Long Days in a Short Week

So today is the second work day of the week... but it feels like it should be Friday.  How can that be? It's been a long week already!  Let's see if I can even think where to begin...
I just tried to sum up what my days have been like... but... deleted it because it was too detail focused... I guess what I have been thinking about most is how much I am learning... growing... and nestling into this job, this community...how my role is evolving within the school... becoming more a part of things... I have gotten good feedback from people, unsolicited... telling me what kids are saying about me... the word people seem to be hearing most is: fair.  I like that.  The other thing I am hearing is that kids are talking about me... which the teachers say is new... I'm sure there is mixed feedback... I don't make all the kids happy... but I do try to work with them...

I forget, sometimes, that I am new to this job... not saying that I have all the answers, I don't even know all the questions.... but I feel like I know where I stand on things and know what direction I want to move in... and I am starting to be able to make some other inroads in ways that I had hoped to do, but wasn't sure how it would happen... Yesterday I met with the special education teachers and listened to them vent some of their frustrations and I know EXACTLY how they feel.. EXACTLY.  I am now in a position where I can try to implement changes for kids at a different level... I can clearly tell teachers that not providing accommodations is simply not an option.  Period.  I am also able to work with the special ed teachers in how they are writing their plans for kids and encouraging a higher level of specificity which will help me hold teachers accountable...  I like it...

The kids... are awesome... I have more and more kids who are seeking me out for carious things... I have a kid who is hard to read as far as why he has taken a liking to me... but I am glad that he has... he is a kid for whom I know a difference has been made.  He is a senior, was failing two of his classes when progress reports came out... I started meeting with him weekly and talking about his grades... and he ended up passing both of those classes... he also is participating in the group of seniors we are keeping after school weekly to get help on their work... and he is doing well.  I am working with students on probation, working with juvenile correction officers... and learning a lot about the system and its limitations...

I've talked to a student who came out... met with a parent of this student... and am trying to help them as they navigate this road... it is not my place to help them accept one another but... it is my job to make sure that at school, this kid feels safe, feels good, and is able to find success... Another student is really struggling with depression and talking to her today about her battle was emotional... to watch her struggling so much... to set up a daily check in with her to just let her know I'm there... is something I feel fortunate to be able to do... for so many kids high school is not a good experience... when I talk to kids who still have a few years of high school ahead of them and they feel so miserable... upsets me... I was so lucky that high school was a time for me where I felt very successful and very accepted... despite often being home alone on Friday nights... I had stable parents... I was lucky.. so many of these kids are not so lucky... I have meetings about students, about kids who are in crisis... and am grateful for the specialists who get involved.... who help... to whom I can direct kids... it does take a village...

I am in awe of the amount of things done in a day... decisions made, emails and phone calls exchanged...it's kind of crazy... I got to school today at 6:45 and left school tonight at 8:00... I had left to get dinner but returned to be part of an interview committee... tomorrow will be similar with another night of conferences...

The more I do here, in my job, the more invested I become... the more entwined in the culture and community...in the lives of these kids... and I just keep hoping that my focus, of what is best for kids, for each individual kid, stays clear... and I know as I get more invested, more involved... some things will get easier and others will become more difficult... I have those moments, sitting in my office with kids, where I think to myself... this is a moment that could change this kid... change their direction... and hope my instincts and training help them... help them accept themselves... each other... and help them see a future... that probably sounds egotistical on my part... or maybe cliche... but... it is a big responsibility...

I am so scattered tonight... I am not even sure if this makes any sense... or if it just ramblings.. but here it is...

Oh.. a few shout outs... to my new PVNS friend in Austrailia, hello!  To my Canadian friend recovering from surgery, keep up the PT!

To Michael, Wow... the prints of my photos look amazing and I can't wait to get them, and get them hung up in my bedroom!!!  Unbelievable!