Two years...

Two years...104 weeks.. 730 days...17,520 hours, 1,051,200 minutes... since my mom died... I am not trying to be dramatic by showing the time that has passed. I go back to thinking about how we got through things with mom... week to week, day to day, and as things got worse we went from one hour to the next... and then moment to moment... Two years in some respects doesn't seem like much... and in some ways it feels like she was here, just yesterday... but then... it seems like it has been forever since I last got to talk to her, to hug her, to see her smile... time is strange...

Today was, of course emotional for me... and I can't say that I did not wake up in the night last night and think about what today meant... but... it was also a day with many wonderful aspects... Since Matt and I both had the day off, we had been planning to spend the day together. The other day I had talked to Dad and assumed that he would be spending the day with is girlfriend, but then he told me that she was out of town, visiting her daughter. This meant that Dad would spend today alone. This day is no easier for Dad even though he has a girlfriend...I have been wanting Matt and Dad to meet... and it seemed like today would be a great day to make that happen... and so I asked Dad if he wanted to meet up with Matt and I for lunch and he agreed!

I was very happy about getting to see my dad today. And part of me wondered/worried that seeing him today would make me emotional... When we met up at the restaurant and I got out to give Dad a hug, I asked him how he was doing... He said he was doing alright until he read my blog this morning... I didn't mean to make him cry... never my intent with my blogging, but... he should also know, given the timing, that my entries may be a little... intense...

So Matt and Dad and I walked into the restaurant... and it was a very rare occasion, I was the shorty in the group! What? Yup. At 6'6" I was the shortest member of the group. Both Matt and Dad are 6'7" ... doesn't seem like a big difference, but...I am so used to being the tallest person in the crew! We had a good lunch and while Dad and I talekd about my hometown and people we know there, Matt did well staying engaged in the conversation.

I liked having Matt and Dad together today. It was a nice thing... a very nice thing. It's poetic really...

So Mom... Not a day passes where you are not on my mind... not a day where your absence is very much present... But we are living our lives... and moving forward... you have helped us with that... thank you. I love you.