My Massage...

I forgot to mention, in my last post, that this long week also included my regular chiropractic appointment...I am pleased to say that my back did pretty well during thanksgiving, including driving... but this week it had begun to get a bit tender... I think partly because of my inadequate sneakers...

My adjustment went well, but she noticed my lower back was tighter than usual.  Following my adjustment I usually get a 30 minute massage to work on whatever is ailing me, often my lower back and hamstrings... The girl that does it knows my tender spots and always helps.  Well... she was sick.  So they had someone filling in for her.  This had happened once before and they had another woman fill in for her and that woman was okay, but a little too... aggressive with her deep tissue techniques... This week, the substitute was not her... it was a guy... which, to be honest, made me a little tentative... I have never had a professional massage from a man... but... I knew my back needed it, so I went with it.  (Must add here, that because it is at my chiropractor's office, I stay completely clothed!)

I have to admit that the guy was someone who did not give me a great vibe, kind of nervous... but thinking he probably was nervous filling in, meeting people he had not massaged before... So I laid on the table, face down. Here is a picture of a similar massage table as the one I was on:

 He asked if I was comfortable and I said yes, thinking, well... as comfy as I can be I suppose... Usually I keep my eyes closed because usually I am relaxed... so I closed my eyes.. and then it began.  The massage.  Well... At first I was not so sure it was as much a massage... he whisked his arms up and down my body fast with making minimal contact... fast up, fast down, repeat repeat... It felt like he had a feather duster and was flitting away dust off a book shelf.. but because his whisking along all my curves I truly felt like maybe he thought I was possessed and was getting rid of the evil spirits..so it wasn't as much a massage as it was  a kind of aura cleansing or bad spirit/mojo removal. I opened my eyes and I am sure furrowed my brow a bit... had there been a camera positioned on the floor looking up at my face I am sure my face clearly was saying, "What the hell was that?"  But keeping an open mind I figured he just had his own style... so again, I went with it.  He was not doing any harm... I looked at the floor wondering if there was a hidden camera there trying to catch my reaction that would later be posted on candid camera or perhaps the Ellen Show... He continued.  With a bit more pressure he rubbed my shoulders and I thought, okay.. this is better... he does know what he is doing... then he worked his way down my spine and that was okay too.. not great, but okay... Now... for this next part . He then, while standing on my left side, put his hands gently on my left side, kind of between my side and my back one hand kind of close to my arm pit and the other closer to my hip.  And he pushed me a little... almost rocking me.. I did not wonder if he was trying to see if he could push me off the table although maybe he was... but I have no idea what he was doing... he repeated it and in my head, I had an image... of a man, standing by a counter looking next to a large bowl of jello and then begins tapping the side of the bowl to see how the jello moved then pushes the bowl harder... I felt like the jello being pushed back and forth... and again, opened my eyes and wondered what he was doing... he then reached over my back and put his hands on my right side and pulled me towards him in the same way... since when is jello shaking part of a massage? Ha!  I almost laughed out loud. He kept going.  Next he took his hands, in fists... and tapped up and down my back and legs.... I have seen this method of massage before so didn't give it too much thought.  Then, he lifted my left leg, using my ankle, just lifted it up a little, then lowered it and repeated it with the right leg.  Then took one ankle in each of his hands and crossed my legs right over left, then left over right, just my lower legs... criss cross criss cross, legs down... legs up, criss cross criss cross legs down.. repeat... another What the?  moment... then he lifted my right leg, again using my ankle and lifted it up pretty high, then down, then bending my knee, pushed my ankle forward towards my BFA, aka, behind... ok, I thought, stretching my lower back, that kind of makes sense... but then he brought it back then knocked on my heel with the hand that wasn't holding my ankle...then repeated it with the other leg... knock knock... knock knock...he then put my leg down... and concluded the 'massage' with another feather duster exorcism. I seriously expected Ellen Degeneres to come in and tell me I was part of her practical jokes segment, but, nope.   It was funny... I am sure my facial expressions would have been pretty funny to watch...

At the time I didn't think it was a big deal, that he was not doing any harm...and found humor in it...But, since the massage, my back has felt worse than it did before the appointment...  I don't think his method of massage is one that worked for me.  My next appointment isn't scheduled for two weeks, but after that appointment I am going to have to go back this week I expect... and will tell them I will have a massage with my regular person and that I won't be charged for it.  I will tell them I think he did more harm than good...

So it reminded me of a clip that I had seen a long time ago, when I was a kid, and I finally found a video of it on youtube... check it out:
Massage Video