Kyle

Work, today, was busy.  I should have known when my calendar appeared fairly empty that it would fill up quickly.  A few situations came up, and I managed to complete my first classroom observation of a teacher... I am used to doing observations of students, it was fun to be on this side of things.  

Then things got crazy.  We learned about a situation involving some students who had made some bad choices, some significant bad choices.  And it is one of those things where you just hope that they learn something and take that lesson with them... I mulled it all over, a lot today, as I wrote up the reports and contacted parents, and drove home between work and returning for a soccer game... and what I kept coming back to was: I think, for one of the students, this was one of those moments that could really be a reality check and could really prevent this student from making similar choices in the future... and if that is the case, we did our jobs... I hope that's the case for the others involved as well, but I am not so sure.  I hope, but... can't be sure... 

And then I came home... to have dinner before going to a soccer game... and looked at facebook... a man who was in my classes all through school... from second grade on... died.  He changed my life.  In second grade we were in the same classroom.  My teacher asked me one day if I would help him with his work and I said yes and in that moment my life, my future changed.  Kyle... was a student with Downs Syndrome.  I was lucky that school was something that I loved and it came easily to me, at least at second grade... and when asked to help someone I jumped at it.  Kyle was a kid who was very typical of many kids with Downs... sweet, kind and wanted to be everyone's friend.  After helping him with his work he would always thank me.  His speech at times was hard to understand and because of his needs he would disappear from our classroom... at the time I don't remember thinking that was strange... (and hope kids today don't see that as strange for their peers either...) and then one day I found out where he went.  I am not sure if I asked, if the teacher told me, or if Kyle invited me... but I got to go with Kyle to the special education classroom where he did a lot of his work.  It became a place I spent time as well, as his peer tutor and loved it.  I came off the bus one day and bounced into the house and told Mom that I was going to help kids like Kyle for the rest of my life... As any parent of a seven year old would, she said, "Ya, ya, go play..."  Understandably so, she assumed it was something I would change my mind about in time... but through the next couple of years I was able to spend time in the special ed. room with Kyle and help him when he was out in the general education setting.  Junior High was harder to find time to be there... and I think that is maybe when that is needed most.  During that time kids are cruel and think things are funny that are not funny.  Growing up in a small town we had a movie theater, and it was the place to be on a Friday night.  By junior high many of us were allowed to go to the movies without our parents... in a town as small as ours there was nothing else to do and our parents knew where we were.  Kyle was there almost every week.  And it was during this time when Kyle began being someone that people looked to... for entertainment.  They would get him to say bad words and laugh at him.. not with him... and whenever I was there, I would get in between Kyle and the other kids and tell the kids to stop and tell Kyle they were not being nice to him, that he shouldn't say those things.  And I got teased... was called 'A retard-lover'... and I didn't care.  It happened often on those Friday nights... and after a while it subsided... in high school I didn't have contact with Kyle... the movie theater shut down... and during my study halls I walked to the elementary school to help in the special ed room, convinced my future involved working in an elementary school.  Because of Kyle, because of our second grade teacher, because of that moment where my teacher gave me a chance to do something good, I became a special education teacher... and now, as you know, an assistant principal... I hope that, perhaps it is arrogant, that there is a student out there who one day will look back and remember a moment where their life changed and maybe I was a part of it... maybe that moment was today... 

Kyle is a person I will never forget and to whom I will always feel indebted... I hope that his life had been fulfilling... I am grateful for knowing him, even a little... Rest in Peace, Kyle, thank you for the gifts you gave me....