What's up Doc

Today was another day of accomplishments...and another day of exhaustion. My friend Sheila came over today and we went shopping...first to a store that has housewares. We just walked around a little. We then went to the Olive Garden for lunch....Sheila treated me, saying it was my first trip to a restaurant since surgery - thanks Sheila. Then we went to the grocery store. I put my crutches in a grocery cart and pushed it around...leaning on it as needed. I wanted to have someone with me because I was afraid my endurance would not hold up... It did...barely. I made it through the whole store, but I was tired. As soon as we got home I had to sit and rest. Thank goodness for Sheila. She carried in all of my groceries and put most of them away for me. It was nice to be able to go to the grocery store...thank you Sheila...thank you!!! (I did have to take a nap this afternoon...geesh...I thought I was past napping in this process.)

Today the nurse came and looked at my posterior incision...and she was not happy... well she says it looks good overall...but there are three small places that are not closing...she thinks that there are a few stitches that have not dissolved and my body is trying to get them out. As a result, tomorrow I am off to the doctor...one here, not going to Boston...I am a little nervous because I am not sure how much 'digging' he will have to do to get the stitches out...and it grosses me out a little. I also don't want him to have to open other parts of the incision that have healed in order to gain access to the embedded stiches. I am afraid it is going to hurt...it doesn't sound pleasant... the nurse says it won't be bad...but it's not her leg. She covered the three areas with gauze saying that she wants to make sure nothing gets in there...I will let ya all know how it goes tomorrow. After the doctor's appt. I am supposed to have physical therapy... if the doctor's appt. is painful... I am going to cancel PT and try to reschedule it for Friday if I can. We'll see.

That's all for tonight as my energy level is...low... but thank you to all who have posted comments and emailed me. You help me keep going...

One down...one to go...

Good Evening Blog Buddies!

Today was pretty uneventful...Physical therapist "P" came by and I was a little nervous to see her... I knew she would want to stretch my leg again...and it was going to hurt again... and I have regressed with some of my exercises...because I did so much in the last few days I have been exhausted and have not done my regular PT exercises...consequently I have lost ground with my leg raises...but I know that getting out and doing things is good for me...it helps me build endurance and I need that. P agreed with me and said that she was happy I was getting out more and that she knows that the things that have regressed will come back. I know that too, but it is frustrating that I have taken some steps backwards in some areas...even though I know I have gained in other areas. I knew that she was going to be pleased with my flexibility though. My knee has been bending further...and I did get to 90 on the CPM machine. She measured it today and without using the machine, I got my leg to about 80 degrees... which is 15 degrees of improvement since Friday. That is a good gain. I need to make sure I also focus on trying to straighten my leg too...it is as important as getting the bending. P did stretch my leg today and it has been more painful that it was on Friday, but bearable. She also advised me to use one crutch around the house all the time... so one crutch down...one to go.... when I go out I will take both, because I may encounter some harder terrain or obstacles, but at home I will use one...unless I am groggy when I get up in the middle of the night and feeling really stiff. Tomorrow I am planning on going grocery shopping...one of my friends will go with me to help...it amazes me that tasks that ar routine...or I should say...were routine...are challenging. The idea of going shopping is intimidating... will it be too much for me? Will I be able to push the cart? will I trip over something, knock something over? So my friend Sheila is going with me to help alleviate some of that fear and to help out as needed. I will let you know how it goes. Tonight Craig came by...brought me a frosty from Wendy's... yum. It was good to see him, I hadn't seen him since before surgery. It's funny how I measure my life now....BS...before surgery...and PS...post surgery...kind of like when people have a baby...though VERY different... though I will say.. I remember when my sister had her first son and we went places... I was impressed with how easy it was to cross streets while puching a carriage...everyone stopped. I told her I was going ot get a stroller just to use for crossing the street.... well... the crutches work as well. People open the doors for me, let me cross the road, and in general try to help me...which is nice.

That's all for tonight bloggers... it feels chilly tonight...like fall...hard to believe it is quickly approaching.

