I have PVNS: Dear Mom...

Hey Mom, Today was one of those days that I wold have called you on the phone to tell you all about it. It was a GREAT day overall, with a couple of glitches... But the good far outweighed the bad, that's for sure... Let me start with the Scholarships. I had the pleasure of being on a team that got to decide how to spend over $60,000... Splitting that money between five students... It was a tough decision, knowing how many kids are deserving. The scholarships had pretty strict parameters and many of the kids who first came to mind are kids who are attending two year schools, but the guidelines require a four year program... The parameters were: must attend our high school, must have financial need, who may be at risk of not attending due to the financial burden, and must be recommended by the committee consisting of the principal, asst. principal (that's me!) and at least one staff member. I immediately thought of a student I have known this year... Not as well as many of my kids, but, better than some... She was new to our school this year, moving here due to some family circumstances...living with a relative. She struggled when she first arrived because our school is so heavily dependent upon technology. Every student has a laptop and she had not used one before, let alone be required to use it to write and submit much of her work. It didn't take her long to catch on, but it stressed her out. She checked in with me often because she didn't understand how to access her grades online and wanted to make sure she was doing well... She always was.. Don't think I saw a grade for her this year any lower than an 86... In addition to doing well academically she joined a sports team each season and was a huge asset to her teams, not necessarily because of her athleticism, but because of her character and integrity and ability to support others. She is a quiet kid who does the right thing. When her grandmother died, she shared that with me, not for pity, but because, I believe, she didn't know who else to tell. She has overcome a lot this year and has been so so successful. She has done the right things... she will be amazingly grateful and humble when she receives it... She would be getting a $16000 scholarship, $4000 per year... The teacher on our committee agreed and the principal, admitted he doesn't know the kids went along with it based on my description... We chose four other kids as well, also very deserving and who will be very grateful.(each getting a scholarship worth $8000 or $16000) Later in the day the principal approaches me and the other committee member and said something about wanting to reconsider our decision... That this girl would be receiving one of the biggest scholarships in the community and it will be controversial if she is chosen... why? because she has not grown up in our community, she was new. I was taken aback to say the least... So what? We has been here this year and has epitomized what we want our students to be... I told him I didn't feel that should change our decision and he again said the decision may face public scrutiny. He asked for us to reconvene at the end of the day after thinking about it. I was livid. He is a man, supposedly an educational leader, worried about upsetting people to the point where he wants to sacrifice what is right for a student... So... I played the good little soldier and attended the meeting... And he again said.. This girl has not grown up in this community and it will be a source of controversy. Instead of saying to him, grow a pair... I asked to see the prerequisites for the scholarship.. I read them aloud... Student at our school, check. Student who is in financial need, check... And.. Student recommended by scholarship committee.... Check. Nowhere does it say must have lived in community for x amount of years... He quickly said, well it doesn't say on the requirements that the student should grow up here but it is understood. I asked him what changed his mind from the morning meeting to when he later saw me to ask me to reconsider... He had talked to the guidance secretary... Who is in charge of keeping the list of the scholarship recipients...The secretary... a lovely woman... A community member of many years... And, in my opinion, shows preferential treatment to kids going to Yale and Harvard... Who, in my estimation, probably had her own suggestion of who should receive it. So... I then said... I have never, in my career, favored decisions that were made for political reasons... I have always made decisions based on what I feel is best for and right for the kids. When we met earlier, we agreed she was a great recipient and I would be saddened if politics took that away from her due to circumstances that were not within her control. The other committee member backed me up, saying she agreed that it would be worth the risk and worth any backlash to do the right thing. He hesitated and looked down... Which means, in the language of the man who admit the doesn't know the kids to be able to give much feedback, he disagreed. So I paused.. I pointed out that each of the kids who had been chosen by us earlier that day, could be controversial... For one reason or another... That our decision would be making five kids and their families elated and making many families feel disappointed, that no matter what we decided, we would be scrutinized... And that we should not let that reality guide our decisions. He backed down. So...that was interesting... And a good lesson for me for when I do become a principal one day... (Not soon!) to do the right thing. Period.
