Pride

Looking out at the very high and deep snowbanks I wonder if my first kayak adventure of 2013 will happen in March as it did last year.  I hope so... really hope so.
But that's not the only thing on my mind.  This week at work has been... eventful.  I have gotten little sleep... I debated early in my new position about how far I would bend boundaries for kids.. and before I knew it I had given my cell phone number to a couple of kids... and they have respected it and have not abused it.  I gave it out with the purpose of kids texting me as a way to encourage their attendance..It has been effective... one of the girls reached out to me on Monday and was in a bad bad place.  It led to many conversations with many people and a debate about whether or not to call police or an ambulance... and the fear that this girl may kill herself... I have talked with kids about it before, involved social workers of course... and have ensured kids had a plan for safety... this kid... man... couldn't get that.  I was really afraid to go to sleep only to wake up to a panicked phone call from her mom... Fortunately that didn't happen.  But we are not out of the woods.  She has had a rough week... finally yesterday she agreed to let me come see her at her house.  (I made sure her Mom would be there too...) and we talked.  she was brutally honest with me... she is in need of some major interventions for substance abuse, depression, and anxiety.  The services she can get are different than the services she needs because of money.  I hate that. the visit, in some ways lessened my fears, an in other ways confirmed and heightened them... It is an unresolved situation that will continue to unfold.  To be honest, it scares me.  I don't know how to help her... but I am covering all bases, involving the social workers, her Mom, other staff in our building... and am trying to be there for this kid... allowing her to talk to me while remaining an authority figure is a delicate balance... I worry about her so much...

On Tuesday I met with a parent of a different child... whose story is as tragic and heartbreaking... a child suffering from a serious eating disorder.. .again a situation where if money was available would maybe be a different situation.  Her mom cannot afford what is needed and so she is getting by... finances... meh.

And through some of these situations this week my head was in Hollywood.  Did you know that each person who was nominated to win an Oscar was given a gift bag that contained gifts that added up to $45,000.  Gifts that included a trip to Australia, expensive alcohol, and who knows what else... Really? GIVING $45,000 to stars who can afford to do those things on their own... whose hotel rooms were probably comped, whose clothing was probably given because it would get so much press....were GIVEN $45,000??? Why can't the Oscars give that amount of money to each nominee to be donated to a school of their choice... and if Hollywood needs to get some kind of payoff... make a documentary about the kids the money helps... I have never been a huge fan of those award shows...but this makes me sick.  Oh..... the kids I could help with $45000.

Ok.. onto other things...
Basketball in Maine.  Basketball, I should specify, HIGH SCHOOL basketball in Maine is part of our rich culture.  Granted the people from 'away' who visit us in the summer or head to our ski slopes in the winter are oblivious to how basketball plays a role in out lives... I suppose I should also give some information about Maine so that you have a better frame of reference... Many people think Maine is not really a big state... but from end to end, driving in a car, you would spend over 8 hours from start to finish... Mainers talk about the state by region... You are either from Southern Maine, Central Maine, Nothern Maine, The County, Downeast, and the Western part of the state.  Southern Maine... defined by most as Freeport (home of LLBean) south...Central Maine is Freeport to Waterville... and then there is  Northern Maine, which is defined differently depending on where  you live, but basically anything Bangor or above... except for The County.  The County is a reference about the biggest county in Maine, Aroostook County.  It's the part of the state that is the most undeveloped and underpopulated...the most pure perhaps... And is often the butt of people's jokes about Mainers... even people who live in the rest of Maine make fun of The County and people who are from there... things inferring that there is no electricity, running water, etc.  And there's Downeast... The part of Maine... that sees the sun before the rest of the country... the coastal eastern most part of the state.....and Western Maine... West of Sebago Lake that goes to the NH border... The true Mainers know there are hybrids of areas... like Greenville, home of Moosehead Lake, that is to many part of Northern Maine and to those in Northern Maine is considered west... so it gets complicated.. but... when it comes to basketball I am going to concentrate on Northern Maine and southern Maine.... the separation I am defining as Augusta... (though I know that Augusta to Bangor is more central Maine.. but...humor me.)