Ocean Breeze

Hello friends. After yesterday's adventure I was BEAT. I did not sleep well last night... I tossed, turned, rolled, sashayed.... anything that involved not sleeping... I did it... and I was mad. My leg hurt...hurt to bend, hurt to straighten, hurt to do something in between.... just hurt. I took my pain meds before trying to go to bed...and after still being awake after about 4 or 5 hours, i took an extra one. After that I got a few minutes of sleep here and there... I woke up twice to the sound of a cat having a hairball and a couple of other times when the cats decided to play tag throughout my apartment. Needless to say when my alarm went off at 8 this morning I was less than pleased. It was one of those days I determined was going to be bad...was going to suck...was going to be spent in bed, trying to sleep... however... that is not what "the cards" had in store. My good friend Meg called yesterday and told me she was going to come down today instead of her usual Tuesday visit. This was a great plan because the nurse and PT were not scheduled for today...so when my alarm sounded this morning I knew that my snooze limit was 2, unless I wanted to be in bed when Meg arrived at 9. After the first snooze I cast away my plan of showering before she got here...and ended up snoozing three times...so got out of bed around 8:30 instead of 8 as planned. As I tried to get up... my body was displeased with me. My left knee hurt... along with my behind...my right thigh and my back. What have I done to myself? I was not looking forward to those first few steps... and they were hard...very hard. I find that when I feel like that I have a hard time trusting that my left knee will be able to support any of my weight...so my right leg works harder...again. Eventually I made it to the couch, deciding that maybe the CPM machine would help loosen things up and make me feel better. Meg arrived with a cheerful, "Mornin'!" and I warned her that I was in a foul mood. I proceeded to whine about my night of not sleeping, cat vomit, and other discomforts. She told me not to worry because she had not slept well either...though I was sure my night was worse than hers..because, after all...it must be, right? As she was trying to help me greet the day she asked how high my machine was set at...trying to be little miss Sunshine, and encouraging me...saying it looked pretty good.... It was at 73 degrees....nothing to be all cheery about Meg....We chatted and watched tv as I gradually made it up to 82 degrees and decided that was enough and that I needed to take a shower. Meg vowed to kick my butt at canasta after I was all clean.

So I showered and was thrilled, being in the mood I was in, that after my shower, my back incision was oozing...and since the skin was soft after showering, trying to wipe away some of the ooze involved some skin peeling.... not nice.... but I tried to clean it up a little, put some antibiotic cream on it and let Meg try to kick my ass at cards. With Meg around, it is HARD to stay in a foul mood...very hard... We started playing...and the laughter followed. Eventually our scores were close...within a couple hundred points, which in canasta is nothing. We both knew it was going to come down to the final hand.... and mark it on the calendar... Meg beat me....she was thrilled.... she called her friend Brenda who had joined her against mom and I a couple weeks ago...then she called my mom... she was thrilled. It was funny....we played another round and I beat her...not just beat her...but BEAT her.... I was out.... above 5000 points and she was at NEGATIVE 365! Who's the canasta queen now, Meg?

After canasta, during which I iced my knee to try to alleviate some of the continued discomfort, we decided to go get lunch and take it to the ocean. I know.... yesterday's outing and subsequent pain was not enough apparently...I had to drive, because Meg has a smaller truck than mine. I was less comfortable driving today compared to yesterday, but did ok. We went to a state park near here, and walked a ways before deciding on a bench that would be suitable for me.... needed to be close to the ocean and comfortable. I can be rather picky. Meg thought we should have chosen a picnic table closer to the entrance of the park, but I was determined...I figured what was the point of going to the ocean to not sit by the ocean? I made it to the bench ok... it was getting back to the truck that was tiring. I had not realized on the way to the bench that we had descended a bit of an incline...and after eating and enjoying the ocean breeze... it was hard to get up the incline, back to the parking lot. I had to stop a few times...which made me mad, but Meg was very supportive...and as a few rangers passed me, I rang the bell that I have on my crutches....which made us laugh. It was hard to get back in the truck after that. My leg was saying...damn fool... two days in a row you expect me to be flexible.... no way.... but I got in... and we drove... to an ice cream stand. I had a twist with chocolate jimmies, Meg had coffee ice cream with chocolate jimmies. We then got back to my place and I was tired.... Meg is planning to come back on Friday to help out again... which by the way she did laundry today... thanks Neg... there are few people I would entrust with washing my "draws." She threatened to come back Thursday night for an evening of pizza and cards... I am sure she would include beer in that scenario, but because of my pain meds... the captain and I have to admire each other from afar...for now.

After Meg left, I took a nap... a long nap with pockets of sleep... and woke up feeling pretty ok...had dinner... some baked ziti my friend Kelly had made for me that I had put in my freezer...Yummm.. thanks Kel... and then decided to use the CPM machine as I watched tv.... my goal was to reach 90 degrees by the time I saw my physical therapist again...and I had been only reaching 82 or 83.... tonight I banged it out people....90... for real this time... with the machine adjusted properly. So when she comes tomorrow... my knee better cooperate and show her that improvement. (Although I am worried because with the energy I have expended on the outings the last couple days, I have not done my pt exercises much... eek!)

