"People WILL stare.. make it worth their while."

You often hear about people having those moments where life makes sense, where everything is right in the world... a moment where someone embraces who he/she is, the good and the bad... you never know when those moments will happen... but I think perhaps I had one of those moments this weekend... A friend of mine was in town on Friday... someone I love spending time with, someone that has the ability to make me feel at ease and comfortable easily... someone I trust in a way I trust few people... I trust that no matter where we are, what we are doing, I am safe because he is there to 'protect' me... he hates when I tell him that because he knows I don't need protection... but when I say that to him, what I mean is that because my life is as it is, I have to be in control 99.9% of the time.  Being single I am responsible for all aspects of my life, me, just me...I always need to know where my keys are, my wallet, and my phone... and without them I feel anxious because they are things that help me keep and maintain control...  I am rarely able to relax enough to not think about those things.. but with him, I don't worry... I don't check my phone, I don't worry about my wallet or my keys... I just enjoy.... Friday was no different... He picked me up and we went to a local spot to play some pool and ping pong...at  both of which I fail miserably!  but it was a fun way to catch up and have some laughs.  From there we went to a local place, one of my favorite spots, for dinner, but they had changed their menu and nothing there sounded appetizing, so we sat at the bar for a drink and then walked to another restaurant.  The Christmas lights were so pretty and it was nice to have someone to share it with.  After dinner we walked around a bit. In previous visits we had seen this dive bar and had joked about going inside, but never had... until Friday. Before going in my friend had said ot me, if you get uncomfortable we can leave at any moment.  I already knew that, but it was nice for him to say.  He knows that sometimes when I go out, people are less than respectful to me, due to my height... but with him, I never worry about it... We walked into this place not knowing what to expect... and interesting isn't even close to describing this place...I had wagered that there would be animal heads on the wall... I was wrong... it was a little hole in the wall place, maybe 10 stools at the bar and a few tables parallel with the bar with maybe 10 more seats... it was narrow... had a jukebox (Not the old school jukebox, but one that hangs on the wall and costs $1 per song.)  The music was playing, some country stuff mixed in with some blues and rock n roll... the crowd was... eclectic... to say the least... age range from probably 23 to 60+, and much to my surprise, some racial diversity as well.  as we walked in, everyone looked up and with my height, 6'6", with my three inch heeled boots I was wearing, I kep their attention.  One man, probably in his late 50s was obviously enjoying a few drinks, immediately came over to me... He told me his name, Smitty I think it was, and asked me mine, took my hand and kissed it saying it was a pleasure to meet me.  My friend watched me and my reaction, I could tell he was gauging my level of comfort, but this man was harmless... I have had people approach me in ways that are rude, this guy meant no disrespect.  After he let go of my hand he welcomed us to this place and kind of acted as the ambassador of this place... close behind him was another gentleman, I think he had cerebral palsy and loudly said, "Wow you are big for a girl!"  I agreed and my friend and I went to the bar to order a drink.  The bartender, a woman probably 65 or so, called us "Hun" and welcomed us to their place.  Next to us at the bar there was a group of people playing Jenga.  The group included the ambassador, who, by the way, had a tape measure on his belt... perhaps he had been at this bar since he left work that day...a younger black man, close shaven hair cut,  wearing black skinny jeans, black sweater with a white button down shirt underneath... wearing buddy holly glasses... and a few others... The Ambassador kept coming over to us and talking to me... looking at my friend and I trying to figure out the dynamic between us... in between his visits my friend asked if I had noticed his tape measure and I said yes, because I had heard them bantering about the highest height they had been able to get the jenga stack to that night... 15 1/2 inches... and I told my friend that I predicted that before we left, the ambassador would ask to measure my height... he didn't believe me... as we sat there, an couple probably in their 60s came in, apparently regulars... and my friend and I gave up our seats at the bar for them to sit down... As I stood up again, I had a few of the women, regulars, approach me and tell me about their children, their heights, including how long each of their children were at birth along with their birth weights... proud of their children... and happy, for whatever reason, to share that with me.  Anne Murray's song, "Could I have this Dance," sang from the jukebox and the older couple began dancing... and the ambassador came to me to ask me to dance... I exchanged looks with my friend to let him know I was okay, and I danced.. with the ambassador, his callused hands trying to spin me on the minute dance floor... he was laughing and smiling... and enjoying himself... and I was enjoying myself as well... and eventually, he asked how tall I was... and I told him it had been a while since I had been officially measured... he immediately knew he could solve that...found a place on the wall for me to stand... got out his pencil and tape measure and climbed onto a barstool, in his words, for accuracy so he could see the top of my head... and insisted I take off my heels... so I did, took off one boot and stood there, in a dive bar, on one stocking foot, and let him measure me... he then, gathered some of the other regulars to help him pull the tape measure to the floor and then called out my height "6 feet 6 and one quarter inches!" to the bar and it was a moment where the announcement was a thing of honor... the people in that bar were so curious about my height... they inquired about my height, but in a way that was oddly embracing... that my height was a reason for celebrating... and in that moment, I looked at my friend and smiled...because... while people there reacted to my height... in ways that have in the past, annoyed me, they had no malintent... meant no harm... and I learned that instead of them judging me, negatively, which I admit I had anticipated...