And... MORE kayaking

I paddled in two spots today... what a BEAUTIFUL day!  I lathered up with sunscreen early this morning and again between trips but still managed to get quite a tan today.  (Yes, that's tan, not burn!)  

The first spot is a bog that is in a pretty remote place.  It's a place my friends and I have wanted to go for a while, but haven't been able to make it happen.  I had heard that if you want to kayak here you should go in the spring because as summer progresses the water levels get really low and accessibility is problematic.  I am so glad we went!  

 Yes that's a MOOSE! I was sooooooooooooooo excited to see him.  We came around a corner and I spotted him way off in the distance.  And told my friends.  They didn't believe me at first, just seeing a dark spot, but then the moose moved and they were all so excited.  None of them have seen a moose while in a kayak before.  Unfortunately this guy was a  bit shy.  To be honest I think that he got nervous because there were five of us and we were spread out all watching him.  Moose have bad eyesight and probably didn't know what was coming at him and thought it was bigger then him.  I was soo excited too.  I have never seen a moose down here when I have been kayaking.  I see them up north... and this means... I will return here, soon... and arrive even earlier than we did today.  We had planned on being on the water by 7:45, but we had a delay at a dunkin donuts by one of our group members and then had a hard time finding the exact road to go down to find this location.  But it was worth it.  very cool place! 

So, we all packed up and headed towards home... I decided to go home a different way because I wanted to return to the place where I had seen the big snapping turtle last weekend.  So on the drive I had my PB & J sandwich.  

On my drive I went by this little park and noticed two Canada geese and noticed their babies were under a picnic table... had to stop and take a picture or two.

Look how fuzzy!  

Then... I got to the stream where I wanted to hunt for that giant snapping turtle.  I was secretly hoping to also see loons because this is the spot where I had seen the nesting loon last year.  And YAHOO, they greeted me!  My first loons of 2012!

Not only did they greet me... they swam next to me, underneath me... as they were fishing.  I got to watch them as the sped underwater chasing fish, darting about.  I could see them really really well and it was so fun to watch them under water.  I got a video that didn't come out great, but I will see if I can manage to share it here later on...

 Gosh they are so beautiful... 

After watching them for quite a while I kept paddling... it was such a pretty day.  

I did not find the giant snapper, but I found this guy, with a hole in his shell!  He was about 8 inches long... and not afraid of me at all!  

And of course there were painted turtles.  Check out this guy's shell.  

This guy climbed back up onto the log after jumping in... he had to work hard to get back onto the log.  

Back to the little snapper, who was still on the same log when I paddled back by... 

The sky was soooooooooo blue! 

And I saw another family of Canada Geese.  Cute! 

Wow... what a day... Gorgeous!  I am so lucky to live where I live and have the opportunity to kayak and see such beauty.  

The only part of the day I would have changed... was my need to go to the bathroom when there was no bathroom nearby... I had to pee in the woods!  I HATE that!  (But... happens from time to time when you spend time outside.) 

I am wiped out ! I think I will sleep well tonight.  Guess the sun does that to me!  

Oh.. here are a couple videos:
This first one is one of the loons that swam around under water and under my kayak.  So cool, wish it was more clear though!

And.. this is a small snapping turtle.  I know his action isn't too impressive, but listen to the frogs!  The frogs were SOOOO loud today!

One step closer...

Well... One step closer to getting a new job... at least that's how I am going to look at it... 

I did not get the job in NH... which surprises me... my instincts told me it was my job, that I had it in the bag, all wrapped up... and fully expected to be driving to NH tomorrow to meet with the superintendent... but... that's not what I will be doing.  

The principal from the school called today... and said it was a hard phone call for him to make, wishing that they could hire both people, but... that they had chosen the other candidate because she had experience.  He said that was the only thing that separated us.  Which... makes me think.... if we are similar, and that was the only thing that some experience gave her an advantage... and I have NO experience just imagine how I will be WITH experience!  Given the fact that the guy who is the other assistant principal will be changing his role in a year from now, the principal was nervous to hire someone without experience... which is okay.  I tried to be ... professional... and thanked him for the call and for the experience.  I said that I know, based on what I had seen there, that he has a good handle on his school... that there are good things are happening there and that I believed if he felt the other candidate was a better fit for them, I knew it was a decision he was making that was in the best interest of the kids... and that's okay with me.  I'm sad about it, but am okay with it.  

Somewhere along the way each of these administrators had no experience as an administrator... and... someone took a chance on them... and someone will take a chance on me.  And as my wise mentor told me today... it only takes one yes, to change my experience from none to some... so... just gotta keep going...  I need to mention, at the next interview, that I understand I have no experience and that it would mean having people take a risk... assure them I am a safe bet, remind them they were once inexperienced, and tell them that starting out, without experience means that I can really build a career somewhere, immerse myself in the job... and bring the passion and excitement that comes with a new gig... 