Today I am thankful for my friend Meg... because she once again helped me get my head out of my hindparts... and it turned out to be a great day with a friend. Had Meg not come over today...I think...well... I would have kept the shades drawn and felt pretty sorry for myself. I know I am improving, but it feels slow...and I have to tell myself to be patient...constantly tell myself that. and I am trying....

Milestone

I am frustrated.. I just typed a blog entry and then my connection failed... so I have to start over... good thing it was short....

Today was a big day... I drove myself to Sara and Phils house for a barbecue. It was intimidating to think about doing...as I drove there I kept telling myself I could turn around at any point...but I got there...surprised them... they didn't think I was going to make it over... and had a great visit. It was nice to be out of the house. I am tired though....very tired...hence the brief blog tonight... I am crawling into bed...which has fresh sheets that I put on by myself....go me!!!... and one of my favorite quilts made for me by one of my grandmothers... I love it... it is heavy enough that it feels like a giant hug! so I am going to sleep well tonight... hope you all do too.... Good night! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

New Scar Pics

Hey Y'all. Thanks Deb and Jill for the compliments on my red red toes! They look good!!! I am so glad I went out yesterday, but let me tell you... I was TIRED today. After I got home from the movies last night I laid down and could feel my body being exhausted...all of my body...and after blogging last night everything started to feel stiff. I got up and walked around a little because I thought it would help. It did...a little. I did sleep well last night...don't think I moved much, but was very stiff this morning. When I first got up I thought I may have to regress into using the walker instead of the crutches, but I fought through it and did ok. I spent most of today on my couch..using the CPM machine. (I moved it out there so I can watch tv and do my machine.) I also had company most of the day today. A friend was having a rough time...relationship wise, and needed some support. I was very happy to be there for her. She is an amazing person. She is beautiful, intelligent, independent...I often see similarities in our personalities in that we both put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do the best, be the best, and to make everyone proud of us.... today she dealt with some tough stuff...had to confront things about her relationship and about herself in a relationship. I know she was not feeling it today, but she was strong today, very strong. It takes a lot to go through what she did, and I am proud of her. Hang in there my friend... you know yourself well...

Today I decided to post new pictures of my incisions/scars. This one is the front...and looks pretty good as far as scars go. I don't think it is going to be too bad...and it is starting to get less puckery. Also the swelling in my knee is decreasing which I think helps.

This is the worse of the two...the one behind my knee. It is pretty gross... part of it is still seeping...today it seemed to seep more than it has been.The place that is seeping does sting a little today. I tried to put some antibiotic cream on it to see if that will help. I hope it does. I do think I am getting better still... Today I was very tired after yesterday...but I also think it is good for me to do that because when school starts I will need to be able to put in 8 hour days. That may be tough at first, but I will do my best.

I guess that's all for now... hope everyone is doing well...and not too grossed out my the pics. And to my friend who had a hard day...I'm sending you a hug!

RED toes

I apologize for not writing yesterday. I just did not know what to write about. Part of this process that is hard for me is that my conversations with people have the same topic... my knee. Naturally that is what the conversation centers around at this point...which is ok. I think I am just tired of how much I am consumed by my knee...have been consumed by it for such a long time now. I felt good yesterday, but admit that I wasn't happy go lucky. I was not content...I tried reading, not ok, movies, not ok, napping, couldn't get comfortable, went online...bored...everything just seemed the same. I was also feeling frustrated at how much EVERYTHING I do is now calculated. leaving my apartment, just to go onto the porch... gotta use the crutches, avoid any possible obstacles, figure out how to open the door while holding it open so I don't scratch myself...I was exhausted of having to think so much... ok, yes..mark it on the calendar...I, me, the overanalyzer of the east... was tired of thinking. So... I do what I always do when I am not feeling up to par.... withdrew from people a little. Though I will say I had a great conversation with Lola. Other than that highlight, I spent a good part of the day feeling sorry for myself and mad about how much energy goes into thinking about any little thing I want to do.

