Lazy Day

Today was very low key. I think I was recovering from a few busy days with my nephew. Today I did laundry and packed for camping. It seemed like I had more laundry than usual...probably because of my nephew... I have a lot of respect for parents. Even though my nephew was awesome...it is a lot of work to be responsible for a kid 24 hours a day.

My knee is ok today...at least pain-wise. It doesn't feel that bad..but is very swollen.

I am excited to go camping. I go to a place that is so beautiful...a place where no matter what else is going on... I feel at peace. I look forward to that. I hope to see some moose while I am kayaking. (The kayak picture is from a google search.)

So blog pals... I will be gone for a while, but will tell you all about it when I get back. In the meantime, be good.

Overthinking...perhaps...

This is my newest completed art project. I told you about it earlier... I am making it into one of those thingys that go in the middle of the table and spin. I have yet to attach the doohickey that will make it spin, but the paint job is done. The colors are a little brighter in person, but you get the idea.

Today my sister came today to pick up my nephew. She brought her other two sons along as well. She had stopped on the way up so they had a chance to go to the beach. The temperatures changed a lot overnight and the boys got cold fast.

My oldest nephew was sad to leave. He had asked his mom if he could stay longer. That's nice. He was a little frustrated when Sis and my other nephews arrived, but he did okay. He is a sensitive kid and I am sure he was sad to leave. He had wanted to go to the beach today too...with me before he had to leave. We didn't go...mainly because I was supposed to have a physical therapy appt., but I got there and they did not have me scheduled. I was a bit relieved because my knee is not feeling great and I think that I would not have been able to do some of the exercises.

I am leaving Sunday to go camping. I am not sure if I will have a chance to write before I leave, but I will try. I am looking forward to camping and hope that I am able to kayak. I am worried about getting into and out of the kayak as well as the position my leg has to be in while in the kayak. Time will tell I guess.

My surgeon's office called today and told me I needed to have a referral from my primary care physician for the surgery... gotta love health care. I would have thought that getting the referral to the guy for the first appt. with him would have been enough. Let's hope that this referral goes through more efficiently than the last.

Having my nephew here was a good distraction...my knee was worse, but I was able to get my thoughts away from it more than usual. My surgery is about two and a half weeks away... I really, really hope that this makes things better. I am not sure I can handle more of the same. I am scared to have the surgery...scared not to...which isn't an option... I know there are so many people who will help me afterwards...and I am so grateful...but I know it is going to be hard on me... this is one of those times that I wish I had a significant other to lean on... but I suppose that this will make me stronger...right? Or at least that's what we tell ourselves and what we tell each other.

Another Beautiful Day

Oh my gosh... where do I begin? Today was probably one of the best days...ever... My nephew and I had a busy day filled with mini-golf, lobstering, and another evening at the beach.

Our day actually began at midnight last night. I had told my nephew a story of going to the beach in the wee hours of the morning and seeing bioluminescent organisms. (Glow in the dark bacteria...) He was so intrigued by it and asked if we could go...in the middle of the night. So I agreed and told him I would wake him up and we would drive to the beach in the middle of the night. I expected that he would not want to get up after I woke him up, but he did...and sleepily managed to get into my truck. We got to the beach... it was windy... and nobody else was there. We did not find any glow in the dark creatures. We were disappointed, but it was still fun. He talked about it with his dad tonight and I could tell he thought it was pretty cool. After that I did not sleep well. (Mostly because my knee is really hurting. I think the time with my nephew has involved me being more active than I have been in a while...and I am paying for it. Today I had to have him retrieve my ball after my turn while playing mini-golf because my knees were not feeling great. Oh well.)

My nephew was awake at 7:37 this morning... wide awake. There does not seem to be a transition for him between asleep and awake. All of a sudden he is awake and asking to play Scrabble... at 7:37 in the morning??? We hung out at home this morning, played mini golf, had lunch, went to a park, went on the lobsterboat, then to the beach. The lobsterboat was incerdible. Anyone who went got to "suit up" for the trip. We went out into the bay and hauledin lobster traps. The kids and adults get to help fill bait bags, empty the used bait bags, hold lobsters, re-bait the traps, and push the traps into the water. It was so fun watching my nephew. There were a few moments where I wondered if he was okay... he looked so serious...but later when we were talking he was able to tell me so many facts that we had learned. I think his serious look was one of concentration and processing all the info. He was hesitant at first, I think because of the other kids on the boat, but by the end he did one trap all by himself...so cool. We got to see some seals sunning themselves and one of the men on the boat got "marked" by a seagull... so he got a free t-shirt. As soon as we left the boat my nephew asked if we could head immediately to the beach... and we did. He rode his boogie board and caught some good waves. The water was freezing...but it didn't stop him.

