Should have done better...

Life is hectic. I rarely screen phone calls, rarely forget to call people back... but on Friday I missed a call... from my best friend from high school, Todd. We have grown apart like we swore we never would... but we still talk once in a while. When my mom died, he came... so Friday I missed his call... and he didn't leave a voicemail... in my head I told myself I would call him when life settled down and I had more time to talk with him... Saturday it slipped my mind as I was in my classroom finishing up things for the school year and then I worked on the turnpike... Sunday I returned to my classroom and didn't think about it until later in the day on Sunday when another friend emailed me and asked if I had heard that Todd's mother in law had died... WHAT?!! Oh my god... I felt so bad... soooo bad... what an ass I am to not have stopped the little, minute things in my life to call him back. I called him last night, and his son answered the phone... asking who I was and then proceeded to tell me his Gramie died and that his mom and dad were at a meeting... out of the mouths of babes... so I didn't get a chance to talk with Todd... I called this afternoon and after briefly talking with Todd he asked if I wanted to talk to his wife... and I did... I apologized for her loss, told her how sad I was for her and her sister and her dad... and I did not do it gracefully... I cried and she cried... and I told her that I was sorry that I was upset, that she should not have had to have gone through it... Her mom had battled Crohn's disease for a long time...and in November developed an infection that led to leukemia... had been in and out of the hospital with treatments and then decided enough was enough and wanted to go home. About 48 hours after being home, she died. She died with her husband and daughters and sons in laws with her... I hate, HATE that Todd's wife has been inducted into the club... HATE it... and I hate that I am not at a point where I can offer any kind of comfort to someone about losing their mother... it brought a lot back to the forefront of my mind... remembering losing mom, that process... and leaving my dad... yuck... I should have done better...