Today I got my head out of my BFA... (BFA is a term borrowed from my great friend Meg... it stands for Big Fat Ass.) partly because I was still in bed when Meg came to visit. I knew she was coming, but she got here early. She came down to do some laundry and dishes for me...pretty great, right? We had a good visit and she wanted to play canasta. She thought without my mom here she had a chance of winning.... good to know she is an optimist.....but I kicked her butt...hard.... and loved it. In canasta there is an understanding that what you say is not meant to be taken to heart...name calling, while not encouraged, is forgiven....Meg lashed out in one of her weaker moments and told me she hoped my physical therapist hurt me good today! She had no malicious intent and the kind of friendship we have, it was all said in fun.... although she knew I was a little nervous about PT today. While Meg was here my physical therapist called...she was going to be early... OHHHH NOOOOO... I hadn't had time to stretch much... because of Meg's need to get beat in canasta... so I jumped on the CPM machine, hoping for miracles.... "P," the physical therapist, had warned me Wednesday that if my range of motion had not improved much...she would have to mannually stretch me...which she had done before and it hurt... so I was motivated. I was also hoping she didn't hurt me much because I was supposed to go out later with some friends for a pedicure...

So Meg left... and P arrived... and .... I had her measure my range twice..hoping the second time would show enough of an improvement.... but... it didn't... I could tell by her face... but it wasn't too bad. It hurt...I laid on my bed, on my stomach and bent my knee as far up as I could...raising my foot toward the ceiling...and when I could go no further she had me relax as she held it there....then she pushed it...gently, but pushed it.... until I said...ok...which meant, That Hurts now!!! Ten times we did that... TEN TIMES.....but I know it is good for me. After she left I iced my knee for about an hour. I talked a little to P and she encouraged me to get out of the house…said it would be good for my soul… I know she is right, but it takes so much energy. I did still want to go for the pedicure....and as you can see from the picture above... I got there...Kris and Suellen came by and we managed to get me into the back of Kris's little SUV. We got to the mall for our pedicures and I was very excited to be out of my house. So it was our turn and we went to sit in the chairs where they do the pedicures…. Houston, we have a problem….I could not bend my leg enough to get it into the little water bath part of the chair…but I decided that wasn’t going to stop me and asked the woman to do her best given that I couldn’t bend my leg. And she did… so now I have RED toes…very red. Then Kris and Sue stayed for dinner, pizza with chicken, tomato, green pepper, and onion… YUM… then… you are never going to believe this… I left my house again… TWICE in one day… I know… you won’t believe it…but I did… We went to the movies to see “No Reservation.” It was a good movie…very much a chick flick…but good.

A huge THANK YOU to Kris and Sue for today. It felt so good to go out… and you both were so gracious when you helped me carry my purse so I could crutch without falling…and helped me feel good about being out….you encouraged me and I appreciate it. You are good friends. Also to Meg... I know you know how much I appreciaate your visits and your help...you know how hard it is for me to accept people's kind gestures and help.... thank you for making it so easy to let you help me.

Not to bore you all but I want to get a little philosophical for a minute…today while I was in the shower…which felt extra good today…I was thinking about a book I love…”Conversations with God.” I have mentioned it here before. I was thinking about it in regard to pain…this was after P had left. The book talks about needing to know/experience something so that we can know/experience its opposite. We recognize day because we recognize night…we know hot because of cold or cold because of hot….so in the shower I was thinking about why I am having to feel this pain…so that when it is gone… I will know it is gone….I can’t wait for that day…

Hills and Valleys...

Free from the SOCKS

That's right... no more socks for me...no more socks for me.... ha ha ha ha ha ha.... Yahooooo.... It was soooooooooooooo nice to not have those things on my legs... after three weeks...FREE at last!!!

No big news to share today other than the socks...Physical therapist "P" came by today and seemed satisfied with what I am doing, but wants me to be able to bend my knee more than I can right now... so she threatened me.... EEK... at the beginning of last week she had done some stretches with me that involved her pushing my knee...bending it further than I could get it to go... and it hurt... a lot.... for days.... Well... if there isn't much improvement by Friday.... she is going to do it again... so that I won't see her again until Monday and I will have lowered my hatred for her by then. So that does not sound pleasant. So tonight I used the CPM machine for a long time... as I was watching 24...season 1... which I am now addicted to.

"P" was the only person who stopped by today...which in a way was good because I had time to myself... I do love seeing people, but today I was able to really be relaxed...not that I don't relax with my friends around.... I am not sure how to say it without sounding like I don't want people to come.... because I DO WANT people to come...but today was the first day since before surgery that I..well...could just be...I think it re-energized me a little...making me ready for more company later in the week.

I couldn't sit in my truck today...so I am worried about the pedicure for Friday...I hope I can get in by then... so tomorrow I may spend a lot of time out there, trying to do it... cross your fingers for me. I want it so bad.

