From bad to ... Great!

So apparently my over analytical brain read too deeply into the question posed to me about being in a bad place... it was an attempt at humor.. which via email, is not a strength of the person who sent the email... so.. no need to explore that further.
So.. onto better things...
I AM ON VACATION!!!  Oh yeah... today we had a half day of school and don't have school tomorrow... YAHOOOOOOOOOOO!  I am so excited.  Today was a pretty calm day.  (Thankfully) A couple of cool things happened today... the first one was when one of 'my' kids stopped by and asked if he could talk to me.  He had gotten his hair cut and I think that he wanted to talk to me to see if I noticed... So he came in, and I complimented him on his new do and he smiled, took off his hat to show me the details...I told him it made him look older and told him he better be careful because he was going to make people think he was a handsome guy.  He grinned and said he was ugly... (he does have a lot of self image issues, but know he was covering up his feeling flattered....)  when he said that I gasped and said I could not believe he was going to come into my office and lie to me.  That made him smile even more... after that exchange I asked what was up, why he wanted to talk to me, and he said, "I just wanted to say have a great vacation!"  Awww... how sweet is that? He's a kid with whom I have had much conversation... he was in crisis a couple of times... (meaning we have strong concerns about suicide and call in a trained crisis worker to assess the danger of self harm and assesses whether or not the student can safely go home or not...) he has had a few minor behavior things, but we have worked through them.  I have met his mom a few times and she works at the Subway Sandwich shop closest to my house and I 'threaten' to stop by to see her from time to time and he acts like he doesn't like it, when around his friends for whom he likes to show off, he will say, "I hope you don't get a craving for Subway today."  And he now expects my response, "Oh.. I do have a craving... Eat Fresh!" Then he will say, "Noooo, don't go!" and he smiles at me.  From time to time I do stop in to chat with his mom and she really appreciates it.  Their family has an interesting story... they are not from this country.  The mother came here years in advance of her kids, needing to make enough money here to establish a home and stability to bring her kids here... he is a kid I will get to work with for the next couple of years as well and I look forward to watching him grow up a bit... It was so nice that he stopped by today.  I told him that he had made my day and he stopped and turned around, with his cute accent and said, "You telling me I made your day is such a nice thing you said.  That made my day."

After that I had to call a group of kids down who had been caught cheating.  They are three boys... great friends... who have been in my office on multiple occasions this year for various things... some good reasons, some not so good reasons... and I have talked to them a lot about how their actions make me decide whether or not I can trust them... so today I asked them about the paper... and they tried at first to wiggle around it... and I paused, looked each in the eye... and then said, "That's crap." They then looked at each other and didn't know what to think.  I then waited... and eventually said to them that I was really disappointed.  I asked if the assignment had been for their English teacher (a class we have had multiple conversations about in regard to their specific individual behaviors) and they each said there was no way they would have done something like that for their English teacher, never would have tried it.... so I again paused.. and said... well, that makes it even worse... they all looked confused... and I explained that they not only cheated, but that they targeted a teacher, thinking she would not notice... I told them they have probably lost her trust and also insulted her, thinking she would not read the papers or not notice they were all the same... our policy on academic dishonesty involves students getting a zero for the assignment/test and not having the opportunity to re-do it...that's the first violation... from there school consequences are assigned... but.. knowing these kids and these families, I knew that the parents would want to know... so, called their parents and explained things... Fortunately they had the reaction I hoped for, disappointment.  Before the boys left my office I  said to them that I was disappointed, that going through the process of getting to know them this year has made me want to be able to believe what they tell me, to trust them... and that this would be something I would remember as we move forward... About an hour later one of those boys reappeared in my office asking to speak with me.  He came in and said that he had been thinking about it and felt really badly.  He said that he realized he made the wrong choice and that he wanted me to know that he had learned a lesson today, about how his decisions effect other people, and that he was sorry it had happened.  He was sorry he had cheated and he was going to talk to his teacher and apologize.  It broke my heart a little because he got a little teary... I thanked him and told him that I love the friendship he has with the other boys and said that as they get older they are going to have a lot of situations in which they will have to choose between one option or another... and that part of being a good friend is helping each other make good choices... I told him that this situation doesn't make me think he's a bad person but it makes me realize that he may need some support at times to keep making the right choices... I told him that we have built a good relationship so far this year and that I know it will continue.  I told him that by the time he graduates, we will be able to look back at this and say it was one of those moments that helped us get to know each other.  He is a sensitive kid... and I think this situation hit him harder than it did the others... but knowing that he felt the need to come back today, to talk to me, means a lot.

It comes back to that relationship thing.  Kids want people to hold them accountable, but in a way that is supportive and caring...

The other day I had a meeting with a teacher and a student... we were developing a contract that would allow the student to return to class... the last time the student attended class she was having a bad day... and said some horrible things to the teacher in front of the entire class... I supported the teacher in not wanting to have her return to class until we had all met and set some specific rules... I had asked the student to draft a contract, to list things she thought she needed to do in order to return to class.  I was pleasantly surprised at her list... much longer than what I would have written.  The meeting went well and afterwards, the teacher thanked me and said she really appreciates 'my way' with kids.  It was nice to hear that... especially from this teacher.  She is a teacher who has very high expectations of her students, academically and behaviorally.  She is also a hard person to read... because, I think, she is so focused on her work... she is always super focused on lessons, planning, and on student performance... so I have not been sure what she has thought of me...

As the year is coming to a close... hard to believe it has gone by so fast... I have had a chance to talk to teachers and ask them what I need to improve upon... fortunately some have been brave enough to tell me something... and interestingly enough it has been the same thing... they want me to be in their classrooms more... It is something I need to do more... I think under the direction of our new principal I will have that opportunity.  I think that he will help us shift some of the responsibilities we have from our plates and placing them elsewhere...

Speaking of the new principal... have I mentioned I am excited? I am more and more excited for the current principal to move on... there are concerns about him leaving... mainly what he may do to sabotage things before he leaves...for the other AP and me... Wednesday night the other AP and I asked to talk to the Superintendent and had a GREAT conversation.  We were able to share a lot of things with her about what has been happening and our concerns for someone new coming in and stepping into some of the chaos that has been created.  She was wonderful.  She talked to us, made it clear how much she understood...and how she is going to help us through the transition.  Phew... what a load off!

So... I left work today... feeling like the connections I am making with the kids is making a difference... and I left feeling optimistic about what is in store for us as a school!  What a GREAT way to start vacation!  Yahooo!