Competitive much?

I am not sure where it comes from... but I am a competitive person... I like to win.  And while I can be a good sport, I do not like to lose.  Games... sports... whatever... I like to be in the winner's circle.  Where does that begin? Childhood.  I think about the ways in which I may have competed as a kid outside of board and card games... and I automatically think that maybe my sister and I competed... for? the attention of our parents? for grades? For accolades?

Sis and I were competitive, sure...I remember playing monopoly with her for hours... not because I wanted to play, but because she would not let the game end, even when I was out of money.  She would force me to take a loan from her and keep playing... to this day I hate monopoly... we played other games too, Payday.. Life... cards... my family, I suppose you could say, was a gaming family.

I remember being very young, at my Aunt Donna's house, sitting on someone's lap as we played "Pass the Trash," which when just adult play they call it "Screw your neighbor"...Each person is dealt one card with the hopes that in the end they are not left with the lowest card... I also remember watching my mom play canasta with one of her best friends, Belinda.  Before I was able to understand the rules, Belinda's daughter, Angela , and I would play canasta.. which would involve her pretending to shuffle and I would tell her she was cheating... even then I wanted to play by the rules and wanted to kick her ass.

I grew up watching my mom and grandmother playing Scrabble... canasta... Boggle... Yahtzee, and other games... including many card games...Dad would even get in on the action once in a while with cribbage... As we got older, my sister and I were allowed into the gaming circle... when we were stuck when playing scrabble, we were offered some ideas, but nobody ever really played for us... and we were never allowed to quit, no matter how far behind we were.  I remember some games were torture.. and I would be a brat and play two letter words to get through my turn as fast as possible...

Eventually, somehow... it became very competitive... and letting someone win or letting someone make a move that would benefit another player was in violation of our game codes.

I was thinking about all this... because last weekend's adventure included a lot of competition and I was victorious.. then tonight after work a bunch of coworkers all met to go bowling... and I was determined to win... I didn't.

I was encouraging other people to just have fun, to not worry about their scores, but I was very aware of whose scores were close to mine.  We had so many people there tonight, about 30 people from work which is amazing considering that not too long ago our staff did not want to associate with each other outside of work...  There was one man there, a husband to one of our teachers who was a varsity bowler in college and was pretty competitive... I think his final score was over 200... other than the Professional... there was one other coworker who was close to my score.. and in the last two frames... I choked.. and he beat me.. by 5 points!  Ugh!  It was fun to compete... and socialize with my coworkers... but... I don't think I would have had as much fun without the competition...

I think it is a good thing... for me.. has pushed me to do better... be better... and to go after what I want...