Going over to the 'bad place;... ?

I got an email this week... from a man who has been in my life for many years... with whom there has been a lot of history... He is someone with whom at various points I have so wanted a more solid, definable relationship... but I am not in one of those places.  I enjoy things the way they are... We spend time together from time to time and in between visits we keep in touch via email.  The dynamic of things, as far as our communication, has changed a bit since I got my new job.  I don't email as often, I don't call back as regularly... not because of not wanting to do those things, but because life is legitimately busy...His contact has in some ways increased... at least in his initiation of contact.  Friends have asked if I think it means that he is wanting more of a solid thing... and I don't entertain that idea... because it's not a road down which I want to travel... again, I like where things are... and he is well aware that if he wants things to change... he would need to step up in big ways... but given a variety of reasons and circumstances that's not going to happen... 

Anyway...  the email I got from him on Friday morning said something like...I have sent you a few emails recently and while I don't expect an instant reply it is unusual to go so long between my emails and your response. I hope you are ok, I hope that you are just busy, swamped at work, that you haven't fallen ill or gone over to the "bad place!"  

It was the reference to a "bad place" that raised an eyebrow... 
What did he mean by the bad place? (Of course I asked him what he meant... and will be interested in his response....)  
So I wonder... what does he think that the bad place is? 

Sometimes I don't give him enough credit for remembering things... but he often does... so maybe the bad place... is the state that I tend to be in as April 18th approaches... as my mind focuses more and more about the day, the process that led up to, losing my mom..

Does it mean the place where I have been in the past where I have wanted things between the two of us to be in a different place and get withdrawn from him? 

Or... is it the 'dark side' that many teachers say other teachers go once they enter administration? 

It is hard to tell... 

I am starting to feel some of the angst of the anniversary of Mom's death... four years... almost... and of course I have many thoughts about it... some clear, others not so much... 

I do think about my mom and dad a lot... as I deal with the issues at work that I do... and think about the parents I meet... and how grateful I am for mom and dad and my relationship with each of them.  There are days, probably more lately than even right after she died, when I think about what Mom would say about my days... I think about talking to her about them... I haven't had those moment people talk about where you grab the phone and start dialing the phone to talk to the person suddenly realizing that they won't be answering... but I miss the conversations we had... and I know she would like hearing about all the crazy things going on at work... 

The missing her doesn't go away... and this time of year... gets more intense...