Revisiting...

I have been home sick for two days... and I am feeling better.  I will go to work tomorrow.  Today I rested in the morning and was able to sit up this afternoon without feeling like my head would explode.  I hate having sinus issues.  Whenever I get sick it seems that's where it settles.  The good news, I think, is that I don't have a sinus infection.  At least I don't think I do.  Usually I can tell and I think this has just been a bad cold. 

Dad texted me today to check in.  He had not realized I had been home for two days.  He asked immediately if I had been to the doctor and made me promise to go to the doctor tomorrow if I don't feel better. 

I am not sure why, but that made me think about Mom. How before we knew how sick she was we thought she just had a bad cold and a urinary tract infection...

I guess the truth is that Mom is always on my mind.  At times she is more present than others.  There is part of me that feels that her story should somehow be able to help others... and tonight I went back and read my blog from February of 2008 to early March... It's amazing how clear those images remain in my head.  How quickly I go back to being in those moments... How scared I was that I would lose my mother and somehow naively optimistic that I wouldn't.  How helpless it makes me feel all over again... this blog is a double edged sword... I am so glad I have this but it is hard to revisit parts of it...

I miss her...  oh how I miss her...