There is little my mind thinks about these days besides my house... as the closing date and the move date get closer I find myself exhausted... I think from thinking about it... I have done a lot to get ready for the move... packing, more packing, and even more packing. I have a very good plan for the transition...
The closing will be on a Monday, in the morning... after a final walk through... and once I have the keys (And a huge amount of debt!) I will go tot he house and go inside... and I am pretty sure I will have a moment... so many emotions that will surface... pride... I am very proud to be doing this on my own... gratitude... because I am not really doing this on my own... I have amazing support in my life... people who have and will continue to encourage and help me.... happiness... about having a place I can really call home... fear... this is a big undertaking and I have so much to learn about home repairs, snow blowers, and lawn mowers... and other things I don't even know I don't know yet... and... I am certain there will be a moment, or perhaps a few, of grief. While this is such a big thing for me, such a positive thing... it has also made me miss Mom... which I do every day, but this magnifies that... there are events in life that I always thought mom would be a part of... and buying a home is one of them. Whenever my sister or I would move to a new place Mom would say she couldn't wait to visit us because she needed to SEE where we were... she said until that time, she pictured us kind of just floating out there somewhere... and as many people know, when you move, it doesn't feel complete until your people spend time in your new space... Mom never visited me here at this condo or at the apartment I was in before this place... and she won't get to come to my house...
The people that know me well will not be surprised that this is bringing some of my emotions to the surface...
and I wish, if even for a minute, Mom could be there… I know
there will be so much excitement as I move in and as I get settled and as the
people I love help me do that… but I will also take time to think of her and
how she would love the natural light… how she would be singing as she was
helping me get settled…I will think of her as I unpack certain things... and as I get some of my decorations up... like the daisy poster I bought... which I need to find a frame for... So I know her presence will be there in ways... but it is emotional for me...
I am also very overwhelmed... in a good way, by the love and support that I have gotten and continue to get about the house... Dad has been a huge help... and has a daddy do list for when he comes down to help... Betty is so willing to jump in and help and is so excited and encouraging... and I know she will do so much to help while they are here... (I do not yet have a Betty do list... but maybe it will involve keeping us fed!) Jacey has volunteered to help me clean the house the day I close and help me take over a few loads of things I don't want to box up or things that are fragile... and Sue and Mike are going to help me Monday night, Mike is going to unhook my dryer and washer... then on Tuesday Suellen has taken the day off!!! She wanted to be around while the movers are around to help me stay calm and do whatever I need help with... which may mean doing some cleaning at the condo... and Mike is going to hook up the washer and dryer so I can use them as needed... then Wednesday Dad and Betty arrive!!! I am hoping to have the condo cleaned by then... I do have one task I need dad's help with before I turn in my keys.. but am really hoping that once Dad and betty get here I will be done with the condo! Maybe I will plan on coming to the condo that morning and clean until they get here and what I get done in that time is what will get done! Somewhere in there my bedroom furniture will also be delivered and assembled... and then... it's all about settling in! I can't wait...
So for those people who will be with me during this crazy time... if I forget to say thank you... I will say it here THANK YOU... even though those words seem inadequate for how I feel...
Love you all!!!
