Birthday, graduation, and mother's day... Oh my!

Mother's Day...
In previous years...in the years since mom died, I have often used Mother's Day as an opportunity to kayak...to do something that Mom and I did so often together... and it has been a way for me to really take time to acknowledge the day and what it is about...
Of course Mother's day is different for everyone... for me it is about family... and about remembering and missing my mom.  I am fortunate that my family is in a place where we have Betty and Jacey in our lives... and something that is so beautiful about it... is that today after giving Betty her Mother's Day cards... she loudly thanked Mom for making us (Me, Sis, and Dad) who we are and for teaching us to have so much love... to have someone like Betty, in Dad's life, in our lives, who not only tolerates our discussions of Mom.. but embraces and encourages them... is a gift.  I think it is rare... and I treasure it. 
I did not get on the water today, though I could have.  This morning I woke up to my house being filled with my family... Dad and Betty were here (they got here Thursday night) and Sis and the boys were here... (Jacey stayed at her place not too far from here.)  I loved having everyone here...in my house... Dad was the first person up... he got the coffee maker going and headed outside to 'get some air'... something he thinks there is less of in southern Maine than northern... I got up around 6:30 and realized I needed to run to the grocery store because my plan was to make waffles and quiche for breakfast and I did not have milk... I will say that at 7:15 on Mother's Day morning the grocery store is filled with men of all ages buying cards and flowers... go figure!  It was nice to make breakfast for everyone... to have some time together before everyone left...
I should probably share, to contextualize, that it was a family filled weekend.  Friday was my birthday... and it was mom's birthday too.  Birthdays have gotten a bit easier since she died... but... it's such a bittersweet day... My connection with Mom is one that I miss and continue to crave... with so many good things going on, I wish I could tell her all about it, sit with her and just talk... kayak with her again... hear her sing to herself... see her smile and hear her laugh... This was a big birthday for me... I turned the big 4 - 0!!   Mom would have been 63...
I ended up taking the day off from work.  I had scheduled the furnace people to be here to clean the furnace and originally Dad had said he would come down and be here so I didn't have to worry about it... but... knowing there were still things I wanted to get done here... I opted to take a personal day.  I am glad I did... It was a great day with Dad and Betty... we all puttered... I got my screens installed in my sunroom...how could people have that kind of space and NOT have screens? It has been so nice to be able to open the windows and get some fresh air in there!  Betty gave me such a huge gift... she transformed one of my windows from this...

To.... THIS: 

I LOOOOOOVE it so much!  Growing up we would visit my mother's uncle and his wife... and they had a stained glass window and I loved sitting on their stairs and looking at the way the glass and the light accented each other... and now... now I have a stained glass window!  I am truly making this place my home and this adds to that process so so much... I am so appreciative!  

Dad and I stayed busy too... we went to pick up something one of my students made for me... something that we were told weighs probably 1000 pounds... 

A fire pit... made in the masonry program by one of my students... we did not get a chance to use it this weekend, but trust me, I am breaking that thing in soon!!!  Dad had brought down his trailer and the school where it was made loaded it onto the trailer... and I wasn't sure how dad and I would get it off... we needed to make sure that we did so without hurting ourselves.. not an easy feat... and I am sure there would have been much more practical and safer ways.. but... we put some straps around it while it was in the trailer on the back of dad's truck... and hooked those straps to my truck... and well... I hit the gas and we got it out... and it is not going to move... ever! 
Dad also managed to hang a sign that another student made for me...

That is a perfect sign for my garage! 

Friday night we went to see Jacey at a ceremony held by her program to celebrate their graduation from their masters program.  She had finished in December, but the fanfare was this weekend.  The ceremony was a bit long and boring, but it was good to support her.  I heard from many friends that day... and on our way home from that, I got another bday gift... I heard that a book I am working on is likely to be published next spring!  A book about kayaking and Mom would LOVE it!  Maybe it was mom's way of giving me a little nod...
Saturday Dad and Betty went to the graduation ceremony for Jacey and I waited at the house for Sis and the boys to arrive... wow have they gotten TALL!!! (Where would they get that from?) 

Ben is only like 2 inches shorter than me!!!  he is 15 and is about 6'4!!!  The biggest difference was in Jack... He is easily 5'10 or 5'11... and he is in 7th grade!  They were so excited to get here and see the house... the boys raced through looking at every room.  I think I got their stamp of approval.  Jack kept saying it was so much bigger than the condo I lived in... it isn't THAT much bigger, but feels like it.  They brought me a birthday gift.. gardening supplies including sunflower seeds... 3 packages of them, all varying heights... so we decided to plant them... (plus I had a package too as my plan was to plant some in front of my fence so that the late summer would be brilliantly yellow!!) 
Jack and Davin helped me plant them.. plant them ALL! 

It is a long fence.. (it's my neighbor's fence that separates our yards...)  and there will be a ton of sunflowers!!! I may be known as THAT sunflower lady!  I can't wait!  We also planted some cucumbers and spaghetti squash... in with the strawberry plants that are already growing! 

This is my small garden... The garden gnome was part of the bday gift...and Davin thought that was the best place for it... to protect the garden... I hope to get some good berries and cukes! 
We had some good food for lunch and had a bbq for dinner for those of us who are not fans of seafood... and for those who are... they had some mussels, clams, and lobstah... some had a combination of both.  By the time we were done with dinner it was too late to break in the fire pit... so may have to wait until next weekend to do that! 

So... this weekend was so full... of love, of family... or projects... and celebration... I really am lucky... and I really continue to miss Mom on these occasions...

I am glad there is a day for people to take time to recognize their mothers... but it is so hard for those who have lost their moms... I think of my friends who are in the same situation... some lost their mom's more recently... but no matter how long it has been... it is hard... I especially think of Sis of course... Rico... Jill... Debbie... sadly there are others too... but the bond I share with these people about the loss of a mother... is something I cannot describe...
Rico is spending some time in his mom's town... and he is happy to be there alone... I am happy he is there... happy he is taking time he needs to 'be' with her...

I also need to recognize this mother's day... the people who want so much to be a mother (or a father) and have not yet been given that gift... and also need to recognize the people who mother other people's children... either professionally or personally... I do not have any children... but often feel like I parent the kids in my school... and I am grateful for that opportunity...even on the hard days...  also thinking about a friend of mine for whom the mother child relationship is not easy right now... she will hang in there and it will eventually be okay...

I hope y'all enjoyed Mother's day...  and hope that if you have people in your life who are... motherless... that you took a moment to recognize that... not in a big way or a public way necessarily... but just acknowledgement...

It was a great birthday/mother's day weekend... I do wish I had gotten a chance to 'be' with Mom today, the way Rico is with his mom tonight... but I will have time on the water soon... I did get out last weekend... in anticipation that the time may not get carved out to do it this weekend... and it was a great trip...