Nemo in Maine

I decided to post some pictures of the winter storm we just endured.  

When I opened my door on Friday this was my view... 

The snow was midway up on the door.  This was after I pushed out through the door and then managed to sweep some of the snow away so I could stand on my top step...

This was the view from my door... the snow had fallen and blown around and I wondered how I would get my truck out... on a day like this I am grateful I rent!  

Later, the snowplow came and I was able to get my truck out.  This is a picture of my truck with the snowbanks in the background to show the height of the snowbanks... they are pretty high... 

Despite the weather, I ended up going out last night with a friend and it was nice to be out after the storm had subsided because there were not many people around.  It was fun to be out and I ran into someone I used to coach with.  the friend I was with was teasing me about being in an Irish bar because people assume I am Irish.  As we were debating my Irish-ness, a gentleman came to the bar to pay his tab.  He was almost as tall as I am, about 6'5 I would say, and I decided to get his opinion.  I asked him if he thought I was Irish and he said, without hesitation, "Absolutely!"  I laughed because I am not Irish and told him about a shirt I recently purchased that says World's tallest Leprechaun.  He thought that was funny and told me he had noticed me earlier and loved that I was so tall and introduced my friend and I to his wife.  We chatted a bit and then he asked, very politely, if he could give me a hug, said he just wanted to hug me, that I seemed so nice and because I was so tall.  It was cute.  It was a fun night.  

Today the sky was blue and the wind had died down.  I decided to go around town and take a few pictures and started in the park. 

Love the blue sky! 

This is a cool bridge in the park... I like this picture a lot... 

 More blue sky! 

The texture in the snow was pretty.  

In the park there are some places to play beach volleyball.  These folks decided to play snow volleyball and were having a blast.  This team was dancing after scoring a point!  Love that people are active, even in the winter.  Also notice the lady cross country skiing in the foreground.  

After the park I decided to go in town and take some pics of the snowbanks that were pretty good sized.  

I drove up to a place where you can see the bay and it was beautiful.  The snowbanks were pretty high here.  

The fort you  may remember seeing from my snowshoeing adventure... 

Off one of the boat landings these guys were taking a boat to the water... I couldn't help thinking how cold it would be to tip over... 

As I watched the boat guy rowing I looked back and saw people sledding...

I am glad he was staying close to shore! 

This is one of the streets in town.. it is hard to tell but the streets are narrow ...

This pic shows the height of the snowbanks...width as well...

 

One business wanted to make sure people knew they were open.  Pretty goo way to do it! 

 The snow removal continues... snow from the city streets gets moved to remote locations to keep the streets cleared... they were moving a lot of snow today!

Just a shot of some of the buildings...

I love living in a place that is on the water.  This is the ferry terminal...

Someone left their sailboat in the water for the winter... I am sure the owners are dreaming of sailing weather! 

This bike rack surprised me by being so full.  The bikes look like they have been there for a long time...

In the winter many of the floats that are in the water to help people access their boats are stored on the pier. Attached to the floats are many mussels... these are some mussels that had fallen off...

I like living by the water! 

This seagull was very much unafraid of me... I almost stepped on it before realizing it was there... 

As I was on the pier a plane flew overhead... guess that means the airport is running!  

Again... seagull...

 I know they are scavengers.. but still pretty birds...

This picture would have been more dramatic if taken from the other angle.  I was walking on the pier and it just looked like it ended... I think the gate is supposed to be closed here, but assume that when people plowed the pier they simply push it into the water... but, if people were unaware of it ending and visibility was bad, someone could easily fall in... in fact there was a person here that, according to the news, was blown into the water off the pier during the storm... I wonder if this open gate had anything to do with it.  

More pictures of mussels ...

This is how we remove snow in Maine!  now THAT is a snow blower! 

The storm hit and is now gone... reminding us all of what winter in Maine can really be like.  

I didn't hate it.  

snow & vounteering

I don't really remember hearing winter storms being given names... but apparently, not unlike hurricanes, they do name winter storms... and Winter Storm Nemo is hitting New England.  And he's hitting hard.  This morning, to my surprise, school was cancelled.  I did a few errands and then came home to try to paint... working on a painting I have had going for a while and am not sure what direction I want to head in with it... then I did something I haven't done in a long time.  I volunteered at a soup  kitchen.  Last spring I had inquired about volunteering there and they had some hoops to jump through, an application and some training and when I got ready to do those things I got the new job and it got placed very far back on the back burner.  Somehow my name was put on a list by the volunteer coordinator and I received an email yesterday.  The email said that due to the storm they were concerned that they would not have enough help and asked people to come if they could.  Originally my plan for tonight had included spending time with Jacey, as a celebration for her recent acceptance into grad school... and after getting the email asked her if she was up for volunteering before our celebratory dinner and she agreed... but as it worked out she ended up not coming his way today because her school was closed and she din't have to go to work.  I am glad she stayed put and stayed safe.  I decided to still go... and I was glad I was able to help out.  It was nice to be there, to do something for other people, and to meet some new people.  I worked next to one woman who seemed young, like college aged, but she had been out of college for a while.. made me feel old!  It was nice chatting with her.  I was in charge of keeping the side dishes warm without burning them on a huge gas stove an her job was making some soup... and the pot was so big I had to help the girl out a little from time to time.  she had to be on her tip toes to see all the way to the bottom.  After things got going and they figured the sides would stay warm until the end of the service, they asked me to help with some donations... boxes of fruits and vegetables from local grocery stores. the produce needed to be sorted into fruit, veggies, and rotten... it was not the most glamorous part of the night, the rotten fruit was gross... but I am happy to know that nothing goes to waste... the rotten produce goes to a local pig farmer...then, I got to put together some bag lunches, sandwiches, granola bar, and apple slices.  People who come to the shelter have the option of taking a bag lunch with them.  Because of the roles I played tonight, I didn't see or interact much with the people who were coming to the soup kitchen for food... I did help clean the dining area towards the end of the service, but most people were already leaving or had left at that point.  There was a familiar face there... a man I have seen often... he stays in an area close to one of my walking routes... he does Tai chi ... As he was leaving I watched him take time to say good bye to some of the staff and thanked each of them.