One of the differences I noticed between Southern Maine, where I live now, and Northern Maine, where I grew up... was basketball.  As a kid, though my sister and I were still in elementary school and junior high, we attended high school basketball games with our parents.  Coming from a small town you may be surprised at the size of our gymnasium... surely the untrained guest would think it was too large... but when there was a home game, especially on a Friday night, the place was packed.  Packed.  The hometown pride was evident. The parking lot was full... and when it was time for the tournaments, you wanted to be part of the action so badly.  If your team was not lucky enough to get to the playoffs you would cheer for the kids on the team from the town closest to you.  But if you  make it to the tourney... it was so exciting.  Palpable. In Northern Maine all of the tournaments were played at The Bangor Auditorium... (which sadly is being torn down after yesterday's final state game....)  When teams from my hometown made it to Bangor everyone from town would go.  The cars were decorated with the name of our team mascot and windows often painted with jersey numbers showing support for their favorite member of the team.  Inside the cars were posters hand-painted, mostly by kids, who could not wait to get there and hold their signs up with the hope that perhaps they camera from the local public television network might take a shot of them... Once in the Bangor Auditorium it was pretty obvious which side belonged to which team... the school colors were apparent throughout the crowded stands... and in Northern Maine most schools brought with them, their band.  (In those schools the band was one, pep, concert, jazz, marching, all rolled into the same kids)  The band brings a whole other level to things... The excitement, the rivalry, the mutual respect was evident...  Down here... in Southern Maine... it's different... the towns support the teams, don't get me wrong... but the kids down here have so many choices of things in which they can participate that the parents of the kids are going in a lot of different directions... and when it comes tournament time the stands are full-ish, but not crowded...

So why am I telling you all of this? Well This weekend I went to a tournament game and it was a lot of fun.  It was a 'northern' team vs. a 'southern team',my school,  it was the first time in decades the southern Maine team had made it to the show... and the kids from our school, the fans, entered the arena, and when the band from the other team arrived, were immediately surprised that a band would be at the game... where as in my mind.. I have been surprised that our band does not attend basketball games... our band... has seasons... in a way... and their focus is marching band in the fall and jazz in the winter... no time for a pep band to play at the home bball games... (sense sarcasm?)  Anyway... the energy at the game last night was one I recognized... it took me back to when I played in the tournament... the energy and excitement... and ironically two of my former coaches were at the game last night... and the stands on our side, the southern side, were about 3/4 full... and the northern team was full.. packed.. the place was  LOUD... the refs couldn't make a good call because the fans on the opposing team took offense... I watched the kids on my team work through their nerves... eventually catch up to the team picked to win... and man oh man did we give them a run for their money... the final score left our team a few points short of the victory... they left their hearts on that court... and I am proud of them.  They conducted themselves well... our student fans conducted themselves well....

Following the game, it was announced, each team would be holding a gathering at the teams' respective gymnasiums to honor the team... I was the first person to arrive back at our gym... and wasn't sure what the plan would be... The athletic director and I were the only administrators there... the principal decided not to go and the other asst. principal didn't make an appearance at the game... it is possible that he was there... Anyway...  I figured the athletic director and boosters had something planned for the teams return... but they didn't... the roads were bad last night and the team arrived before the fan bus and many of the parents, but their entry into the gym was a bit anti-climatic.  In northern Maine... when a team makes it to the state game, win or lose, there is a plan in place, a reception for the team when they return to town.  The plan includes police and firefighter escorts for the bus as they depart from the highway and make it all the way to the high school.  The bus, if need be, is delayed, to ensure that all the fans get to the school before the team.  When the team enters the gym the fans, friends, and families are screaming, cheering for 'their' team... the pride is unmeasured...

Today... I attended the end of the season awards banquet for the team.  I ha been invited and it was nice to attend.  And today, I found the pride I felt was missing last night at the teams reception in the gym... the pride of the parents, of the coaches, and even though they are recovering from the loss, pride in the players... it was nice.

I sat there for a while today... not thinking about the many problems 'my' kids face... being able to be with some of the students and not being in crisis with them... it was nice... but... in looking at those kids, know that some of them are experiencing some difficult times.... I just hope that they can use this experience, as a way to help them find balance... to see areas of success despite coming away from last nights game perceiving themselves as losers... that one day they will instead see them as the second place team in the state.

So... maybe what I need to do... for the girls mentioned in the beginning of this blog... instead of worrying about the high stakes of the game... need to find ways to help them find their pride, find their tournament... and cheer them on...

This week is going to be a long week... many after school meetings...