Dumb Jock?

So... today was an interesting day.  One of the kids in my homeroom had a rough day.  He's the boy who I have described before.  He is a bigger kid for his age and is a football player.  His reputation precedes him... when I was given the list of who would be in my homeroom this year, several teachers chuckled telling me, "Good luck with that kid!"  Can he be a pain? Yes.  Do I get frustrated with him? Yup.  But... he has a huge heart.  He wants so badly to fit in, to belong, to be good at something.... which is why I think he loves football so much.  He is good at it, his team and coaches depend on him and I believe he likes knowing people believe in him, trust him... I will be the first to say, well maybe the second, because he would be the first to say, that he could do better in classes, work wise and behavior wise.  He processes things a little slowly so if a teacher is talking and a classmate says something that is kind of funny, he reacts later than others do and sometimes teachers interpret that as being disrespectful.  He is also loud, one of those people who doesn't mean to be loud, but is.. So a lot of people see him as this:  

Even when he walks into a classroom... 

I see This:  

A kid.  A kid in big kid clothing... acting tough.  

He has cried with me twice this year.  (Today was the second time.)  

The first time was when one of his teachers told him that it was obvious he didn't care about his grades, that he made no effort, and that he wanted to fail the class.  Yes, a teacher said that to a student.  (Not surprisingly, one of the teachers who I confronted after the whole showing the Jungle Book on 9-11!)  This kid came to me and told me about this. Together he and I wrote an email to that teacher.  (I wanted documentation and wanted the kid to feel empowered.)  The email said that he was upset by the conversation had that day, that he does care about his grades but that sometimes in class he isn't sure what the teacher is talking about because it doesn't seem to be what the readings are about.  He said he knows he can be loud but that he doesn't mean to be.  he told the teacher he didn't mean to be disrespectful, but that he really doesn't understand at times whether or not the teacher is being serious or not, citing the fact that when asked a question the teacher shakes his head yes and says no, or shakes his head no and says yes... (which I have seen the teacher do)... He asked at the end (with a lot of coaching, because he wanted to give up, asking me what the point was)  what he could do to improve his performance in that class, asked for some tips on strategies to use. Oh, and I had the student copy the email to me.   Did the teacher respond to this student?  Of course not, which is what I expected.  However we did get a response.  The teacher's wife, the other teacher I confronted back in September, came marching into my room and told me that she hoped I was not falling for this student's 'little act.'  She said if the kid spent as much time doing his homework as he did writing the email he should be passing his class.  That his language arts grade (her subject) should also be higher.  I stopped her in her tracks when I told her I had sat with him to construct the email, that I encouraged him to email the teacher... "Well," she said, " I just don't want you to fall for his act.  He is not trying, he is disruptive in class.  He doesn't want to do well, he wants to be the class clown."  I responded, "Well, he has been pretty upset about it, and I think he does want to do well."  

How does this kid have a chance in either of their classes? Even if he makes an effort, even if he studies, will they recognize it? Nope.  Proof: He got his highest test score of the year in his social studies class last week, very much passing, which will also make his grade go up so that he is passing for the quarter.  Did he get any recognition? Nope.  Any gesture of reinforcement? Nope.  

OK.. fast forward to today.  He attends a class that is located next to my classroom.  In that classroom the teacher is a yeller... every day she yells at various people, but often I hear her yelling the name of this particular student.  This is his second year with her, getting help in a specific subject (He is not in special education, by the way.)  and last year she would yell at him as well.  I have had some concerns about her classes for a while because there seems to be a lot of yelling and not a lot of teaching.  Even when it is quiet in there when I stop in, kids are not engaged in the subject for which they are in that class.  

Sidebar: I have involved him in my incentive program and have encouraged him to talk with his teachers about what his goals are each week... the other day I asked him to go ask this teacher a question.  As soon as he walked in, without saying anything, she told him to get our of her room.  He told her (And I could hear the conversation) that I had asked him to ask her a question. She told him to ask his question quickly and then get out of her room.  

Well today, in her classes, there was not much going on.  It is the last week before vacation and we are all guilty of being a bit lax... all day I had heard her tell kids that they would have a study period today.. and not long after being in that class I heard the name of this student being yelled.  As the class ended for lunch, (This class reconvenes after lunch)  the teacher opens up the door between our classrooms holding up a detention slip as if it was a badge of honor, with a big smile, and said, I gave our buddy a detention, he just went too far.  I was responding to some emails and didn't even look up.. not sure what to say.  Then headed downstairs to see if I could find this kid.  I found him.  In the office.  He was sitting in a chair waiting for the asst. principal.  I asked if he was okay and his eyes filled with tears.  I asked him if he wanted to talk and he shook his head no and covered his face with his hands.   At that moment the Asst. Principal came out and asked him into her office.  I asked if I could come along as his homeroom teacher/advisor.  The asst. principal asked him if he wanted to tell me what had happened... and he looked at me and started crying harder, saying he couldn't tell me right then... She told the student what the teacher had said.  He was in trouble for calling a girl stupid.  He started crying harder... the kind of crying I do.. hyperventalating crying while trying to talk.  He said that he did call her stupid, but it was after she had told him that he should get detention in a scene he described as... difficult.  He had done something that the teacher did not like and the teacher threatened him with detention and opened it up for discussion, whether other kids thought he deserved it.  And other kids voiced their opinions.  If a student deserves a detention, give him/her a detention.  Do NOT open it up for class input.  Classrooms are supposed to be safe places for kids, and yes, in my mind, safe means knowing where the lines are and knowing there are consequences when those lines are crossed... But.. it is not safe allowing kids to turn on each other especially when the teacher is directing that emotion.  

During the conversation with the assistant principal I tried to not throw the teacher under the bus, but wanted to support the student who has talked to me about that class and his frustration with it.  And he knows, and I shared today in front of the asst. principal, that I know he can do better, behaviorally, that I see him in homeroom getting out of control at times and having to give him consequences... but... I also said that I think there could be a conversation between this student and the teacher about the need for a clean slate.  

I am not a wishy washy kind of a teacher.  I have high expectations for the kids, especially behaviorally.  the kids know it.  But I am fair.  (like today.. kids working on an assignment on their computers wanted to listen to music at the same time... and I said that in order to have the use of their headphones they had to sing a Christmas song for every ten minutes they wanted to use the headphones.. That's fair!  Not to mention entertaining!) 

Bottom line, I have concerns about the intervention program this teacher is running.  There is little structure in a class that needs it.  There is little remediation happening.  Kids are supposed to be there for 6-8 weeks to get a high dose of a specific skill then return back to the regular setting... I have yet to see any kid in there return to the regular setting.  The kids in her class remain there... all year.  This kid, this is his second year.  

After talking with this student's parents, they opted to take him out of the class  (Which is an option because it is not required...)  citing the personality conflict that has existed with this teacher.  The question then became, where will this kid go during that period?  (It is offered at a time in the day where there are electives happening, gifted & talented services are offered,  or special ed. services, or other interventions,... so he had been going ot his regular math class, then getting an additional period of math each day... so without the extra  math period where does he go?)  The best thing for him, will happen.  He will be in the classroom of his math teacher.  (Who has also had some HUGE concerns about the class this student had been in and has expressed that to me many times.)  So I think this will be a good change for him.  

I worry though, that the message he will receive will be: when a situation gets hard, you get out of the situation, instead of working through it.  That being said... I think it is the right decision.  I think he needs to be in a different environment.  

In 8th grade, they are big kids.... some teachers focus on the big part... and I still focus on the kid part... just the way I see it.