I have so loved having my nephew here. It has been wonderful and i hope to do it again, when my knee is better. There are so many more things we could do if my knee was better... like biking around one of the islands in the bay... maybe next summer.

Beach Days

I am LOVING having my nephew for a few days. He is such a GREAT kid. So smart... and just beautiful. I am sharing some pics with you all about some things we have done on our adventure so far. My nephew is 7 and loves mini-golf... he did great. He didn't get frustrated when his ball went into the bushes...and didn't get upset when we tallied up the score and I had kicked his butt. Yeah... he's 7 and I kicked his butt... am I proud... You bet I am. He's tough! He kicked my butt at a Harry Potter trivia game this morning.

He loves the ocean... always has. He was so excited to go to the beach for the first time this summer. I love this picture because he just ran for the water...arms up and so excited.. and happy... pure joy. I love that. He ran and ran and ran.... the water actually felt warm - I didn't swim yesterday but I did today and had fun.

The final pic of the day is of my nephew with his snorkel gear on while we were heading to the beach. He accompanied me to my physical therapy appt. today and counted for me as I did my exercises. I lose count for some reason. After my appointment we went to the store to nuy some beach supplies. Last night we had not taken a lot to the beach and decided today we needed some supplies. The water was a little murky for snorkeling, but he tried. By the end of the time at the beach he was cold, shivering, but still wanting more time in the ocean.

I am so glad he is here. My knee is hurting quite a bit and I am not taking pain meds because I feel weird taking something that makes me less coherent than I should be with him here. It does limit what I can do with him and it is frustrating. Tonight we are going to wake up in the middle of the night and take a special trip to the beach... to see if we can find bioluminescent creatures... I have experienced bioluminescent creatures twice before... if you don't know what I am talking about... they are small organisms that glow in the dark when stressed. They someitmes get caught in the sand, and you can't see them unless you step near them or on them and they glow. I was telling my nephew about it and he asked if we could get up in the night to go. I told him we could... I think that would be a cool memory... especially if we find the glow in the dark stuff. However, I think it may be hard to wake him up and get him into the truck... but we'll try. So I am going to head to bed so that I can get a little rest before getting up again.

What a cool kid....

Longer Bed Needed...

I survived driving in Boston. The directions I had gotten from the internet were helpful...though in places were a little vague... but I got to see the hotel my family will stay at and got to the hospital fine. It is a big place. I had not walked around much when I was there before. The appts. went well. I gave blood...and did't faint.... I was worrried about that... afraid actually. I then had my pre op appt. and waited for over an hour in the waiting room before the hour long appt. THe good news is that I am healthy... except my knee... and they put a special note on my file.... "Longer Bed Needed." They did tell me that they have to accomodate some of the celtic players, so I should be all set.... Hmmmmm.... Celtic players.... can I be on their floor?

After my appts. I found my way to the highway and proceeded to go to my sister's... well I met her and her kids at a baseball game...their minor league team. It was fun. Her boys did great... and cheered loudly for their team. After the game there were fireworks and 2/3 of the boys love them. The youngest hated them in past experiences, but did better last night. This morning my oldest nephew and I set off on our road trip...back to my house.

He is 7... will be 8 this fall. He is amazing. He did well on the drive here and was so good all day. We played mini-golf...in the massive heat and humidity... he loves mini golf. Then we got some groceries and then hit the beach around 6:30. We had a blast. I will post some pics at some point. We played in the water, in the sand... and attempted some sand castles. We had brought kites, but it wasn't windy enough. I am not sure what tomorrow will bring, but I am sure it will be fun. He is so smart...amazing really. And I am not just saying that because he is my nephew... but he is BRILLIANT!

Good night!

Pre-op

I had crazy dreams last night. I think it is because of having to drive to Boston tomorrow and go to my pre-op appt. I have a little anxiety about it. My knee was hurting a lot last night. After going to a friend's place for dinner two of us went out to have a drink. My knee felt pretty good and it was a beautiful night. Before deciding where to have a beverage we walked around quite a bit...well...compared to how much walking I have done lately. By the end of the night my knee was ready to call it quits. So today there is a sharper pain than usual, but I know that there is an end in sight. (Positive thoughts...positive thoughts...)