My incision I think is healing... today after doing things like the CPM machine and some of my exercises, there were traces of blood on things...but not the yellowy stuff... I take that to be a good thing....thinking that is has healed over and the blood is from when the scab is stretched... pleasant I know...but this is my life people...it still isn't pretty...I will try to post new pics of the incisions/scars soon.

I am going to keep this short because I am in Harry Potter mode... I had begun reading it while in Boston, then took a break for a while, but picked it up again today and it is getting good... so it is pulling me away from you......for now.
Hope you all are well.

Late Entry

Hey Blog buddies! It is late for me to be posting, but today has been a weird kind of day. I was tired most of the day and tried to take a nap this afternoon, which ended up being a lot of time tossing and turning and very little sleep. My leg hurt quite a bit today compared to how it has been feeling. It has been really stiff and hard to bend...even harder than usual. I doubt I could have gotten in the truck today. So tonight I am more awake than usual. THe good part about that is that I had the chance to talk to my friend Jill who lives in California. Jill and I grew up together. We weren't close friends until our senior year in high school. She is a cool chick. She has had a lot of different experiences since high school and is now married with two kids in CA. She is happy and I am sooo happy for her. She is one of those people who has been in and out of my life since high school. She is better at staying in touch than I am. Whenever we get back in touch we seem to be able to pick up where we left off...It's nice. I am so glad that we have reconnected again. She and her family are coming to Maine in a couple of weeks and I will get to meet her kids for the first time. I have seen pics...and they are adorable, but I am so excited to meet them in person. Jill has been following my blog and has definitely helped me keep my head on straight by leaving comments and sending me emails. Like some of my other friends, she is not geographically nearby, but her support is felt strongly. Thanks Jill!

I dread physical therapy tomorrow. I only did my exercises twice today...but that was all my body could handle. Today I felt like I had less control over my knee than I have had in in about a week or so. My brain would tell it something and my knee was like, I don't think so girlfriend! This morning, getting into the shower was more challenging too.. for the first time in a while I was not sure if I was going to bend my knee enough to get that left leg into the shower.... I did, but it was not easy. I have to tell myself that it is ok...that as I do more on my knee I will have a few setbacks...that there will be some pain and that this isn't going to be fixed quickly. Some friends called me tonight...hadn't talked to them since school ended. (They are married and both teachers at my school.) One asked me if I was off crutches yet. I think people hear knee surgery and assume it is arthroscopic and BOOM...back to yourself in a few days. These are two of the people who knew about my surgery and what it would entail, but were very surprised when I talked to them tonight...surprised about how....well...disabled it has made me. Thankfully temporarily....and I gotta say, tonight I was in my kitchen getting some water and as I set one of my crutches aside to be able to bend enough to reach the water that was on the bottom shelf of the fridge...I thought...about people who are on crutches all the time....who do not have a period of recovery to which there is an end. It takes SOOOOOO much more energy to do things...so my hat is off to people who face physical challenges on a daily basis. Bravo!

My head is jumping around tonight from one thing to another...sorry about that.

I had company today...Sheila came by this morning and brought with her, the newest member of her family.... a chihuahua puppy....about 3 months old... He is adorable. My cats could have eaten him for breakfast because he is so small, but cute....so cute! It was great to see Sheila. then Sara and Phil came by. They were out doing some errands and came over to say hello. It was nice.

Jill and I talked tonight...about dating...she's married so she's not in the single scene annymore, but asked me about that part of my life. It's hard...I so want to get married and have kids one day. Just not sure when that day will come. Many times throughout this whole knee process... I have wanted to have someone to lean on...a boyfriend...whose support would be different than one can get from friends and family...not better, just different...and it is hard that I don't have that person...but maybe through all of this... I would not have been a good partner for someone...because it has been so consuming. I can't imagine having had kids and having gone through this pain and depression....so maybe things are working out as they are supposed to. Gotta have faith, right?

So this entry has taken some weird twists and turns my friends....maybe I should stick to blogging in the A.M. hours.... I am going to sign off for now....night...

My wings are tired...

So flying solo can be tiresome. I am not sure where the day went...but it went fast. The nurse was here early to check my incision... says it is ok...but to keep monitoring it. It is funny....they say it is ok, but they don't dare to not come back to look at it in a couple of days... should I be worried about it? They say no, but tell me to keep a close eye on it... ok... I got lunch for myself..some of mom's homemade mac and cheese.. YUMMMMM.... and then company came and before I knew it I had not had a chance to do any exercises or use the cpm machine before physical therapy. (Today's visitors were a couple of ladies from work... they came bearing gifts.... chocolate and Captain Morgan! Good friends!) "P" added some exercises to my routine today that involve me standing up. My right leg was tired after all of them. Oh Yeah... I almost forgot... today when I was making my lunch...without really realizing it I put one of my crutches aside and used only one as I prepared my lunch... I told PT that and she was happy... said that we were going to work on just that today...so... I can start using one crutch...without exhausting myself. I know that mornings are harder because I am stiffer, so I will use both crutches, but throughout the day I am slowly going to transition to one crutch... YAY! How cool is that?