(Because I have had a lot of experiences in which people can truly be asses, I often anticipate people will be asses....)  I was judging them... before entering that bar, I assumed that it would be redneck... that it would be filled with smokers and ignorance... (most everyone there was smokers...) but I had misjudged... My lesson there, was to stop assuming... assuming that when people make comments about my height it is with negative connotation... in that bar because I was so at ease and comfortable, which I partly credit to being with my friend with whom I am maybe my most confident... even if there had been negative connotations, it wouldn't have bothered me... and that if people do have negative things to say... I need to just turn it around, to be who I am, and let them think what they want to think... while I know it is not my job to make other people comfortable with my height... there are times where my defensiveness about it, as I anticipate rude reactions... probably heightens (no pun intended) increases people's discomfort...My friend told me that watching me in that bar, being confident and 'humoring' the people there with, as he said it, grace, was fun to watch... me being me...  So with that lesson so newly learned... Saturday I invited a few friends over to my place... but only one was available... a friend from high school, recently divorced... and herself, fairly tall at 5'11... we decided to go out.  We had agreed that we didn't want to be in the clubs where the twenty somethings were spending time... so we went to one place for dinner, a hole in the wall restaurant with great food and a relaxed atmosphere... from there my friend was curious about some of the other bars in town because while she lives only 20 minutes away, she has not spent much time downtown, and less time at the bars.. but in her words, she "has heard stories" about many of the places... so... we ended up at one of the pubs that I really enjoy... a place where there is plenty of room at the bar as well as long tables with benches.. the type of place where you sit at the table with complete strangers if there is room for you or vice verse... I told her that I wouldn't want to stay there too late because it would fill up, get crowded, and the twenty somethings would be running rampant... often the age group who are the least respectful to me... the age group who try to stealthily take my picture to share with their friends... but when we arrived it was fairly empty and we found a couple of seats at the bar.  She was asking me questions about the place and I told her that they used to have cribbage boards out for people to play and we asked the bartender if there was a board around... and there was.. so we sat at this bar playing cribbage... and watching the other people who were also enjoying the pub... and the place started filling in.. including a group of about a dozen Irishmen... whose conversations and accent we could easily overhear.  They were on the opposite side of the bar from us and I admit there were a couple of them that were kind of cute.. but nobody that really caught my attention... they kept an eye on us and we kept an eye on them... then... one of the men in their group stepped toward the bar, I had not seen him at first, and he was adorable.  Perhaps the oldest in the group, definitely the shortest at probably 5'7" and the most handsome... I kept my eye on him and my friend and I were talking about him... and we caught his eye... and then it was one of those moments where they were watching us and talking about us and we were watching them, talking about them... I told my friend I have been trying to be more outgoing.. in that I have been trying to approach people to say hello more than I usually do, to see if I can open some social more doors for myself...because of my new job I feel like I can't socialize with my staff and am feeling like I want to start branching out... so... I told her, out loud, because studies say if you say your intentions out loud, to someone, you are more likely to do them... "If when we leave, he is still standing there, I am going to lean down to him and tell him he is adorable." ...... So... as the bar got more and more crowded... I decided it was time to leave... and we walked out, in a way that forced us to walk by the pack of Irishmen... and as promised I leaned down, whispered in his ear, "You are adorable."  And began walking away... he responded with a great smile and said, "Then why are you leaving?"  We ended up staying for a bit, talking with these men... witty banter was exchanged... along with some stories that were obviously BS.... and the man I was talking to did not ask about my height... although some of his friends whispered into my friend's ear asking her my height... and telling her that I was the tallest woman they had ever seen... how impressive I was... Eventually, despite their charming Irish accents, they bored me and I asked my friend if she was ready to leave.  They asked us to meet up with them later, but we told them we were unavailable... So... without worrying about his judgement of me, I approached him... a man close to a foot shorter than me... to tell him he was adorable... I had no intention other than telling him that... I did not want anything else to happen... and again, it was a lot of fun...
I must say here that Rico... has been telling me exactly this for years... that men do not automatically think my height is a bad thing, that many, if not most,  probably enjoy it... and that the assumptions they make are that I would not be interested, that they would be too short for me... maybe he has been right all along...

So... the title of this post... "People will stare..make it worth their while" is a quote my friend who was here Friday sent to me, saying he had seen the quote yesterday and made him think of our experience at that dive bar.  Yes, people do stare at me... will stare at me... because of my height... my job... is to be me... to enjoy being me, in every moment... and see what happens...