Anyone know much about dreams and their meanings? In one of my dreams last night, I saw someone who has visited my dreams before. The last time I saw her was when my sister was pregnant with my middle nephew. My dreams about her were so vivid...her cute little toes, her white sandals with a flower on them, her sundress... I was convinced that my dream meant Sis was going to have a little girl. But Sis has three boys... I hadn't thought much about that little girl, until last night. She was in a dream...older...but it was her...I saw her at the end of a long hallway holding on to a hand of a person who I cannot describe...He was much taller than her... I know it was a man... they were sideways to me, but she turned her head to look at me... and that was it. She was not as vivid as before...the colors were not remarkable...but it was the same girl. What do you suppose that means? Maybe she'll come to my dreams again.

Ok... so today will be spent doing some more organizing and planning tomorrow's venture to Boston. I am also trying to get some things ready for when my nephew is here. He will be with me through Friday. I am not sure how much blogging I will do while he is here, but I will try. I am very excited about our time together. I will bring my camera and maybe post a picture or two of what we do together. He's such a cool kid.

Well, I am hungry...so I need to go make some lunch. That reminds me.. .I also need to figure out what to buy to have here for my nephew...hmmmm...

Adventure...

So I told you all that I was going to have an adventure today. Well... it wasn't what I expected. Part one of the adventure was taking care of two chihuahuas for one of my friends. Her daughter was here from Denver and my friend was having a baby shower for her. She didn't want to have the dogs barking all day so asked if I could take them. I agreed,,,and because of the second part of my adventure, planned on leaving the dogs at my house....Part two of the day was supposed to involve a date...the key words being 'supposed to.' It didn't happen. I will give him the benefit of the doubt...for now...he did call, but... I think my gut is telling me that his story for not meeting today is not quite right. We'll see. Not sure why dating is even a part of my thoughts right now, with so much else going on. Although...it would be nice to have a strong set of shoulders to lean on. Oh well... maybe there is some handsome, strong, male nurse at the hospital in Boston. I am going to go to a friend's house for diner tonight...then maybe we'll head out on the town, after all, I look so cute today...why waste it. So since my date didn't happen I went to the same places I had planned to go on the date...but I took the dogs, who proved to be good company. Good thing they are small dogs and don't need to walk a lot. My knee was not up for a lot of walking. So... me and two chihuahuas went to the ocean. I am sure it was an interesting site... a six foot six inch woman walking two chihuahuas who combined, weigh less than my biggest cat. It was a good day spent with canines, but I am still a cat person.

Later Gators...

Preparing

Today I moved some things around so that life after surgery will be easier. I moved the small refrigerator that I usually have in my classroom into my living room so that I can have cold drinks within reach. Right now there is iced tea and water in there. No captain and diet coke....yet. (Just kidding mom!) I also made room for a chair that sara and Phil are going to let me borrow... one that is higher than my furniture and has arms on it so it will be easier to get up from. I did some organizing in the room that I want to use as my art room. I prefer to paint at the dining room table, but is makes more sense to keep all the paint in one space. hopefully I will feel up to doing some art after surgery. I did some cleaning too....That doesn't really sound like a lot of things to do.. but it has taken me all day. I can do some work, then have to get off my feet and relax. Frustrating. It's kind of throbbing tonight.

The cats enjoyed the day. For some reason they get all excited amidst the chaos and were very energetic. Later in the day Tess, the senior female in the bunch, has been very affectionate and has stayed close to me. I think this means that she is feeling more comfortable with the new cats. Prior to bringing them home, Tess made sure she had some time getting my attention. Since bringing them home, Tess has kept to herself a bit more. Ahh... some bug just went running across my floor.. Tess saw it too and ran after it. I caught up to them and squished the bug.... ewwww... at least it wasn't a moth. Gross!

Oh... I wanted to say hello to D in California. He is in his early twenties, facing his third surgery from PVNS. He suffers from it in his ankle and is awaiting an ankle transplant... I had no idea such a thing existed. His battle with PVNS has been frustrating. I am glad to have had the chance to communicate with him. He agrees that having a strong support system is wicked important. (I added the wicked part... I doubt people in CA use the word wicked...) Good Luck D.

I am trying to get organized for Monday's pre-op appt. I am a little worried about the blod donation part... I have never given blood. I know... it is a nice thing to do... but I haven't. I worked at a few blood drives in high school and figured that was easier than getting stuck with a needle. I am worried because I remember seeing people who gave blood and then practically passed out... eek... I hope that doesn't happen.