It was nice to volunteer... to help... to not be in charge... to meet some new people... I need to do it again.

High Stakes...

Perhaps one of the biggest differences between my last job and this job is the fact that kids have to earn credits... to graduate.  At the middle school level kids got grades... often were given grades... and even if they didn't 'pass' the class, they were promoted to the next grade... There are reasons for that, solid reasons... the top of which is that kids who are 'retained' have a higher risk of dropping out of high school... At high school... kids have a set number of credits that must be 'earned' in order to walk across the stage and get their diploma... They have four years to get the credits they need.. for some, it is easy... for most it is a work in progress with a high likelihood of success... for others... well... it's a challenge... with many barriers that are difficult to overcome... whether those barriers are structural (What programs are available and interventions that are allowed), cultural (what is past practice and what politics are at play), or personal (poverty, mental illness, drugs, etc) students have to work hard to overcome them... some do it alone, all alone, and others are pushed over those barriers by many supportive hands...

One of my students is at a turning point...well I am sure there are many who are, but tonight I focus on one... I have worked with him a lot this year... he's... complicated... he's a kid for whom the stakes are high... he needs every credit he is enrolled in this year.. and at the midway point there are more barriers, mostly self imposed, than possibilities... and it has been  breaking my heart... well... at first it was breaking my heart... and then to be frank... I got frustrated...with him... with the parents who have enabled him and now expects him to suddenly, without any training, step up and fly solo and know how to control the plane... I kept trying to find a hook, something I could latch onto that would motivate him... and it has been hard... which is so incredibly frustrating to me... I have thought about this kid...debated about whether or not he needs/deserves rescuing or if he needs to crash and burn and then begin to rebuild... A recent incident resulted in an extended suspension... and as I watched his parents in my office in tears... as he told me he really didn't give a F#$&about any of it... part of me a selfish part of me... was so sick of dealing with him... dealing with him... dealing... a word that I often think about as having a negative connotation... dealing with something is putting up with something that is annoying because you have no choice but to tolerate it... and in that moment I was disappointed... because my frustration with him was more powerful than my desire to keep working to find a hook/solution...

Not long after they left my office there was a feeling of relief... knowing that for the next seven school days I did not have to wait to get a report that he had done something else... but inside my concern was growing... the dynamics between he and his parents... they in some ways have grown afraid of him... afraid of the choices he is making...and... I saw him circling the drain.   I sat with it for a few days... and in my head started thinking about a program in our school... a program drastically different than the program he has been in... a program that is self contained... where he would not have access to peers or areas of the school unsupervised... in my mind those parameters would limit his accessibility to the negative people and choices he has been drawn towards...and in my head... part of me thought about how that may reduce his visits to my office and... honestly, suck less of my time... but the more I thought about it, the more I thought it was a good fit... and needed to see if I could get the family on board... and then him...

I called the parents and asked if I could meet with them..  Two of them (out of four) were able to come in... and I was relieved that it was the two key people I needed there... They came in.. and I took them to a conference room and told them that I wanted to meet with them, together, on a day on which their son had not been punished, without the parameters of a meeting like an IEP... (IEP meetings are the meetings held for students with disabilities where there are required participants, structure, and laws...)  I had a piece of large chart paper and colored markers... which those in education know are sometimes our go to tools when we are not 100% sure what else to do...

I divided the paper and at the top wrote strengths and at the bottom concerns/areas of need... together we listed characteristics in both categories... and the concerns outnumbered the strengths... and then I asked them to think about his education, all of his education, from kindergarten and tell me where he had success.  I was surprised at how hard this was for them... I had to ask a lot of questions... and at the root of his successes was the relationships he had with people...adults... and when I asked them to identify adults in his life with whom he now feels a connection, they were unable to do it... except for one of our social workers and said that they thought I was  one of those people until I was forced to lay down the law...

Then... I asked what they wanted for their child... and that list seemed to come more easily.