Disappointed... absolutely.  Even cried a little, talking to Dad does that to me... But, there are lessons here... 

I am ready and willing to relocate if need be.  I could not have said that a few years ago... when Mom was sick and after she died there was no way I could wrap my head around the idea of moving even further from Dad than I am now... Now.... I am ready... to go where I need to go... (that being said I don't see myself moving to Alaska any time soon!)  I know I am ready to purge things at my house, get rid of things I don't need... clean out the clutter... and... this experience at this school, gave me hope, that there are schools out there with which my philosophy aligns... schools where I could not only have a job, but build a career... and having this experience will do nothing but help me in the next round... whenever that happens... 

But... it does suck.  I was totally expecting the other message... had thought about what it would be like, moving closer to Boston... having the means to travel.... but.... it will happen...eventually... 

24 hours...

Tick Tock...

24 hours from now I will know if I am the finalist for the NH job or not... 24 hours... trying to tell myself that if I don't get it, life doesn't change... but if I do get it... my life changes a lot... so there isn't a lot of pressure... but... truth is... I want this...  I will either be disappointed...or elated...

tick tock...

Mother's day... equals kayaking!

How else would I spend a sunny Mother's Day?  

I went to one of my favorite places... a place that connects two lakes and while it is a short stream/river, there are lots of places to explore and always wildlife to see.  I started out watching this bird... it was so cute... running along the logs chasing bugs... so fast... 

Then I headed into the culvert.... (picture for Jill... y toes of course!)  

I am not sure what kind of flower this is, but it was pretty.  It could be a weed for all I know, but added a nice splash of color.  

It was a beautiful day! 

These 'helicopters' were so colorful.  Last year I went to the same place on Mother's Day, to kayak, and I cannot believe how much further along we are this year, as far as the foliage being 'out' so much already.  

And... there were turtles galore!  And yes, I have to keep taking their picture!  

This bird almost got eaten!  It was on a really low branch and a snapping turtle jumped out of the water and tried to eat it!  Not kidding!  I half expected a gator to jump out and try to get me!  

Another bird... no idea what kind... but pretty and had a beautiful song! 

Ahhh... ferns... waking up... 

I love this picture... the colors and the light were perfect!  

This guy was hanging out on a log and could have cared less that I was there.  Could have easily caught this one, but didn't try.  In order to steady myself in the kayak I was holding on to a branch that was about a foot in front of his face.. and he just kept looking at me and blinking! 

Seriously, he did not jump off the log... Sooo fun to hang out with him... love the markings.  

OK.. I made a mistake today... that I am kicking myself for.  As I was transferring things from my truck to the kayak I noticed I didn't have extra batteries in my kayak camera bag... and thought about putting in a couple extra from my camera case (not waterproof) but thought I would be fine... wrong.  I was clicking away happily and my battery was low... so I tried to reserve it... and was lucky to get a couple of pictures of this guy before my camera died... a HUGE snapping turtle... its shell, from front to back was probably close to two feet long.  Big guy.  It's head, which I noticed first, looked like the end of a log sticking out of the water, easily bigger than my fist.  

The cool part was he swam for a while and I followed and he would go under and resurface... then he went under and stayed under... for a long time.  I could see him so clearly under the water and my camera was dead!  His tail looked so prehistoric... He walked along the bottom for a while, then stayed in one spot, watching me floating above him.  I hoped he would resurface so I could get a pic with my phone, but he stayed down... after 15 minutes I figured the stalemate was over, he won... and I left.  I need to research how long snappers can hold their breath.  He also, I think, explains some loud noises and splashing I heard today... once I was focusing on the shore, ferns, and heard a loud sound and turned and there was a huge circle in the water, from something either jumping out of the water or something big being thrown into the water... of course I thought that perhaps a sasquatch had thrown a rock at me from the woods... (That's what the sasquatch hunting shows claim 'squatches do...)  But I think it was this guy.... or one of his relatives!  I would NOT want that guy to bite my toe!  

After kayaking I stopped in to see Sara, Phil, and Maria... They were hosting a mother's day bash and had invited me over to join them.  I told them I wasn't sure if I would be up for it, but am glad I did.  It was nice to visit with them for a bit.  

I also want to share some other pictures, that were on my phone and I had not yet posted... 

This first one just makes me laugh... it's Meg... the night we went to our local professional basketball team... our mascot... is a lobster... kind of lame truth be told... but.. Meg asked me to take a picture of her playing with his ball... yes.... she went there! 

