Fifteen two, fifteen four, and a crazy lady makes 6?

This post may be a bit scattered.. there are all kinds of things in my head including:

- Camping

-nephews

-grandmother

-Rico

-Jill

-kayaking

-dentist

-blog

So let's see what happens... ready?

I was talking on the phone the other day with my sister... and my nephews were in the background... my oldest nephew was trying to teach his brothers how to play cribbage... my dad and I taught him last summer and for Christmas I had given him a cribbage board and a deck of cards.. Oh how I love those boys...

I am sad to say that this summer I will most likely not be having my usual time with them this summer. With gas prices the way they are, driving 5 hours one way is tough... especially trying to make sure they each get one on one time with me... plus I am in the process of looking for jobs and while there are very few positions open right now, more could open, and I feel like I really need to make that a priority right now... and while I feel selfish doing that... I gotta look long term... and it would be impossible to do an interview if I had the boys... so... we'll see what happens. I remember time with my aunts... and my favorite times were when I felt like they saw something in me that was special, unique... and I try to make the boys feel that way... they are amazing people. My middle nephew had been growing out his hair.. for the last two years I think... because at his school, in the final days of the school year, there is a large assembly where students get their hair cut, in front of the entire school, and donate it to locks of love... and my middle nephew took on that challenge.. the longer hair suited him in some ways... and many people mistook him for a girl... it happened last summer when he was here with me and he shrugged it off, saying he knew who he was so it didn't matter if other people didn't know he was a boy... I love that about him...

I love that the boys were playing cribbage... I have so many happy memories of playing games in my family.. board games and card games... I think I learned a lot through those games... and playing them togther, gave us time... something I cherish...

I am trying to plan my weekend of camping... I am heading north... and along the way or on the way back, I want to see my grandmother and my aunt... I would also love to see my other aunt and my uncle, but they are not going ot be home... my grandmother was recently hospitalized... for a heart 'episode'... suspecting a mild heart attack... she has had something similar in the past... she is amazing.. 93 years old... and lives on her own... with the help of my aunts. I adore her.

I am exicted that I am going to see Rico this week! He will be in Boston for his job and we are going to spend the afternoon together. I am a little stressed about it, just because I have to get things done to get ready to go camping, but I think I can get that all done tomorrow... so by Thursday I will be relaxed and will be able to have fun seeing Rico! Then in a couple of weeks I will get to see Jill! YAY! It has been about two years since I last saw her, how crazy is that? time flies. (Jill please notice I mentioned your name THREE times... I know your ego will be pleased!)

In the meantime I have been finding time to kayak... yup.. went yesterday and today. It really is something I love. I would go tomorrow if I get everything done. I would love to see if the mother loon I saw recently has hatched her eggs... but... I may not get up there... but maybe I will... hmmmm... forgot I wanted to see if the loon babies have hatched... anyway... see how distracted I am?

So... I have decided that I need to keep this blog here... where it is... under its current name... (this may change of course...) My reasoning is that I have recently been contacted by a few other pvns sufferers who have come across my blog. I feel that I put this out there for me, but also because I was so frustrated by the lack of info about pvns... and my blog comes up in the search engine and if people can find it and take any comfort, then I think that is important. I have made some great connections with folks who have found me here...(hi Michael!) I am thankful for those connections... and want to keep going here... yes I know I could keep this one posted and start a new one.. and maybe I will... but... we'll see...

What else was I thinking about.. oh yeah.. the dentist..

I hate the dentist... okay, so not the dentist necessarily... I hate going to the dentist... the sounds, the smells... I hate it... as a kid we went to a dental clinic and the dentist there was the husband of my kindergarten teacher... and he was probably very kind.. but.. he looked like a mad scientist... I don't remember him being a bad guy, but over the years I developed some anxiety... and have neglected my teeth... until now... I chipped a tooth over the weekend... and was lucky to get into the dentist this morning... and will return tomorrow (was supposed to be in late July, but lucky me they had a cancellation!) for my new patient appointment... I am not sure how that will go... but... time will tell... I am sure there is a lot of work to be done. the dentist is a nice man... One of my friends recommended him. He is gentle... very gentle... as he injected the novicaine today he told me to take a deep breath so that it would not hurt as badly... and I did... after a few minutes he said... oh, you can exhale now... phew... I was pleasantly surprised that I did not feel judged while I was there, for my lack of recent dental care... At the end of the procedure to fix my tooth (involved removing an old filling and getting a new one)... I unclenched my fists... and my arm muscles were sore... I think I was clenching my hands tightly the entire time.. So... tomorrow I will be once again, in the dentist's chair... I hate the dentist.. did I mention that?

Well... I think that's it for now... at least for what is in the forefront of my mind... it may be a while before another post.. but know I am headed for my mountain... my moose... and can't wait!