The next cool part of the day was a special graduation ceremony... For five kids in one of our programs that houses some of our neediest kids. We had a nice ceremony and I got to see five amazing staff members each read something they had written about each of the graduates based on their personal connections. It was amazing. The staff put so much time into it, the speeches were articulate and touching. A couple of times they each had to pause to compose themselves, but kept going. I got a little weepy, knowing the kids and their relationships with these staff members. Then the kids had a chance to speak... Only three of them decided to talk... They gave speeches that were moving... About how the staff and the program were not school to them, but family. That they relate to the staff in different ways and that without them they wouldn't have made it... One of the kids lost her mom in January, it was hard... And her speech was about that, in part... And she read it ..all of it... I was glad she did because I was her back up... If she got emotional I was supposed to go in and finish reading it for her... Which I am not sure I could have done. Their families were there, their friends too... And it was nice. One of the graduates was a boy I think I wrote about here... Who started the year in the regular education setting but was not doing well... very angry... struggling with identity stuff... There was lots of work with him and his moms, lots of discipline... And in my gut I knew this program would work for him and I pushed it... And I am so glad I did. Both of his moms and their spouses/partners independent of one another, asked me to have my picture taken with him. In his cap and gown and thanked me... For having tough love... It was a fine moment... But perhaps my favorite part of the day... Or maybe it was the culmination of the other parts of the day was giving the book to one of my kids...
Now, Mom, I could not have done this without you... This kid, this girl... She is a great kid... She is a good sized girl, self conscious about her weight, and about her beautiful red hair... She dressed in baggy baggy clothes as a way to draw less attention to herself... She's a kid who I have told will wear heels by her senior year... If I have anything to do with it... And she laughs at that. She is a kid who I noticed early in the year... Sitting alone at lunch. I would always talk to her and we found some common ground,including, of all things, flip flops... We both love them! We joked about wearing them in the winter even... We talked about broadway shows... She was at the table where I sang some Les Miserables songs and made her laugh and feel embarrassed at the same time... (Yes mom, I sing sometimes with my kids... Kind of like you did, for any reason!) As the year progressed I began keeping in touch with her teachers, she was struggling and had struggled last year even more. Eventually we had a meeting to get some help... And learned that she was seeing a social worker for some significant anxiety issues.. Significant.. She attended the meeting... And it was probably the hardest thing she has ever done... But I was so proud of her as she sat in a meeting full of adults, her teachers, and explained, through tears, why school is so hard. How she worries constantly what people think of her... And puts so much energy into being invisible... The teachers were great with her, thanked her for her honesty and put some things in place to help her... One of her teachers now sits with her at lunch every other day and they play scrabble... Without keeping score... And an unexpected thing has happened... A couple of kids have asked to join their game... And this girl has given them permission... And she is getting friendly with them... She has begun, for about the last eight weeks or so, been staying after school with me each week to do homework...and her grades have improved... She may earn 5.5credits... Last year she earned 0...(went to summer school and got a couple).. So five and a half is huge!! Yahoo! And through conversations with her English teacher, for whom I am so thankful, I learned that this girl loves Stephen King. Loves his work... That her dream vacation... Is not going to Disney or the Carribean like most kids her age... Her dream... Is to have enough money to get her mom's car fixed so that they can drive to Bangor to have her picture taken in front of Stephen King's house... This kid is amazing... When I learned this I was excited.. I talked to her about having been to his house, well outside it at least... and about seeing him in the audience when I played basketball in Bangor because he was a huge supporter of local athletics... She loved talking about him.. And eventually she even started making some eye contact. In addition to the weekly after school sessions I bring her into my office weekly to touch base, to see how she is doing.. And the eye contact tang is huge for her. One night in the library I asked her if we could work on it and she agreed... At first I had to look at the bookshelf behind her and she would look at my eyes..for five seconds and then ten... And eventually, she agreed to full eye contact... And she did it! Due in part, I think, to Stephen King... I asked her what she would do if she met him... If she would be able to look him in the eye.. she said she wasn't sure, but that she would want to be able to... So we practiced... And we chatted.. Truth is.. For this kid... The after school sessions were more about her building a relationship with someone at school, that person happens to be me... And I think it has been working... So... Mom, this is where you came.. . I am sure you can anticipate how.. Remember that lady named J.?the one for whom you painted baskets? (Mom painted blueberries and loons and other things on the wide reed on these hand woven baskets that were sold at various palaces including LLBean.) Yes, her... The woman who, when not weaving baskets, is a personal assistant to Stephen King... I remembered that one Christmas you asked her for a favor, to get an autographed book for Sis's husband... And while him signing books was a rarity, J. Was able to get one for you to give to him.. So... I wanted to reach out to J. to see if she could help. I got in touch with Dad to see if he held onto her contact information.. He had! Thanks Dad!!! And I called her.