From there I reflected on the program in our school that I had thought about for him... and the more I talked with his parents the more I believed that this program is the best option for him... if he is going to graduate. I proposed an idea that we have one of the staff members from the program tutor their son for a few days... (I can't take credit for this idea... I had talked to the people in the program ahead of time, as I was mulling, and this staff member told me that he would like to work with this student because they have something in common...both are minorities... the student has struggled with this because he was adopted by two women and has not had a strong male role model of color in his life.  The staff member thought maybe they would connect and maybe he could help sell the program to this kid... When I proposed this idea to the parents they were excited, so excited they wanted to invite the man to their house for dinner... and they felt that, perhaps for the first time in a while, that there was hope.  Hope.   Before leaving my office I had the parents on board... they thought that if anything would save their son, this would... and recognize that if he 'messes up' at school again, he may be looking at an expulsion hearing...

It didn't take long before one of them changed their tune because the son didn't want to go into the program... said he wouldn't do it... and the parent asked me what other options we had... including cancelling the tutor with the staff member from the program....and I said, somewhat gently, that the definition of insanity is trying the same thing again and again and expecting different results... that if we bring this student back into school, in the same program he has been in, that my gut was telling me we would be setting him up to fail, setting him up to get in trouble again... setting him up to not graduate... and told her that I, in good conscience, could not agree that he should return to school with business as usual... and told her that I had already arranged the tutoring and that I wasn't able to change it..(A bit of a white lie) ... and... it worked.. in the moment... and the parent said she would make sure he went to the tutoring... which I had scheduled to be in the classroom where this program is located.. which is highly unusual, typically when kids are suspended, they are not allowed to set foot on school property, but I felt like he needed to see the space...

After one day of tutoring with this man... the student said he wants to work with him all the time... and today when I saw him before tutoring, saw something I have not seen in months, his smile... After the session I met with him and one of his parents and he said again, he wants to be in the program... and I believe him.  And I hold my breath, because, if it doesn't work... my credibility with this family is shot... their trust for me, down the drain... but it is worth the risk... if it gets him over the hump... This program is based on relationships... and I think this kid has burned many bridges and needs a clean slate, in a place where he believes he has a chance, where he believes that people believe in him......

This week decisions about his programming will be finalized... and I am nervous that something could cause it to blow up... but... my gut... my gut is telling me this is going to work... but... I am still crossing my fingers!

High School

A very crazy week opened up into a very nice weekend.  Friday afternoon I left work and met up with some of my old coworkers, two of my favorites, for a beverage.  I then came home and was able to relax and get a few things done.  I got up fairly early on Saturday and finished getting ready for Jill to arrive.  She got here around 11 and we didn't wait long before heading out to go shopping!  We hit many stores and this trip Jill bought more than I did!  I picked up a few things and got some ideas for future purchases!  When we planned the visit we had talked about going out to a nice bar for drinks and then go out to dinner.  But, after shopping til we dropped, we decided that doing Chinese takeout would be just as good.... better maybe because we could get in our pajamas kick back on the couch and keep catching up.  It was nice.

While we were out and about we ran into a lot of people, many my current students.  It was nice for them to acknowledge me in public!  It also made me smile because I was out and about with one of the few people I am truly in touch with from high school, beyond the facebook friendships.  I wonder which of my students who are now close friends will also be able to remain friends later in life.

Not sure if I have shared my story about my friendship with Jill... we were in the same grade in school.  We went all through school together and were probably in at last one elementary class together.  I always knew who Jill was and we were both girls scouts, though not in the same troop.  It wasn't until our senior year that we became friends.  At some point in my senior year I decided that I was not going to continue to spend time with the same people.  I wanted to get to know more of the people I had been in school with for all those years.  Jill and I  were in the same English class and at some point teamed up with another classmate to work on our English project.  Somewhere in the mix of project working we began talking about Prom... JIll had said she wasn't going to go and I questioned her about it... she had a lot of reasons and excuses for not wanting to go.  I remember a dress was on the top of that list.  We ended up finding one of my sister's dresses for her to wear and I think she went to the prom... Then at project graduation, our class had gone on a simple trip, to a YMCA for the night, and I remember spending time with Jill and some others who I had not been close to and I had so much fun.

From there we stayed in touch, not often really, but enough so that we knew what the other was up to.  She moved to CA several years ago and has been working hard to move back east. We would try to see each other when she was in Maine visiting her family.  Then finally in June she and her family moved to NH!  We are now close enough to visit.

I sit in my office during the days at work, meeting and talking with kids, often about the drama they are experiencing.  There is part of me that wants to tell them that the current things in life that are making them miserable are things that years from now won't be important... but I know that those words, coming from me, don't ring true for them.  And when I talk to them about who they lean on, depend on, and they tell me about their friends, I hope that those people stay in their lives, on some level.

High school was a good experience for me.  I was lucky.  But... I am in touch with so few of the people who were a part of that positive experience.  Visiting with Jill naturally brings back memories from high school... yes there is gossip about people we know...or knew... and seem glad that our paths have taken us through the journeys we have traveled.  I am glad that Jill is still in my life.  I am glad we are within visiting distance.

Thanks for making the drive Jill!  Hope we see each other again soon.