Reflective

This picture may be one that I have already posted here...but it fits my mood tonight. When I am in that kayak, looking at that mountain, I feel reflective... It's funny how things in our lives ebb and flow... I have shred with you all that recently I have received some new contacts from more folks who have dealt or who are dealing with PVNS. I feel very fortunate that my knee has been healthy since surgery, very very lucky. The last couple of weeks I have been thinking a lot about my knee. One of my assignments for the class I am taking was to give a speech about my personal health, including my goals for wellness. I immediately knew that I would show my scar and that I would also show my t-shirt I was given when I walked the half marathon in October. It was nice to share my experience with the other people in my class. I talked about how bad the pain had gotten, how much weight I gained, and how depressd I had become before being properly diagnosed. I talked about how walking the half marathon began as a way to support my friend as she ran the full marathon, but ended up being all about me, proving to myself that my body is not broken. I talked about how good it felt to cross that finish line, how bad my knee had been and how good it had become... and the feedback I got from my classmates was great. In my class we are talking a lot about how to balance our lives...as future educational administrators, we will have to deal with stress, will have to have ways of dealing with stress, and need to put health first. We are also discussing how important it is to be able to get up in front of people and share your story, share your ideas and vision... and my classmates told me I seem very confident and comfortable speaking in front of people and with myself...they were impressed with my perserverence and asked all kinds of questions... Sharing my story about my knee was good for me... and a good reminder that I am lucky to be where I am at... then today I received an email from a magazine who is sponsoring a half marathon I have registered for this spring. The email was seeking stories from people who are participating in this half marathon. They want to find people who have stories worth sharing, people who may somehow be inspiring... there's that i word... in the past, when people told me that my recovery and activity level since surgery have inspired them and I have dismissed it... I just figure that I have done the best I could do and that I had no choice. I still feel that way, that my story is no more inspiring that the story of other people... but in giving my speech last night, I think I realized how proud of myself I am, for getting where I am from where I was... I am by no means where I want to be, but... I am in a good place... it's a work in progress... and I am a work in progress... but I like the progress... and I finally feel like I can pat myself on the shoulder and say... good job...

By the way... I can't wait to be in my kayak again!