It is cruel.

I told her to cal her doctor... or to tell her husband to call her doctor... to see if she could get a prescription for sleeping medication... she needs to sleep and her head will keep her awake... she will go through the motions in the next few days... and when she sees her father's face tomorrow... for the first time since.... she will fall apart... and she is scared her falling apart will cause him to have another heart attack or stroke... she had to call the staff at the nursing home where he is staying to be with him while he was told... in case he had a heart attack....I cannot imagine how hard that phone conversation was... how does a daughter call her father and tell him that her mother/his wife died? My friend called today to tell me her mom died this afternoon.  Not long ago she had been diagnosed with cancer and had surgery last week... after surgery there were complications and her body could not fight it...
When my phone rang... and it was my friend my heart lifted... thinking she was calling to let me know things had improved.... and then when I heard her... I knew... all I could say was I am sorry... that I am so sad for her... that I know how she is feeling and I wish I could offer her some wisdom or advice that would make it easier... but that I know there is nothing anyone could say that would make it better... she said she lost her best friend today... and I get that... her relationship with her mom is much like mine with my mother... and I know the void this creates for her... her life today changed... without her approval...without her consent... it got turned upside down... and will never never be the same... she said it was supposed to be her... that cancer took... not her mom... as she is fighting her own battle with the big C...  but I know her mom could not have survived losing her daughter...
She said she knew I would understand... and at one point apologized because she was sure it triggers things for me... she had no reason to apologize... I am grateful... that she chose to call me, to talk to me... and I hope she calls me in those wee hours when her head is spinning and she is crying so hard she cannot breathe or see... I am going to visit her...call her often... and not take no for an answer when I invite her to dinner...

It is cruel... for the universe to cause so much pain... and it is cruel to cause that pain and not allow someone to heal and offer relief to someone else experiencing that same pain. 

It is just cruel.