I guess that's all for tonight... tomorrow I am hoping to have a fun adventure...if I do, I will share it with y'all.

Crutches

Why two posts today? Because...it's my blog and I can do what I want! This is a less sappy post than the last.

I started learning to use my crutches properly today at PT. NOT fun... I will be pretty buff, if I practice enough...and by the time this is all over, I will challenge anyone to an arm wrestling match and will win!

I had to say good by to "K," my physical therapist today as she heads for Arizona next week. She introduced me to my new therapist....whose name is Sara... or maybe Sarah...I take it as a good sign and wish "K" the best of luck... she is good at her job...and a great person. Thanks K!

My knee is bad today... it hurts, but I am ok.

Coincidences

[This is the painting I made for my parents for Christmas. After I wrote this blog entery...it seemed to fit.]

Last night I went to visit Sara and Phil. Our friends, Matt, Melissa and their son, recently moved in with them. It was great to spend time with everyone. My friendship with all of them is incredible. Sara and Phil have been a part of my life since college. To define my relationship with them as friends doesn't represent it accurately. Sara and Phil have become family to me. Through them I have become acquainted with Matt, Melissa, and their son Tobias. I have not known them very long, but over the last year or so I definitely consider them close friends. We all sat in Sara and Phil's living room last night and I was struck by how fortunate I am.

This started when I met Sara in college, in a weight training class. We were friendly, but never spent time together outside of that class. Two years later I had been living with two of my friends and decided to move out, on my own. Sara took my place in the apartment and we spent time together. Sara and Phil were together at that point so I also slowly got to know Phil as well. My first teaching job was close to where Sara had grown up and we spent more time together. Somewhere along the way I would say we became soul sisters and Phil is now my big brother. Phil met Matt and Melissa, who were not yet married, through his job. Eventually Phil started coaching with Matt. Matt and Melissa then started dating and got married and Phil and Sara grew closer with Matt and Melissa which is how I have come to know them.

I was sitting with four people whose characters could be described as too good to be true. Each of them are kind, generous, loving, caring, and genuine. To find those qualities in such high quantity is rare. I realize its uniqueness... and am in awe that I am lucky enough to share my life with them. We sat together last night and talked...talked about so many things. As cheesy as it may sound, our lives could be made into a movie for the Lifetime for women channel. We aren't always politically correct, we may tell each other how badly someone's feet stink, and we may belch without holding back, but the respect and affection we have for each other is amazing.

Phil and Matt are true gentlemen. If I ever find a man who is like them I will be so lucky...I envy Sara and Melissa for the relationships they have. The regard that they all have for each other, as husband and wife, is precious.

Last night, the scene in Sara and Phil's living room was like a family gathering. Phil and Matt were playing video games on one side of the living room while contributing to the conversation Melissa, Sara, and I were having. We talked about our strength, as women. We talked about my knee. It is such a safe place to talk about things and to get support. My family of friends complimented me on handling things well and being strong. And even though there are so many days when I feel I am weak and not handling this at all well, I believe them. They do not say things to simply make me feel better...yes we are there to help each other through things, but we are honest with each other. So I believe that I am handling it well. I know there will be days that self-doubt will creep in, but I know that I am doing ok. My friends reflect that back to me.

We also talked about something Melissa and Matt have been facing since the birth of their son over a year ago. Tobias has reactions to various foods. Melissa has sought out help for her and her family. The amount of research she has done and the hours spent pouring over material have given her son the gift of health. Along with Matt, she has completely changed her eating habits and it is paying off. They are a beautiful, beautiful family. Sara paid a compliment to them last night, saying that she will be a better mother one day because of watching Melissa and Matt be parents. I share Sara's belief.

Another part of our conversation last night was about faith and religion. We shared our personal beliefs about christianity and spirituality. None of us attend church regularly, though we all had religious affiliations, or at least our parents did, as we grew up. We talked about believing in a higher power and about not finding a religion to which our beliefs seem to be congruent. I mentioned two books that I have read and re-read and often go back to... "Conversations with God" and "The Celestine Prophecy." These are books that articulate some of my beliefs. Both books claim that coincidences don't exist. Think about that for a moment. There are no coincidences... So does this mean that fate and destiny constantly guide us? I am not sure that I would credit my path in life strictly to fate and destiny, but I will say that sitting with these people last night, I knew...absolutely knew...that these people are in my life because it is meant to be. I believe...believe that we do have control over our lives...that we have free choice...but I do believe that there are powers that be that are a part of our lives.

