Birthday with my Mom...

Some people like fanfare for their birthdays. I have never been on of those people. And since my mom died, I have disliked recognizing my birthday... not because I am getting older.. because as my mom used to say, getting older is better than the alternative... ironic saying she had, huh? ... Recognition of my birthday means recognizing the absence of my mom... just like Mother's day does... so... low key is good for me. Today was the perfect low key day.

After kayaking yesterday I left my kayak loaded... and decided that I was going to go for a solo paddle today. I could have probably found someone without mother's day plans and had a paddling partner, but I really wanted some time alone, on the water, in my kayak... that used to be Mom's kayak... Originally I thought Matt and I were going to do something for my birthday because he kept saying that we would celebrate my birthday ON my birthday... but... if we had celebrated it would not have been until the end of the day because of his work schedule. So today as I was paddling... I realized that today really isn't that different now that I won't be having dinner with Matt... Chances are that I would have gone on a solo paddle this morning regardless...

So... I looked on my map this morning and decided I wanted to go paddling someplace new. I located a public boat landing that was in one lake and it looked like there was a stream or short river that connected that lake to another pond, and decided that would be a cool place to explore.

I got to the boat landing, expecting a parking area and large boat launch, but what I found was a very small ramp into the water off the main road and some wide shoulders on which I could park. There was another truck parked there... and I managed to get everything unloaded. It was pretty breezy and chilly and I almost reconsidered my decision to go. But, really wanted to kind of pay triubte to my mom, and decided I would just go for a little while see what happened. I wore several shirts, in layers, so that I could be warm enough no matter the temperature, even though I wore shorts.

The lake I started in was very choppy..... and I knew from looking at my map, the stream that connected the two ponds was close by... so I decided to go there, and if the wind didn't stop and the water was just as choppy, I would do a u turn and go home. Once I got away from the open water, the wind died down and it was warmer, and the water was calm. Ahhhh... Not long after that I saw this:

Since I was solo and I had never done this waterway before I was a little nervous, not knowing what was on the other side. But I listened to see if the current seemed too strong or if there was maybe a raging waterfall on the other side. It appeared pretty safe, so I went through the tunnel. (And of course, being my analytical self... recognized that sometimes to enjoy things, you gotta take risks... in this case, it was a pretty safe risk to take.)

The stream was filled with life! Birds, TURTLES - I have never seen so many turtles in one place, chipmunks, squirrels, and the plantlife was emerging. I want to come back to this place in a couple of weeks, just to compare the flora and to see how much it has grown.

This little bird came out of the shore and hopped along the logs in the water.


This was my first turtle sighting of the day. Four turtles on one log! I love turtles. It was cool to see them all clumped together like this. Of course they all dove into the water as I got closer.



This woodpecker was quite noisy and seemed to be quite happy with his tree of choice.


Ferns. My mom loved ferns. She loved kayaking along the river where she spent her summers and seeing all the ferns. Their color and shape was beautiful to her. I saw these ferns, past the fiddlehead stage... and can't wait to see them opened up. The next picture is just some grass, but... I like it because you can really tell it is spring... the new green grass, coming up through the dead leaves of last year's spring...




A peeking turtle! This guy caught my eye because of the yellow of his shell. It almost looked like the sun was shining through it. It is interesting to me that these creatures are so acutely aware of everything in their environment.

This guy let me get so close to him! I was tempted to grab him up and hold him, but just as I got up the courage to do it, he dove into the water.


This Canada goose was swimming around... I believe getting some food for his mate, who you will see at the end of the post. I thought it was cool that the turtles did not jump off their log when this guy swam by, but when I got close... splash!


Just another painted turtle... there were sooo many, I was excited to see them. Mom and I never saw many tutrles when we were kayaking, but a few of the turtles today startled me a little. Causing a splash as they returned to the water before I knew they were there. It reminded me of kayaking with Mom in Tadpole terrace and how she would laugh at me when I would scream a little when the tadpoles would get spooked by my kayak and in groups, would jump out of the water...


There were some chipmunks along the banks of the stream. I did not realize they liked being near the water so much. They were so busy... filling their cheeks. Mom loved the little chipmunks...


I think the turtles were happy to see the sun today too. At this point I was so warm I had taken off all of my shirts except my tank top. And yes, Mom, I had on my sunscreen!


How did this turtle get up that high? He was up in the air like 4 or 5 feet!


I HAD to take a picture of this sign... Not all hazards are marked... use caution. True true true... Matt had no markings... Mom would have gotten a smile out of that!

The stream emptied out into this pond. It looked very inviting and I think I probably could have paddled around it for a while, but I had already been exploring for almost two hours, and figured the friend I had told where I was going, may worry if I was gone for too long... but.. I will come back here and paddle around it.

This really reminded me of Mom... She loved kayaking along the shores and looking at the roots of the trees. It's hard to see it here, but there was a lot of moss along the ground between the roots, and it looked really peaceful somehow. Mom would have taken a picture of these roots.

Today I really enjoyed just looking through the trees and looking on the floor of the forest. There are so many things coming up through the dead foliage. I also like the shadows.

The water was pretty clear. I had gone to explore one of the logs in the water, hoping to see more turtles and I noticed this fish in the water. I could see its fins moving, but it was not moving. I am not sure what kind of fish it is, but it stayed still enough for me to get three or four pictures.

Ahhh... Here she is... On my way into the stream I almost did not see this goose sitting on her nest, but I caught a glimpse of her. I did not stop to take good pictures on my way in because there was a boat not too far behind me and I didn't want to draw their attention to her. You never know whether or not people respect nature. But I knew she would be there on the way out and I cautiously turned the corner where I knew she would be and got some good pictures. She was beautiful. She sat so still, protecting her eggs. (I did not see the eggs of course, but I am certain they were there.) So elegant, this mama goose... I also like the awakening ferns around her. As I paddled away from her, I thanked her for letting me see her, for letting me take her picture and told her how beautiful she is. Yes, out loud. This, for me, is church...

After kayaking I returned home and went for a walk with my friend, Suellen. She is a good friend. She understands why my day being low key was important to me.

Some people may look at today and think it is sad that I spent the majority of the day alone... To be honest, it was a relief... to not have to talk to people about how hard the day is, how emotional... how much my mother meant to me and how the absence of my relationship with her is, at times, overwhelming. I didn't have to act in a way that did not reflect how I was feeling.. and however I was feeling... I felt... and to my surprise... I found some happy things, that reminded me of Mom. Kayaking today, looking closely at the nature that was around me, taking time to really explore it, looking at it... smelling the fresh air and the beginning scents of the pine trees... I saw and felt my mother everywhere... and I felt like we got to spend our birthday together. Best Gift I could have received.