I explained who I was... Your daughter... And she remembered you fondly of course, who doesn't? And asked how Dad was doing... After catching up a bit I asked her if she was still working for Stephen and she said that she was.. So I prefaced the rest of the conversation, by saying, feel free to say no... And proceeded to tell her about this student... And asked if she thought she could get a personalized autographed book... She said she would see what she could do and asked me to send her an email with a description of the student... So... With parent permission... I did just that..
In the meantime... I had been talking to this student more about Stephen King.. What she would ask him, what she would want him to know about her... And it has become our little joke, like, hey, you talk to Stevie today? How's Steve-oh? And when I knew the date he was returning to Maine from Florida, I said to her, I hear Stevorama is returning to Maine today.. She laughed thinking it was funny.. She even hatched a plan where she and I would get to his house, somehow break through the elaborate security system she believes him to have only to sneak into his library to read his books... Too fun!
Last week the book arrived! I had hoped he would sign her favorite book, but even better than that... He signed his book entitled, On Writing... Which is something she loves to do! He personalized it, using her name, spelled correctly, and wished her the best... short and sweet.... perfect.
So then I had to figure out what the rest of my plan would be... I wants to get some kind of display case for her to hang it in... Because after she reads it I want her to keep it where she can see it...as a reminder that anything is possible... So... I bought this wooden frame thingy that can be hung on the wall... And I decorated it... With clippings from a magazine ... Clippings of things that reminded me of her or things I want for her... Flip flops to words like strength, and 'serve yourself well'... And glued them onto the frame/box thingy...I had shared this with a couple of people who know her, work with her... And one person, mentioned something to her that I had a surprise for her... Grrrr.. I was not pleased about that.. The woman is a social worker and said that the girl was struggling with some school issues and thought it would be helpful to say people at school care about you, like...your AP(assistant principal) has a surprise waiting for you... Well this actually caused the girl more anxiety... She was worried about what it could be... And I was annoyed that something that was supposed to bring her joy, brought her angst...
Today was the big day, the day I was going to present it... So.. I called her to my office,... Told her that I had heard she was anxious about a surprise I had for her... She kind of shrugged... I told her that I felt bad it caused her stress, because it really wasn't a big deal... That it was something I had hinted about with her before... And told her she has been awarded a scholarship to summer school so that she can earn some of the credits she was unable to earn last year... (Which is true... I am awarding that to her... And also wanted to throw her off the trail... If there was one... And take the pressure off, worrying about a surprise.)
Then.. After school, she came to our weekly study session and sat down and got started on the work... I alerted her scrabble partner, the school completion guy who runs the after school program with me, my secretary, and the other AP that I would give it to her... They all casually went into the library and stood around the librarian's desk... And waited. I came in carrying some stuff, like I usually do and greeted each kid, checking on what they were working on... Then approached the table where she sits, which is also part of my routine... We greeted me with a question about Stephen... As she called him today. She asked me if I knew that he and a new book being released today, she had seen him on the today show yesterday when she was home because her anxiety was to high to go to school... I told her I was unaware... then said.. Speaking of Stephen King books... And pulled out the book, wrapped in bubble wrap and some ribbon... Girly ribbon, because I am convinced there is a girlie girl in there somewhere... And she said, whaaaaaat? Puzzled... She awkwardly said thank you.. And said that she was surprised.. And kind of set it aside... Trying to end the center of attention role she hates... I said, well you gotta open it! She took the bubble wrap and ribbon off and began flipping the pages.. I told her to go to the page where I had left a bookmark.... And she opened it... and her face got so red and her eyes got so big... And she really did not know what to say... It was so cute! I knew she was uncomfortable, but think it was worth it.. That smile!! She just kept looking at it and said, he even spelled my name right! Yes, kiddo he sure did!! I then took some of the pressure off, walked away and talked to some other kids, and returned... Asked her how she was doing, and she looked down at the floor and said, I can't stop smiling. Which made me smile even more. So I sat down with her and she said she was excited because she had been wanting that book! that she just hadn't been able to get it yet. I told her that after she reads its he needed a place to keep it, a place that would keep it safe, and pulled out the frame/box thingy... And she smiled again... Looked at it all and just grinned... And she said, Ahhh flip flops! (Which were of course on the frame!). At that point I asked her if I could take some pictures of the frame and the book, and her... And she was a good sport. And it also gave us a chance to talk while I was busy doing something so it felt less direct for her I think... And she said... So this was the real surprise... I... She paused... Fumbled with her hands.. And said.. Today when you called me down... I ... Pause... to be honest... Well... Since we talk so much about Stephen King, there was part of me........ A very small part... That kind of hoped that your surprise would have something to do with him... I... I even thought maybe a book by him... But then I didn't want to be excited about something that I thought was impossible... So I just tried to not think about it, but it was so hard not to think about it. So I asked her if she had hoped for an autograph, and she said she never even thought that would be something that could ever happen... And I told her that the scholarship for summer school was real too, that she would not have to pay... And she said thanks... And I asked her... So... were you disappointed then, when I told you about the scholarship?... She hesitated, made her head movement trying to get her hair out of her face and look at me... (Eye contact!!!) and said... Well.. It's not that I am not grateful.. I am.. Summer school helped me last year... But.. If I am being honest... Yah, I was disappointed. Then... A big grin!