The rest of the day I was lazy... didn't exercise as much as I should have... and am just now in my CPM machine. What did I do? Watched movies...while having a fan blow on the back incision, hoping it would speed up the drying out process. We'll see if it helped. Tomorrow I need to be more disciplined...maybe because mom wasn't here I got a little lax....but if I want to be able to drive... I can't be lax... need to do the exercises...even if they make me tired...and sweaty....

The pain is at a good place now...though I am worried that as the exercises become more demanding it will increase, so I am trying to keep an eye on it. So much to do in a day.... good thing it is summer vacation....I don't think I could work right now...and recover... not enough energy for both....

Time for bed.

Flying SOLO

Mom and Dad left about an hour ago, headed for home. It is hard to believe that I am flying solo. I feel ready and know I will be okay. I can do this on my own, but I have been a little emotional since they left. I just appreciate them so much. I am not a parent and don't pretend to know what it is like to care for your child, even your adult child, when that child is experiencing pain and exhaustion. Mom made things easier for me, more convenient, and I so appreciate it. She was also great company for me. I am not going to miss her waking me up every morning, but I will miss her willingness to do whatever I needed or wanted her to do. She's been away from home for three weeks, today. That is a long time. That is a huge part of her summer that she usually spends up north in her camper. Dad was here for a long time and though he did go home for part of last week and even made it to the mountain, he was not content there without mom. I love that about their relationship. Yes, they do things that frustrate each other....Mom gets off in one room, way away from where Dad is and tries to yell to him...and Dad will sigh and yell back... I can't hear you. Dad does things like packs two lawn chairs when there are three people who need seats...and mom shakes her head....but they respect each other, are courteous to one another...and love each other. I know that my surgery has interfered with their summer, but I also know that they couldn't have done anything differently knowing that I was going through this.

I have so many people in my life...I am blessed....yet this is something I am going through alone. People's support and love is amazing, but it is a hard journey for me... and you know how hard it is for me to admit that something is hard for me. This is....has been....will be.... but every day is getting better. Today I feel like I could walk without crutches, that I would be strong enough...but I tried...and can't... yet... I will be able to be self sufficient without mom here...but only because I know I have people to help me... people who will help when I ask for it.

Today I am tired... I think from my adventure yesterday...it wiped me out. I so want to go to that concert with Sara and Phil tonight, but I just don't think it is smart at this point... I think it would be taking on more than I am ready for. I weighed a lot of options...even thought about going only if I could take my own vehicle so if I decided to leave Sara and Phil could still enjoy the show...I even sat in my truck today before mom and dad left...and actually got my foot in... so I will be driving soon.... though not very far because it was not very comfortable. But...I don't want to do something tonight and pay for it later... so I am not going. Sara called a little while ago and I told her I wasn't going to go. She was fine with it and asked if she and Phil could come have dinner with me before they went to the show. I will love to see them. I haven't seen them since I was in the hospital in Boston....they have been on the go a lot, including vacation, so it will be great to see them.

Anyway... I am on my CPM Machine.... did I tell you that it was not adjusted right for the length of my leg?? My physical therapist readjusted it the other day and come to find out... I am not up to 90 degrees.... I am up to 76 degrees... but hopefully that will increase this week.

I know mom and dad will read my blog later...and Mom and Dad, I want you to know how much I love you and appreciate how much you love me! Thanks for EVERYTHING!

(By the way.. I took the picture of the seagull when Sara and Melissa and I went to the outdoor concert.)

short hello

Hello... today was a good day...hot again...but good. I am beat tonight as I type. I left my apartment today....actually left the driveway too! Mom and Dad's truck has a back seat that I am able to get into...so they took me on an outing. We first went to CVS because I needed some shampoo and conditioner...and wanted to try a new kind, so I had to go into the store to find one...with my ugly circulation socks even! I hobbled around on my crutches with mom close behind with a shopping basket. Then we took sandwiches to the ocean for supper. We were hoping to find some cooler air, but the place we went was still pretty hot...and crowded. I was out of the house for maybe a total of two and a half hours... and I am beat. TIRED..... phew... who would have thought such simple things could be so tiring. Other than that, I feel pretty good today...stronger... I am sure tomorrow I will feel even better. Time for bed... zzzzzzz........zzzzzzzzzz.zzz.....zzzzzzzzzzzzz

H O T

OMG....(Oh my God) it is HOT! Had to throw a little instand messaging lingo in there so you all know how hip I am. Today's goal was to not melt. It was a hard goal.