Then... just down the street was our mascot for our local baseball team, the Sea Dogs... again, not my favorite mascot idea... and this is Meg kissing it... she is a crazy girl! 

Just a sign I saw in Portland that I like... the RIGHT Portland... for the record! 

The rest of these pictures were taken when I was on a walk with one of my coworkers.  I did not have my camera... MUST go back with it next time... Maine is such a beautiful place.  

Oops.. forgot these two were here too... 

This is a picture I took in Manchester, NH... I was happy it was located on a river, but... I will NOT be kayaking there, if I get the job!  Too rough! 

Me... in my interview outfit Friday... 

Random...

Well... I am finally relaxing a bit.  I had my interview yesterday and then came home to sleep for a few hours before going into the tolls for an overnight shift.  I managed to stay awake all night and crashed this morning.  When I got up I got to take the newly married couple to the airport to take off for their honeymoon.  They were so cute and excited.  Since coming home I did some cleaning... my apartment has really been at the bottom of my priority list lately and it is in need of attention.  So the bathroom is now very clean and the kitchen is close to it... My plan in the next few weeks is to slowly go through this place and toss things that I don't need.  Whether or not I get the NH job, I would like to simplify things, purge a bit if you will.  I think that if I do not get the job in NH it is time to move to a new place around here... So... I am going to start throwing things away, giving things away, and maybe sell a few things... time to start fresh... in a lot of ways... finding a new place to live is part of that... this apartment is small, crowded, and dark... It has served me well... when I had to quickly leave the place I had before this because my landlord at the time needed to sell his house and live in the apartment where I was living... I had just found out that Mom had cancer... and finding a new place to live sucked.  I was lucky to find this place, it was close to one of my coworkers which was nice to have a friendly neighbor... and after a while, Suellen moved in upstairs... so it hasn't been a bad place to live, but in some ways I have never really thought of it as a place I would stay... but more of a place of transition.  I have never decorated either bedroom.  So the idea of getting a new place is exciting.  I want a place that is bright and sunny. 

So... the interview... yesterday, went well.  I spend the first three hours touring the school and meeting with the principal and the guy who is the other assistant principal there.  It went well.  I think we have similar approaches to things and I seem to fit what they are looking for and they seem to fit what I am looking for.  It could be a good fit... both ways... then at noon, I had the formal part of the interview, with the principal, asst. principal, and the asst. superintendent.  The asst. superintendent made me a little nervous at first, but it didn't take long to get comfortable.  I was myself... and figure that if it's a fit, it's a fit, if not, something else will work out... following the interview I met again with the principal and asst principal for about an hour.  I am one of two finalists.  On Wednesday afternoon I will find out if I am the finalist... in which case I will then meet with the superintendent, along with the principal, and go from there... if that goes well, I would go in front of the school board the following week.  Exciting!  I was and am way more excited about the position after yesterday.  Today I have been looking online for rentals in the area... and am not sure where I would live... but that will come, if this works out...

Am I ahead of myself? Perhaps a little... but I need to be thinking ahead... Last night, at the tolls, I drafted my resignation letters, for my current teaching job and for the tolls... and drafted some short letters to certain people in both organizations that I want to make sure to thank before I leave... maybe I am subscribing a bit to the school of thought that you have to believe something is happening and visualize it happening, on order for it to happen... or maybe I am just hopeful. 

So... tomorrow is mother's day... and as always, it is close to my birthday... our birthday, mine and Mom's ... that was last week.  With so many things going on I haven't had much of a chance to think about it... I have thought about what Mom would be telling me about the idea of moving and a new job... I know she would be excited for me, proud of me... and she would also tell me not to worry, it will allllll work out... which I am sure... it will...

Mom has been gone three years... so this was/will be the fourth birthday/mothers day without her... On Wednesday I had a chiropractor appointment and even though they know me, know Mom died, it isn't something that is in the forefront of their minds... when I left, the doctor who did the adjustment, asked me if I was going to see my mom for mother's day... I froze... and just said... no... how crazy is that? Pretty crazy. I had all kinds of thoughts go through my mind in that moment... should I say, my mom's dead... My mom died a few years ago... which would have made him feel like an ass... so I just said, No... It's a nice gesture, saying happy mother's day to people... it happened today when I stopped at a store to pick up a few things... the clerk said Happy Mother's day to the two older ladies in front of me... didn't say it to me... which is fine... but... it is ... hard to 'celebrate' mother's day when Mom's no longer here... But... I do want to recognize the day... because I am so lucky to have had my mom in my life for as long as I did... lucky to have known her as a mother and as a friend... to have loved her and been loved by her... so... I guess appreciating mother's day... is ok...