In that living room, five thirty something adults from different parts of Maine... all of whom are college educated, whose parents are all still married, who appreciate nature, sat...together...supporting, sharing, laughing, and eating some organic chocolate... together.... coincidence? I think not...

So when I wonder about all of the crap with my knee... I take comfort in knowing that it is happening for a reason... I do not yet understand that reason, but my life is full... "my cup runneth over" as they say and, for today, I know I am where I am supposed to be, know I am with the people I am supposed to be with.

To Sara, Phil, Melissa, Matt, and Tobias...... I got nothing but love. Thank you all...for being.

School's out for Summer!!!

Yep... that's right folks. School is done.. I am on vacation!!!

I am looking forward to enjoying the next couple of weeks before surgery. I am hoping to fit a lot in before going under the knife... I am also hoping that after surgery I will, eventually, feel like going out, even if I am on crutches. I am sure the crutches won't be all that comfortable, but... I am not above having friends drop me off at the door of my favorite local pub while they find a parking spot. My knee is very sore today... seems to be a sharper pain than usual, but still have the constant aching. I was up a lot in the night and it was really hard to take the first few steps... the countdown is on.... about 26 more days...until surgery... not counting today and the actual surgery day. I know the time is going to go by fast.

I am pretty tired today... my coworkers and I had fun yesterday, but it took a lot out of me... who knew celebrating could be so exhausting?

Today, when the other teachers and I were leaving school, several asked what I was doing this summer. I told them I was having knee surgery and I was amazed at how many people had not yet heard about it... not saying that everyone should know what is going on with me, but people were very surprised. Everyone assumed that my March surgery fixed everything and that I was back to 100%. Either I have been doing a great job at seeming like I am fine...or people are oblivious. I find it hard to believe that people didn't notice me struggling, but oh well. So... I got a lot of well wishers today and people who want to help if they can. Again... I have a lot to be thankful for.

The last day of school is usually really exciting... it is this year as well, but in a different way. I feel like school ending takes some pressure off me. It was really challenging a lot of days... hard to get up, deal with the pain, and get through the day...and I did it... granted I did use a lot of sick days, but I made it....This was not one of the most successful years for me professionally because of all the pain from my knee, but I did the best I could. I am looking forward to next year. Another special ed teacher and I are going to deliver our services a bit differently, and I am excited about it. I will be able to focus more on teaching math, so this summer I will get to develop some math lessons. I will also get to work with some of my coworkers who I have not worked with in a few years, so it will be nice.

School ending today is another reality check for me... that this is becoming more and more real. My gal pal "Mayo" called this afternoon and asked what I was doing... we chuckled when I told her I was online searching for a raised toilet seat. Granted, I do feel like I am an elderly woman these days, but shopping for a higher seat to sit on to do my business is a little nuts. My mom had suggested, a long time ago, that I look into getting one because it would be easier to get up and down if I had one. I do admit that one of the more painful parts of my day is getting up and sitting down on the toilet... it is painful... to top it all off, my physical therapist told me Monday that getting one was a good idea. I told my mom, and I know she was thinking, 'ha ha... I was right!' So, my friends, I am going to try to get one of these raised thrones and see if it helps my knee. I have no idea how to shop for one. How does one decide what to pay for such an item? Toilet paper..... $1.89....... toilet seat cover (the kind that match your bath mats).... $9.99... getting up from and down to the crapper without pain.... priceless?? I am sure this will become part of the humor in all this... and it will give Mayo and I some more bathroom humor to discuss.

I am signing off, heading to see Mayo, her hubby, and some other friends who recently moved in with them... for dinner and maybe a game of Balderdash. Ever play? It's FUN!

Cheers!

Today was the last day of school for my students. I have to go to work again tomorrow, but it's the last day before summer vacation! Yahoo! To celebrate the conclusion of the school year, and getting out early today, a few of my co-workers and I go to an area bar and have some "spirited" beverages. This year we did not beat our 9 hour record, but we were there for a while. It was fun. There is nothing like laughing so hard that you can't breathe and your stomach hurts. Good Stuff! I am sooo glad that the school year is almost over. It has been a hard year for me.

I want to really thank everyone who has commented on my blog! It is sooooo exciting to me to know that people are reading what I am writing. I appreciate the feedback that you are leaving here and I like the emails that I have gotten as well. It is a cool feeling to know that there is a connection with people who read this. So thanks! I will try to incorporate more artwork into my blog, but I need to do some more artwork or else I will run out of things to post pretty quickly. I am currently working on something, but it isn't finished yet.

