Sometimes it is black and white... sometimes... it's gray.

One of my kids.. one of my regulars... came into my office the other day to talk to me about his 'credits.'... for graduation... when he asked me  if he has enough credits or will have enough to graduate I humored him... it is a conversation he and I have had, multiple times... and he knows he is fine... I knew there was something else on his mind... this is a kid I know pretty well... (recently he had missed a few days of school and when I reached out to his mom she said she hadn't seen him but she thought he was staying with his girlfriend... He and I have talked about his relationship status and I have reminded him to use protection in his relationship recreational activities...including him telling me that he didn't think he could get stds from white chicks!!!?? Oh my..... I told him that stds do not discriminate and that he needed to be safe... so when he had disappeared to be with his girlfriend for a few days I knew I wanted to meet with him when he returned... and I bought him a present... when he smirked at me when I asked where he had been I told him that little grin of his reminded me that I had bought something for him... he looked confused and asked what I would buy for him... I said it was a gift...not for him directly... and handed him a bag... he pulled out the baby bibs that said 'I Love My Daddy'... his face was priceless and he said he didn't need those... I told him that if he was off doing whatever he was doing instead of being at school he was going to make a baby that needs those bibs... he got my point... so.. he and I have spent a lot of time together... -for loyal blog readers, this is the kid who went on his first ever camping trip last year and was afraid of bears...)  so... after I again assured him he was okay as far as credits go... I asked what else was on his mind... he paused and asked if I had seen the news... I told him I had and asked if there was a specific part of the news he was asking about... 'that stuff in NY...' he said... I asked him if he meant the protests and he said yes.  I told him I had watched a lot of it on CNN and that I was proud that the protesters in Grand Central Station and those marching seemed to be doing so in a peaceful way... he said he was too... and paused... for a while... then he asked if I thought something like that could happen here, in Maine... and I asked if he meant the protests, knowing he didn't... he shook his head, looked at the floor and said,"Nah.... not the protests... I mean... the cops... you think cops here could just get away with killin' a black person?" And I paused... and his gaze slowly went from the floor and met my eyes... I sighed and said... "I wish I could guarantee you that it would never happen here... but the truth is, it could." We talked for quite a while and he shared that he thinks that cops can get away with anything... that all cops would need to do is to agree on a story and their word will be believed over anybody else's word.  He said that his mom has talked to him about how to interact with cops...that as a young black male his mom has told him he needs to make sure he learns to look people in the eye, speak well, be respectful, and to never talk out against a cop, never against a cop... he continued... said that cops ask black men to get out their license so that when the man reaches for his wallet the cops have an excuse to shoot and can say the man was reaching for a weapon...  and said that he gets nervous and is more nervous than ever when he gets off the public bus after his job and walks home... he said he often sees police driving past him and he asked me what he should do if they ever stop him.  That's a hard question... I would hope that if he was walking home he wouldn't get stopped by the police... but if he did get stopped I would hope that the police officer would approach him in a respectful way and tell him a reason for them stopping him... Knowing him, I adore him, but he can be defensive at times and his body language, mannerisms, and speech patterns could be interpreted... or maybe profiled is a better word...  as a thug..  and he is a person who so deeply believes that in order to give respect to people they need to give it to him... Knowing what to tell him in that moment was hard... a few weeks ago maybe I would have said put your hands up.. but that may now be perceived by police as disrespectful or patronizing... So I asked him what he would do if I was driving by him and stopped... he said he would come over and talk to me... I said that maybe he should look at it like that... that if a cop stops him, it is just someone who wants to talk to him... I said he should stop, turn and face the cops and say hello... answer their questions politely and cooperate with them... I said that he and I should sit and talk about his fears with our school resource officer... he is hesitant to do so, but I will get him to... he has a good rapport with our school resource officer... and I think it will help him...

I told him to cooperate with the police.... and I wonder if his cooperation matters... Kids in my school feel unsafe because of the recent grand jury decisions... I have not read the official documents from the cases... but what I know is that things have changed... police are supposed to be safe... what if they aren't? The attention about these cases has focused on race... how could they not? Do I believe there is some racism associated with the cases... yes.  Do I believe it goes beyond race? I do.  How can unarmed people be killed by police officers?

I posted the story about the football players from St. Louis who came out at the start of their game last weekend with their hands up... the gesture the protesters in Ferguson used which has becoming symbolic... I posted it AFTER watching some interviews given by the players who said their decision to enter the football stadium like that was not to disrespect police, but to remind people that there are more things going on in our world, in our country, more important things, than football...  I support that.. I think that racism is alive and well in 2014... and we need to have more dialogues about it... at all levels...

I feel good that this student... a black student... came to me.. his white female assistant principal... to have this conversation.  I know I don't have the right answers for him or know what it is like for him... a black male... on a daily basis... but... I'm learning more about that...about him, his life, all the time... and I appreciate that gift...