Three Years Ago... today

Three years ago today I had surgery... to remove the diffuse pvns tissue from my left knee. That surgery was a pivotal moment for me. I had been in so much pain for a long time from the effects of pvns and was not only physcially in bad shape, I was emotionally exhausted. The days and weeks leading to the surgery caused mixed emotions in me, fear of course, who wants to have surgery? And fear that it wouldn't help.... Optimism, something I had not felt in a long time before that, that my knee may one day feel good and be strong... the day of surgery was easy on me, I was so drugged up that when I woke up I apparently asked why there was no Celtics player in my hospital bed with me... and the lovely epideral that was effecting the right side of my body more than the left so I kept pumping myself full of narcotics to alleviate the pain... the following days were tough, figuring out how to move and eventually stand. From there, I got home and the physical therapy really got going. There were hard days, MANY hard days... my parents were with me for a while to help out and my mom... she was there in the moments when I really did not want to get out of bed, when I really wanted to canncel the physical therapy appointment for the day... she kept me going... The physical therapy was painful, very painful as were the incisions... but looking back now... ALL worth it... ALL completely worth it. From what I have read and from what I have seen posted on the PVNS page on facebook, I am the exception to the rule. Thus far I have not had signs of recurrance and have been able to return to my 'normal' routine including being active.

Today, on my third anniversary of surgery I worked in the toll booths... the very hot and humid toll booth...and afterwards I met up with my friend, Sara, to go for a walk. We walked one of my favorite trails, walking about 3.5 miles. I was happy with that today given the heat and humidity... and I feel good about doing something active to celebrate my health...

I often think about other people who suffer with pcns, but more so today... and my heart goes out to everyone who has battled pvns, who have had surgery, and who have had recurrance... and about people being newly diagnosed... the road is different for everyone... and I know how lucky I have been.

Thanks to all who have supported me along the way! Today, I am GRATEFUL!

Life...

I learned yesterday that one of my great aunts passed away. She was 89. I spent very little time with her... and know her only through stories and photos posted on a family website that we have. Her pictures reminded me of her brother, my grandfather, for whom I had great affection, admiration, and of course love. So I associate her with my memories of him... perhaps projecting many of her qualities onto her. Like any family, ours has medical issues that we need to be aware of...One of the things we have is aneurysms. My aunt died, as did my grandfather, from an aneurysm. Just recently my aunt had decided to forgo a surgery that could have perhaps removed the aneurysm because she felt like she was able to live the kind of life she wanted to live, that a surgery, at her age, would be so hard to recover from and knew that she may have never get back to the point of health where she was without the surgery... and she was feeling good and wanted to continue to feel good... for as long as she could. I admire that. A lot. I am sure that choice was hard for her and for her family... but she lived her life on her terms... and I love that. It's beautiful. Her death does make me sad... not because of my personal connection with her, but because that generation of people in my family is disappearing... and what a generation it is. As that generation disappears many of our traditions are also disappearing... the art of storytelling, cooking from scratch, sewing, family values, time, appreciation of each other... it also is a moment where you realize that inevitably you are going to lose other people too... While I didn't know my Aunt Dot... I hope I am like her in ways... at least in the ways I perceived her to be...

Summer Vacation...

It's summer vacation... and while it started out being a little hectic... I have been able to have some fun... a lot of fun actually. The stressful start to summer involved finishing paperwork for my job and writing some papers for my graduate class and internship. But... then I have had the chance to go visit my dad up north, and have done a lot of activities inclucing kayaking and biking. I have been pretty dedicated to getting up early, 5:30 ish and heading to the gym or walking (M-F at least) and then later in the day often doing another activity like zumba, buking, or kayaking. I am very excited because I have been able to increase my mileage with walking up to 4 miles, as of today... this means that I am on track with my training for this fall's half marathon. My knee (not the pvns knee, but the knee whose IT band has been hurting) hasn't hurt... so I am sticking to the schedule and hoping for the best. Per the physcial therapist's orders I am avoiding walking on uneven surfaces like the beach. But my activity level is increasing...and I am happy. My back has been pretty tender, so I am being careful with it, icing it often and spending quality time with my chiropractor. I have a lot to do this summer, for my internship. Lots of hours working on school things... but I WILL continue to be active and enjoying this beautiful state. Here are a couple of pictures I took while kayaking yesterday.