I am also thinking of my dad and his siblings... this is their first mother's day without their mom...

And I think of Betty... how much she has brought to our family... and I feel like I want to recognize her... too... on mother's day... but am not quite sure in what way...

how's that for random?

Whirlwind...

Holy Moly... seems like I have been inside a tornado over the last week.  One week ago I was in northern Maine having dinner with Dad and Betty following an interview for a principal job... and then I was back home for the wedding weekend... Monday I drove to NH for an interview... and it went so well they called me back on Tuesday for a second interview TOMORROW!  So... I am in NH tonight... I have been fighting a cold and didn't want to get up really early tomorrow and drive for two hours before an important interview... and... this job has real potential... so... I want to explore the area... I am staying in Manchester,  an area about 15 minutes from where the job is... and on my way here took some time to drive around the town where the job is... and there is more there than I thought... strip malls... lots of chain restaurants, etc... and then coming here, I was surprised at how big Manchester seems.  When I got off the highway I was pleasantly surprised by the city feel it had.. granted I am in the mall area... so it's a lot of chain restaurants and box stores... hotels, etc... but... I am going to head out soon to explore the downtown area.  Just learned that the Celtics are playing tonight... may be fun to go to a local watering hole to watch the game.

The idea of moving... to a new place... out of state... is a lot for my brain to process... non-Maine license plates... eek! That means I would be from 'away'... eek!  I would need a new doctor, gym, chirropractor, garage for my truck, which makes me wonder about the pre paid oil changes I paid for when I bought my truck... would those transfer? New places to explore, apartment hunting, what about the kayaks, storage? Ahhh so much to consider... but those considerations would be made if I stayed in Maine too...

ok.. enough thinking.. off to explore!  Cheers!

Oh yeah... it was also my birthday... and Mom's birthday...

The wedding!!!

It was Wedding weekend! 

I had my interview Thursday afternoon, for a principal's job and felt really good about the interview.  I was not thrown off by any of their questions, just answered from my heart... and felt good about it.  I will be surprised if they would offer a principalship to someone without any experience, but I have to say I would be a good person to take a chance on... After the interview I got to have dinner with Dad and Betty then got to stay the night with my Aunt Donna.  We had a great visit, though I think we could have used a lot more time!  We stayed up late and still didn't get to talk about everything.  (I felt pretty terrible when I woke up Friday morning, so started the day with cold medication and kept pumping it into my system all day.) 

I met up with the bride, the mom of the bride, the mom, sister, and niece of the bride and one of the bride's friends as they got manicures and pedicures. (I had mine early for the interview!)  It was fun to be together.  Then we all went to lunch.  

At 5p.m. we met up at the church for the rehearsal.  I gave my camera to someone to take pics, but they were all blurry, so have none to share.  I did the Marriage speech from Princess Bride... "Maawige, maawige is what bwings us togevah today...and Wuv tahwoo wuv..."  I had to, may never get that opportunity again!  (And it was a crowd pleaser!)  

I left the rehearsal dinner fairly early.  Most of the bridal party was staying at the Inn where the reception was held and were planning on going to the bar for a while, but I was feeling pretty stuffy and headed home, hoping I would wake up feeling great on Saturday.  

Saturday morning was nice.  It wasn't raining, which it had been doing all week.  I met up with everyone at the Inn and got a chance to take a few pictures.  I like the raindrops...

Then it was off to get our hair done.  This is how mine looked after lots of pulling/tugging and 95, yes 95 bobby pins.  (I counted 94 as I was taking them out and then found another one hiding this morning when I got in the shower.)  I was pleased.  The hair stylist wasn't... I think she was upset that she got me... she was overwhelmed by how much hair I had, but it turned out well.  

I tried to get a picture of myself, my hair, but it was a challenge... this was taken in a mirror... I think I have a funny expression, but somehow I see my Mom in that picture... well see that I look a bit like her in this picture... maybe I am crazy, I never think I look like her, but for some reason this picture... 

So this is me, trying to get front and back of hair... also like how blue my eyes look in this picture!  

I again gave my camera to someone to take pictures at the ceremony, and this was the best one from the bunch.  The actual ceremony!  

After the wedding we jumped back in the limo to head to the reception! (Self portrait of me, Michelle, the bride's great friend, and Kris, the bride's sister and one of my closest college friends.) 

As the photographer was posing the happy couple for pictures, I stole a couple of shots!  So pretty! 

Not quite sure how this picture came about, but... this was our best FBI pose! 