My knee is hurting tonight...I think it was from sitting at the bar for so long. I am sure I will recover. Anyone have experience with acupuncture? Today I learned that my insurance company would cover costs of acupuncture, but I am not sure if it would help. I think I may wait until after the surgery and after I have some time to recover to see how bad the pain is. I think it would be worth trying.

I am unmotivated to do my physical therapy tonight. I need to do it. Thursday is my final day of therapy with K.K. (My physical therapist's initials.) On Thursday she will start showing me how to properly use crutches and introduce me to the person who will be working with me next week. I hope the new person is as good as she is. She is a cool chick.

That's all for now... Enjoy the evening.

Hello Blog Viewers!!!

[The peacock is a painting I did for my sister for Christmas. ]


I just got off the phone with "Rico" who enjoyed laughing at me...not with me, mind you...about a few things, non blog/PVNS related. It's always good to talk to "Rico." While talking to him he told me that he has tried to add comments and that for some reason they did not post... he also told me that he bets a lot of people are reading the blog and just haven't been able to add comments....so I have changed some of the settings and believe that I have fixed the problem. (If I don't have a comment from Rico soon I will know I did not fix the problem!)

After I talked with him I checked some email and discovered a message from the blog viewer in Norway and from the woman I wrote about... I was so excited to hear from them. I love hearing from people who are following/accompanying me on this journey. It is so exciting. In a way, it makes me wonder if I should edit more of what I say, but I won't...because I created this so I could be as honest as I want to be.

Anyway.. I had PT today... and she asked me how I was feeling. My pain level was higher today, but it is my own fault. I did some heavy lifting this weekend and shouldn't have...but it was worth it because I now have a dishwasher, that works, in my apartment. Yahoo! I HATE doing dishes... HATE it...in addition to being horrible, it kills my back because the sink is low. Even when I put the dishpan on the sideboard it isn't ideal. If only the sideboards were higher...built to accomodate my height.... My PT did not let the pain stop me from doing some new exercises. I am going to be sore tomorrow. Thursday is my last day with her because she is moving far away, but she is handing me over to someone else, who I am sure will be helpful.

A week from today I will be in Boston...for pre-op stuff. I will be donating a pint of my blood and meeting with the dr. who will knock me out. I am going to go down alone... I had some people offer to go with me, but for some erason I want/need to go alone. I think it is part of this process, part of just realizing what is going on, and letting it sink in. I think the drive will be good for me....think time. After my appt. I will be driving to my sister's house to pick up my oldest nephew to bring him back here for a few days. I am really excited about it.

I want to get this posted, in case Rico wants to say hello... he also told me he may be starting a blog... I say GO FOR IT!

Blog viewer

I had someone from Norway look at the blog! He also has PVNS and has had 5 surgeries... Sorry to hear that...but wanted to give a spcial Hello to Torben.... thanks for visiting the blog... I would love to know more about your experience with PVNS... Email me at IhavePVNS@aol.com.

Quick Note

Hello Blog Buddies...

Just a quick note today... I am off to get some work done for school so that the last day of school can be my last day as well.

My post yesterday was a little intense... some days are like that for me. Today I feel a little better...maybe because I emailed my dr. in Boston and he was encouraging. I had emailed him about my prognosis...telling him that I had read a lot of things online about horror stories... he believes that the best results from PVNS involve an aggressive first surgery...that recurrance usually happens when people have tried to get rid of the PVNS with less invasive measures with more than one attempt. Because this is my first surgery and because the bone structure appears strong... the prognosis is good...insert sigh of relief here... Also I will follow up with him regularly to monitor everything.

I know the threat of recurrance is real...very real...but I am going to really hope and believe that this surgery will be the beginning of the end of PVNS for me.

Some people have asked me about adding me to prayer lists at their respective churches... Most of you kow I do not attend church regularly and that I see myself more as a spiritual person than religious...but I believe in God...and believe in the power of prayer and positive thinking, so I do welcome any positive thoughts...and appreciate them a lot.

Today is father's day. Happy Father's Day DAD!!! My dad and I have always had a strong bond. We may not talk as often as I talk with my mom, and may not get as deep into things...but there is a bond unlike any other. Safe... Dad makes me feel safe...always has. There is something about having a soft place to land with someone who is so strong. When I was little, I was often his shadow...in the woods...in the garden...and he took me fishing even though he had to bait my hook and touch the fish I caught because I wouldn't. Dad... I adore you... adore the love you have for our family.

Enjoy the day!