I don't know what to say...

I got a message today through facebook... from a girl I went to college with... we have not stayed in touch beyond messages and comments on facebook... She is a sweet person.

I got an email from her today, very out of the blue. Today her father was moved from the hospital to a hospice unit... and she asked me what she could do to make it hurt less... she is with her dad, holdin ghis hand, and thinks he only has hours left... she said she felt bad emailing me but didn't know anyone else who has lost a parent and wanted to know what to do to make it easier...

I hate that there is no advice... nothing that is going to make it easier... I told her that there was nothing I could say, nothing that would make it easier. I told her that losing her Dad would be the hardest thing she has ever done... I told her to hold his hand... and that it might help to give him permission to die... helpful to her, to have a way to say good bye... and helpful to him... I told her to call me anytime... that for me, it was nice to have someone who had also lost a parent to talk to...

People often say... Everything happens for a reason... It makes me shake my head... there is no sense I can make, still, about Mom's death... and there is nothing I can offer to a friend who is about to lose her dad that will make it any easier... no lessons I can share...

Yuck.