And there was dancing... I was taking pictures and someone came up and took my camera telling me I needed to prove I was there! 

It was FABULOUS! I am so happy for Suellen and her husband, Mike.  (That reminds me, I need to change his number in my phone from Sue's boyfriend, to husband!) 

Unfortunately I woke up this morning without a voice.  I have an interview tomorrow afternoon.  I am hoping  I get my voice back by then.  Fingers crossed! 

New Paths...

Tomorrow I have an interview... for a principal position.  When I got the call for the interview I was very surprised.  I don't have any experience as an administrator and had kind of resigned myself to the idea that the next logical step for me was to be an assistant principal.  I would be lying if I didn't say that part of me still thinks that is a logical way to go... start as an assistant, get some experience, and then, eventually become a principal.  But, seeing positions posted I have wanted to get my name out there, so... I have applied for a couple of principal positions.  I am looking at this as an amazing opportunity to sit through an interview, a principal interview!  I know I will learn a lot.  I have been preparing, doing a lot of research about the school  and the community. But I am sure there will be some questions that stump me.  I just need to remind myself that I know kids.  I know what I believe helps them and how I think schools should run and how teachers should teach... and follow my instincts.  

Getting this interview means so much to me.  It gives me hope, so much hope, that I am on the right track in my career.  The more interviews I get, the better my chances are to move forward.  I feel like change is on the horizon, and I am so excited for that.  Yes, it may mean changes, I may have to move, but... that's what I am willing to do. Perhaps my time is coming after all... 

 (I have a second interview on Monday, for an assistant principal position)  

Dear Universe...

Dear Universe,

Today I submitted the application for the job I would like for next year.  It was an online application... I have applied now for several positions... and the one today, feels like it would be a GREAT fit... it for me, me for it. It's a middle school within an hour of where I currently live... and the school has a lot of diversity. It has several challenges that I would love to be a part of...  I will be waiting for the phone call that will enable me to meet with them for an interview where the mutual fit will be confirmed... I appreciate your support in this...

Sincerely,
Me

It arrives...

I thought since I had been keeping myself busy this week... that the arrival of April 18th would not hit so hard as it may otherwise... and maybe watching the show Private Practice in which a boy lost his mother to cancer was not a good idea... but last night... as midnight approached... I was not sleepy.. I was anxious... and my mind started returning to three years ago... the day Mom died.

My dad said it well... three years......so fresh.....and so long... yup.  Given where things are in life... I feel lucky... Three years ago, when Mom died I watched my father's heart break.... into so many pieces I never thought it could be repaired... and while I cannot speak for him, I know Dad's heart still misses mom and even though he is happy, wishes it hadn't happened as it did... which of course does not in any way, take away from how wonderful Betty and Jacey are and how lucky we are to have them as part of our family....

Three years ago... on this day, Mom stopped communicating with us in any way... the morphine was keeping her comfortable... and Dad, Sis, and I were all with her... she died around 11:00 p.m.... the moment when our lives were changed forever...

I wish there were some amazing epiphanies that have happened since then, to make this all make sense... but there haven't been... I wish there was a way for us to feel less unsettled, less anger towards cancer... but there isn't.  As Mom used to say, "It is what it is...."

So on a day where I knew I would be feeling low key, I was scheduled for a dentist's appointment.  Joy. When I was in middle school my friend's brother used to treat us pretty badly.  If we were playing in her room he would set mousetraps outside the door to try to trick us to step on them... or throw them at us... and one day he threw rocks at us while we were outside... we were running away from him and I looked back to see where he was... just as I turned a rock shattered my front tooth... so... over the years I have had to have it rebuilt twice before now... And since I have been going back to the dentist I have been wanting to get it fixed again as it was cracked in the back... and causing some discoloration... In addition I had a tiny cavity in between two of my other front teeth.  So... this meant that that I needed novacaine in the front of my mouth... leaving me feeling like someone wearing one of those tiny cat masks that people sometimes wear on their noses... felt like my nose and upper lip was sticking out.  Part way through the process I started being able to feel things on my left side and so they gave me more novacaine... After the appointment I thought I could go to the gym and work out... I didn't realize how much I breathe during a workout... and my nose kind of felt like it does when I have a bad cold and one side of my nose is all stuffed up... I kept trying to sniff a bit to make it feel better but that nostril wasn't cooperating... and when I was trying to drink from my water bottle I misjudged my lips a couple times and hit myself in the teeth.. and decided I was done... I was not even halfway done with the new routine... oh well..

Tonight I am heading out of town to visit Meg.. she needs help painting her landlord's living room... while she is house-sitting for them... I am sure we will have some laughs in between brush strokes...

Three years... life is so different...