I woke up this morning and my stomach felt a little off. Didn't dare finish my orange juice with breakfast... oh well. I was sleepy this morning, didn't sleep great the second half of the night last night. So I took my time getting up and around. I took a long shower...Mom anxiously waited outside the door, listening for the water to shut off so she could do dishes. But I took my time. After my shower I lazed around a bit longer and used the CPM machine. I then got a phone call...someone shouting at me... "YOU BETTER BE READY.... and laughter... I brought Reinforcements!!! Get outta bed and get ready to get beat!!! We're five minutes away...start shuffling!" Meg....after getting her behind handed to her the other day in canasta decided that she would challenge us...again....and brought someone to join her...a partner game this time... her partner...was her friend Brenda, who grew up playing canasta, but hasn't played regularly recently. So it was Mom and me against Meg and Brenda, a.k.a. "Red Dog." I admit, there were some moments when Red Dog showed some canasta skills...but in the end... mom and I prevailed....twice. So Meg left again, with her ego damaged. She is so competitive, I love beating her. That's not nice, I supposed, but I love it. She is so funny...whenever she or her partner discarded something mom or I could pick up, Meg hit herself in the head and said, Stupid, Stupid....reminded me of Dobby in Harry Potter. (Which by the way I have yet to finish the last book... so do NOT tell me any details about it!)

So... the rest of the day... well...around 1:15 I got my sneakers on, ready for physical therapy. P had told me that we were going to walk down my driveway and back. I have been walking around the upper part of the driveway, but the lower part slopes and she didn't want me to do the slope in my flip flops....go figure. Then I got on the machine until P arrived. P said it was too hot to go outside to exercise. Yay P!!!! So we did stuff inside and she added a new exercise for me. We are also backing off one of the stretches until that part of my incision closes back up a little... it re-opened today...not good. I may have to go to the doc on Monday if it doesn't start closing again. (I would go to the guy here in Portland who referred me to Boston.) The rest of the day was spent using my cryocuff, which was not only good for my knee, but good for staying a little cooler. Then dad arrived around 5 ish... He said he sees improvements in how I am motoring and got a kick out of the bell on my crutches. Mom told him when the newness wears off, he will find it annoying.

So...this means that I am close to flying solo.... yup... I think mom and dad will hit the road Sunday or Monday... (Monday if I end up needing to go to the dr's) Mom is nervous about it. She asked the physical therapist some questions today and got some reassurance that I will be ok. I do feel like I will be fine...yes..it will be more challenging, but I will do ok. And if I need help mom... I PROMISE I will ask.

More ME

Big Big News.... today..... I did my physical therapy exercises...the leg lift ones...without help!!! (Mom was cheering me on, but did not help in any physical way!) Sweet Success!!! Now I need to work on keeping my leg a little straighter when I do it... I am bending at the knee a little...but Physial Therapist "P" says it is all muscle control. P comes back again tomorrow. I am going to see if maybe she can help me get into my truck... I am beginning to get a little stir crazy and want to at least go for a drive if I want to.

This is a painting of gladiolus that I found at http://www.onlinekompagniet.dk/images/malerier/gfx_olie_gladiolus_92.jpg I really like gladiolus. I have them in my flower garden every year. They are such a pretty flower...so colorful! I have been walking to my gladiolus each day...but forget my camera, so this painting will have to do!)

Ahhhh... Last night I slept... yup... dare I say.....WELL.... shhhh... I don't want to say it too loud because I might jinx myself into not sleeping well tonight. Today I felt more like myself than I have in a while. Yahoo! I felt pretty strong today and felt like being a little devious...that has to be a good sign. Right? Another great thing about last night was that I got to talk to Rico. I was very happy about that. We hadn't talked since surgery and it was nice to catch up. Rico... your dream kept me smiling today... hope it did the same for you!

