8/09/2011

Proud to be part of her legacy...

I am a very lucky person... I got to grow up knowing all of my grandparents... not only did I get to know all of them, I got to have close bonds with each of them.  Today, my grandmother, my father's mother, passed away... I know that losing her is hard on all of us who love her so much.  It is hard to say good bye to such an amazing lady.  She lived for 93 years and during that time married my grandfather, had four children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and a great great grandson... She was the matriarch of our family, no doubt about it.  This is a picture of her, taken at our Thanksgiving dinner last fall.  She and her two sisters were singing the song "Side by Side." She worried a lot about all of us, and was so very proud of us, for all we have done and who we are. 

We lost my grandfather in January 1999 and I was convinced that after losing him, my grandmother would die of a broken heart.  Since then she has lived alone, in their house and, for the most part lived pretty independently.  Of course she got some help from her kids, especially Donna and Sharon who would deliver her mail, take her to her appointments, and would make sure she had what she needed.  Today, when Dad called to tell me she was gone.. I knew it when the phone rang.  I woke up in the night last night feeling unsettled and immediately thought of calling the place where she had been staying, wanting them to check on her... but talked myself out of it as I thought I had been dreaming or something... My dad was with Grammie when she died... and in a strange way, I take comfort in that.  I hate that Dad has seen so much death, so up close and personal, in the last few years, but... as it worked out Dad  had been away this weekend, camping... honoring what Grammie and his siblings wanted him to do.. and I know that had Grammie died before Dad got to see her again, there would have been some guilt for him... and maybe she knew that...
 


 Grammie had not been happy to be at the facility at which she had been for the last few weeks... we all knew this and all also knew that getting her home would not be possible...I chatted with one of my cousins online the other night and she had been to visit my grandmother on Sunday I Think... and Grammie had told her she wanted to die, that this was no way to live...

I am not a religious person... Grammie was... but I do believe that our spirits can stay around after we die.  I truly believe that my grandmother has been reunited with her true love, my grandfather... and I can see him smiling as he takes her hand... She has missed him so much... she told me that when I saw her in July at her house.   

This is a picture of a picture I have at my house.  I can't remember who gave it to me... maybe from Mom and Dad at Christmas one year, or maybe my sister took it... After visiting my grandmother at her house... she would ALWAYS watch us leaving through the porch window at her house.  She would stand there waving and smiling as we drove out of her long driveway.  I would always look for her in that window... Good Bye Grammie... I love you and will miss you...


P.S.  My aunt Donna sent me an email tonight... on Sunday she had written on Grammie's white board (because she couldn't hear) that I had an interview on Monday and Grammie said, "I hope she gets the job."  Thanks Grammie... Me too... I know how much you loved the work I do... I will continue to make you proud...


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