I saw something bobbing in the water... then it went under... then it returned and it was... 

a TURTLE!!! Peeking out at me... I was excited to get at least one picture of a turtle!!!

I decided to take a self portrait while on the water... 

And on my paddle back down river, I stopped by the tree... to say hello... 

 And then................. on the same log from which they had jumped on my paddle up river, there they were...TWO turtles... 

Why is that so exciting? Because it is really spring!  Turtles hibernate and they are out!   Also, while paddling, the peepers were serenading me... it was so nice, such a nice paddle!  

After my paddle I went to dinner with Debbie.  It was sooooooooooooooooo good to see her.  It had been way too long... way way too long... she is doing well... things are in a holding pattern with her breast cancer and her doctors are pleased.  I was happy to know that.  

Ironically... I learned this week that Betty has breast cancer... Yup, Dad's Betty... It is scary to hear the word cancer again... so close to home... fortunately, the prognosis is good... doctors think it is curable... not just treatable, curable... She will have a lumpectomy next week... it is an outpatient procedure...and Betty will be home that night... I want to be there... it's the same hospital where Mom had her surgeries... and the idea of Dad in a waiting room, alone... is something I cannot stomach.  Betty is amazing... and is handling this well... I know she is scared, for a lot of reasons... but... I do believe that our families, have had enough bad crap happen, that the universe.... well... that the universe can't possibly take us back to such dark times... I gotta have faith in that... 

Day 82...

So... it's day 82... and I have been keeping up with my activity, but I admit that it has been a rough week... in some ways.  I have become bored with my healthy go to food choices... and with my workouts... part of that is that I didn't do a big grocery shopping trip last week and 'got by' with what was in my freezer... so... this weekend I am going to do a good shopping trip... I have to work on Saturday and am planning to take some recipe books with me and choose some recipes and healthify them, if need be.  (Did I just make up a new word?)

I have also been frustrated because the scale has not moved in the last week and a half... granted, from where I started I am down about 25-26 lbs...my clothes are loose and I am able to wear clothes I haven't worn in a long time... so there is progress... and I promised myself that I would not be held hostage by the scale... but... it is hard... to want to see progress...

There is a cool thing happening though... my outside is starting to match my inside again... I am starting to feel like I look the way I feel... and that's motivating.  I got an email today from another person in Maine who has pvns, and she said something about knowing that I am active and having questions about any limitations I may have... knows that I am active... I like that... having people think of me as an active person... because I want to be an active person... not someone who is active to meet a challenge (although you can be sure I have needed this challenge and will finish it!) ... not someone who is active to train for something (although I have registered for the half marathon to help me not lose my motivation, needing to have another goal.) ... but eventually I would like to be active without thinking too much about being active, if that makes sense... I want it to be part of my life, who I am... and I think I will get there... and have to know that there will be plateaus along the way...as my body adjusts...

What did I do on March 18th? Went KAYAKING!!!

Yes I did!  

The weather forecast had predicted really warm temperatures today, 70s in fact... so I decided it was a good time to get my first paddle of 2012 on the board!  A few people cautioned me that the water would be frigid, which may have been their way to say, are you sure it's a good idea?  It wasn't a good idea.  It was a GREAT idea!  

I was relieved, I admit, that one of my coworkers also thought it was a good idea and joined me.  I think I would have been a bit nervous going solo with the water temps so low... So this morning, before going to the gym, I loaded the kayak.  (It was so happy to be out of the garage!)  At the gym I did my 35 minutes on the elliptical and did weight training for my legs... then came home, packed up the rest of my gear and met up with Terri.  

I get into the kayak the same way Mom did... we wade out until the water is about at knee level then sit into the kayak like sitting on a chair, then swing my legs into the kayak.  So today, I waded into the water and yes, it was a bit chilly, but not as bad as I expected!  I had brought a towel with me and warm socks so after getting in my kayak, I dried off and was fine.  The temperature was incredible!  I had on a long sleeved shirt but would have been fine with short sleeves!  

We did see s few small ice patches... 

This was Terri's first time in this spot and she really liked it.  I was so happy to see this tree still standing!  I took so many pictures of her last year and feared that the winter would knock her down... but... she survived and looks like she will even have some foliage!  

I am surprised it was so nice on the water.  I even saw a couple of bugs!  (Which means moths are soon to follow, ugh!)  

This is a shot for Jill... she likes, for whatever reason, pictures from my kayak that include my kayak and feet! These socks helped my feet warm up, and eventually I took them off... 

Returning to the tunnel... 

Looking over the beaver dam at the end of the tunnel... yes, that's a bit of ice.  

The landscape seemed kind of empty, being out there so early.  The plants will start growing soon and will add some color.  This is Terri paddling along... 

We didn't see any turtles, of course, too early, but we did see some ducks and Canada geese.  As we got closer they took off and ran on top of the water.  I tried to get a good shot, but wasn't quick enough... 

So Terri tried to help me out by getting close to them... 

But still didn't get a great taking off shot!   

The geese circled back over us.. 

Pretty soon it will be impossible to see that barn from the water because the plants will be so tall! 

The sky was sooo blue, and the contrast between the sky and the birch trees was beautiful! 

Terri didn't want to go too far up... so I didn't get to check to see if some of the other things I remember from last year were still there...like the wasps nest... that will have to wait until next time!  

We only saw ice in this one little inlet.  So of course I had to explore! 

I thought I could paddle through the ice, thinking it was just slush, but ended up having the tip of my kayak go up onto the ice a bit... so backed up!  

It was cool to be able to see under the ice by looking at its reflection in the water.  

How often will I get the chance to have bare feet, in my kayak, with ice?  Had to take a picture!  

What a GREAT day!  For me, Spring has officially begun!  

Beach Pictures

You all know how much I love the beach... and the walk the other day was wonderful.  I became focused on trying to get cool pictures of seagulls in flight... and managed to get a few... On the walk back I saw a lot of people on the beach digging for 'killer clams'... that's what I call them anyway... they are huge clams... I had never seen so many people digging for them.  It was really cool to watch...

Enjoy the walk on the beach with me! 

(This guy cracked me up... a tough Nascar guy, with a little purple bucket, combing the beach... too cute!)