A New Year...

2009.

I had a fun New Years Eve Day/night... I coached yesterday then had organized a bowling trip for the kids on the team, which was a lot of fun, then spent time with and saw the New Year arrive with some great people... Soon after midnight one of my good friends, Meg, called me. She said that she wanted to call me because she thought that of everyone she knows... she wanted me to have hope and love heading into 2009... She wanted me to know that she's my friend and no matter how the year plays out, she is there for me. It was a nice call. It made me emotional... and brought thoughts that had been swirling around in my head very much to the surface. As best as I could, I tried to quietly leave the group of people I was with to have a moment... but my friends are good... and noticed. I felt like Debby Downer... knowing that a new year is suppposed to bring with it hopes of things to come...new opportunities, new beginnings... and I just can't seem to see how the current circumstances of my life can be spun in a way that can be seen as opportunistic or positively anticipated... I don't think of firsts... I think of lasts...

I am thankful for my friends and family...thankful that I have had support from people...and for the support I know I will receive in 2009.... but one word comes to my mind for this year... dread.