Mom, she just kept looking at it... and. A few of the other staff came over to see it...and she was so excited... Just kept smiling... I had written a letter to her too...(see below) and she read it with a lot of interest... And just smiled and thanked me... And as she was leaving today, after getting no school work done because of the excitement, which I am ok with... Took a moment to tell me again how thankful she was... And how she just couldn't believe it...
Some days, like today... Most days actually... I love my job!
So Mom... Thank you... For helping me make something happen for this kid... I wish you could have seen her... Seen how incredibly happy she was and moved...
Today, Mom, we would have had a lot to talk about... Love you...

Letter to student:

Dear Student,
This is an autographed book from Stephen King. Stevie, as you and I have been calling him, does not sign many books because he is humble and does not consider himself a celebrity. Growing up above Bangor I often heard about Steve-o's efforts to help the community. He built a baseball field, he supports a camp in Ellsworth, I think it is called Camp Jordan, and he was very active in community organizations. While he likes to help people he likes to do so without a lot of fanfare.
You, remind me of him in that way. You are a person who does the right thing, who works hard and doesn't expect praise for what you do. You are one of those kids who isn't in trouble and could easily go through high school being very much in the background. You seem to work hard at being invisible.... But what you do not realize is that you stand out... We see you...Not because of your beautiful red hair or your size, which you pay more attention to than anyone else does... You stand out because of your kindness, your sense of humor, your intelligence, your ability to connect with people on different topics...
You are one of those students who sits in class and the teacher really enjoys having there... But when the school year is over, you are also a student that haunts your teachers. I would bet that over the years many of your teachers have wished they had taken more time to get to know you, to listen to you, to support and encourage you... They wish that their energy had not been targeted on the kids who were disruptive so that they could have done better by you... I think you are a student that helps inspire our teachers to be better, to do better...
The people you let get to know you adore you. You make people smile. You matter.
As I have gotten to know you better I have been trying to think of something I could do to help you understand that people care about you and want you to do well and reach your dreams. When I learned that you were a Stephen King fan I thought perhaps I could have him inspire you... But I knew it was a long shot...

The indirect connection I have to Stephen King has to do with my mother. My mom died four years ago and I miss her a lot. She used to love hearing about 'my' kids, the kids I loved working with. If she were here I would tell her about you and about the light you have inside that is going to one day shine brightly enough for you to see.... So being able to have my mom help me get this book for you is very meaningful to me...
My mother was very artistic. She painted things and sold them at various craft fairs and shops and had some customers who came to her often. One of her frequent customers was a woman named J. J made baskets that have been sold at LLBean and other stores. J made beautiful baskets and she would bring them to my mom. Mom would paint images like blueberries or loons on the wide reeds woven into the basket. J, in addition to making baskets, works as a personal assistant for Stephen King when he is in Maine.
(That's how I knew he was coming back to Maine!) So... I got in touch with J and asked if an autographed book was possible. (She was horseback riding as I talked to her!) She told me to write an email to Stevie about you and send it to her. She would print it out and have it waiting on his desk when he returned.
With your mom's permission I told Mr. King about you, about this young woman who loves his books, who writes well, whose sense of humor is adored by her teachers and her assistant principal, who isn't always comfortable at school, and who could use a bit of inspiration... I told him you were working hard to do well in school, that you stay after school weekly to get work done, and that you were brave enough in a room full of adults, to tell people why things are hard sometimes.
Last week I got an email from J telling me that the book was on its way! I hope this is a book that you read and enjoy... And I hope you know that You mean a lot to us at at your high school, you make our days brighter... You make us look forward to coming to work. I am lucky that I am the assistant principal that gets to work with you for the next couple of years. I know that what you have shared so far is only a fraction of what you are about and I hope to learn more as we work together towards graduation!