The visiting nurse came today to take my blood for the last time! Yay! I will have to be on the blood medication through Tuesday, but no need for more tests. I am relieved about that. Which also means........ THE SOCKS can come OFF on Wednesday... IF...and only IF... I behave... do a lot of walking, watch for swelling, etc... if I notice swelling I am supposed to wear them again. So I am going to do what I need to do! While the nurse was here she looked at my incision...the one on the back of my leg... Mom has been a little concerned about it because part of it is opening up and seeping!!! EEEWWW... not pleasant...maybe more info than you need, but I have had to cover things up with sheets or towels so that the seepage doesn't stain anything important. (I know...gross...but I am giving my true account of things here people...a little seepage is normal, but is supposed to decrease... this was increasing a little.) I can't contort myself enough to get a good look at it, but the nurse says it is no big deal... that because of where the incision is, it will be harder to heal. She pulled/pushed my skin back together and added some extra bandages and thinks it will do the trick. Even though I won't be having blood drawn anymore the nurse will continue to come and check on me....which I gotta say is comforting, knowing that the incision is not healing as well as the one on the front, which is healing really well. (Knock on wood!)

Kris and Suellen came by tonight and brought dinner over for me and mom... how cool is that? (They are the ladies who pimped my walker with the flowers!) They brought over some cooked chicken, veggies, mashed potato and cranberry sauce... YUMMY... AND they brought ICE CREAM from Cold Stone Creamery! I have some pretty great people around here... (And some pretty great people who are not geographically close, but close to my heart!) While they were here Kris and I set a goal for me....for next week. The goal is to be able to be bendy enough by Friday...one week from tomorrow... to get into a vehicle...go to a salon...and get pedicures! My toes are unpainted right now... Yup...naked toes... and for those of you who know me...you know I ALWAYS have them painted...even in winter. I couldn't have polish on them for the surgery and if I tried to paint them myself right now... well...due to the inflexibility... I would do well to paint my toes...let alone the nails. So I need to think of a color. I think I want something BOLD. Why not?

My sister was supposed to be coming up with the boys this weekend but my oldest nephew, the one who was here for a few days... has strep throat... and it is really bad... he has hives because his body reacts so strongly to strep...not good. Sis decided it would be too much for him, plus, not knowing who else is carrying the strep, doesn't want to infect me. I GREATLY appreciate that! Our family is very cautious about strep... when I was in high school my grandmother got such a severe strep infection whe almost died. It was horrible.... the same thing that killed Jim Henson...Not good... so... I prefer to not risk being around strep right now....though I am sad to not see my sister and the boys.

This weekend I am supposed to go to a concert... I am not sure if I will be able to go or not. Sara and Phil got me a ticket a while ago. It is at a local bar...a very small venue... and it will be, I am sure, a good show. My cocerns are: This bar is located downstairs in the basement of a building...so that involves going down and coming up an entire flight of stairs...have not done that yet...I have to have my leg up when I am sitting down or it swells and gets painful... not sure at a concert I could find a footstool...and...I am sure it would be a later night than what I am used to these days...even if I did take a nap... Plus...Sara loves this guy's music and I don't want her to have to worry about me being okay or would not want to have to leave part way through because of pain or discomfort...so...we'll see. (And of course... the socks...are an issue... I don't want to wear pants because I need to let air get to the incisions to heal....and well... the socks with shorts... not a good look. ahhhhhh) Maybe I have a skirt somewhere that would kind of work...)

My dad is heading back down here tomorrow. I think he misses Mom... awwww...how sweet. He did go camping for a couple of nights solo, but said it wasn't the same. So he will be heading down mid day and I believe he is planning to stop and see his mom on his way through.

Wow... this has become a long blog... apparently I am feeling better!

40 minute countdown...

Physical therapist P.. will be here in 40 minutes... how can I escape in those 40 minutes? Hmmm? I can't get into my truck... on either side...because my leg won't bend...so driving or being driven somewhere won't work... I am not very fast on my crutches so by the time I got down the driveway she would be here...at 6'6" tall, I can't exacly hide anywhere...and simply covering myself up with blankets would look a little silly. I did not sleep well again last night... pain kept me up...reminds me of pre-surgery. I got up this morning and did my first round of exercises and my first hour on my CPM machine. I am currently on the CPM machine waiting for my next torture...I mean PT session....I took two pain pills about 15 minutes ago, so I am hoping that the pain won't be too bad during the session. Maybe she will teach me some tricks of how to get into my truck... I won't tell her it would be so that I can escape from future appointments. :-) ahhhhhhh......

I chose this picture of the giraffe because it looks like it is trying to hide...unsuccessfully... I can relate...

Website of giraffe image: http://www.arizonasteve.com/photos/phxzoo0603/giraffe03.jpg